In a pinch, Steve Cohen has made himself a few zip-up fleece jackets with only a travel sewing kit and some Silly Putty at his disposal. Alone in the woods and miles from home, Ray Dalio has been known to fashion slingshots out of the remains of wildebeests. Having blown through all his 100-count packs already and not wanting to catch anything, George Soros has constructed condoms out of strips of bacon; old tea bags; and British pounds. According to Dealbook, however, today they must all bow down to the master. John Paulson, the billionaire hedge fund manager, will be forever known on Wall Street as the man who made nearly billions shorting subprime mortgages. But on Monday night at the United States Open men’s singles final, DealBook witnessed Mr. Paulson do something that, while not nearly as remunerative, was almost as impressive: He turned his necktie into an ascot...As the match wore on into the night, the temperatures dropped into the 50s and spectators grappled with how to stay warm. But Mr. Paulson, unable to avail himself of the U.S.T.A.-issued blanket and possibly reluctant to spend money on a Polo fleece, chose a different approach. Early in the fifth set, Mr. Paulson removed his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. He then wrapped the tie around his neck and transformed it into an ascot, providing additional warmth for the duration of the match. Wall Street Sits Courtside For A Marathon Match [Dealbook]

Scratch that. It was a triflin' $11.62 billion. They can't even scrape together the money for the 'g'.

Daniel Shak is the founder of SHK Management, a hedge fund that reportedly "pulled the plug on its sole investment, spread trades on Comex gold futures," last year. Daniel Shak is also the ex-husband of Beth Shak, who he divorced three years ago and is now suing for allegedly hiding assets in an attempt to cheat him out of settlement money. The assets in question? Twelve hundred pairs of designer shoes, which Shak claims his former wife "hid" from him in a "secret room." The way DS sees it, the footwear collection, which includes "Christian Louboutins and other high-end designer shoes" is worth approximately $1 million and he wants at least 35 percent. The way Beth Shak sees it, this is crazy (“I’m shaking my head over this whole thing,” she told reporters. “He is saying he didn’t know the closet in our master bedroom existed") and she doesn't understand why her ex is going after her shoes now. At this time there appear to be a few possible explanations: a) Daniel is raising money to re-launch his fund (he told the Journal, after liquidating SHK in January 2011, that he'd be "trading again in a few weeks," though it's unclear if that happened). b) He's got gambling debts to repay ("A poker lover himself, he was reached at a card table yesterday but declined to comment"). c) He and John Mack are going to sell them out of the back of a truck. d) He just really appreciates women's shoes. e) Other Hedgie sues poker pro ex-wife over her 1,200-pair designer shoe collection [NYP] Related (...?): Hedge Fund SHK Liquidates, Rattles Gold Market