A Wildebeest Leaves New York Traveling North At 10 MPH. A Hyena Leaves Westport Traveling South At 15MPH. At What Time Does The Wildebeest Get Eaten?

As many of you know, Bridgewater Associates is mega-successful, multi-billion dollar hedge fund guided by Principles, a company handbook written by founder and Mentor Ray Dalio, which instructs employees to go on radical truth seeking missions in order to better themselves and in turn the firm. Bridgewater takes the principles very seriously and each member of the staff is given spiral bound copies to read, highlight, and imbue their souls with. While the idea of Truth above all else is the overarching idea, there are literally hundreds of principles (such as 31a. "Ask yourself whether you have earned the right to have an opinion," 130. "...Firing people is not a big deal..." and 184. "Use checklists") which span 123 pages and are broken down into outline form after being explained at length. Though familiarity with them has always been an essential part of the job, there has never been formal test determining that all employees met the required level of efficiency. Until now. Apparently the firm has notified employees that there will be an exam on the material, which has resulted in people carrying around their copies and studying whenever they can, particularly on the bus ride from Manhattan to Wesport and back. No date has been announced but it will be administered online à la one of those mandatory HR quizzes that won't let you skip forward. According to proctors, Bridgewater simply wants to use the test as an opportunity to asses what people know, how they're interpreting the principles, and what requires further elucidation. It's unclear what the penalty for failing will be but remedial Principles classes seem obvious. Because we would hate to see any of you have to stay after school, we've highlighted what is most likely to be covered-- feel free to print these out and add to your study guide. ********************************************* ********************************************* ********************************************* ********************************************* ********************************************* ********************************************* ********************************************* Principles [Bridgewater]   essential     (which expects the staff to “probe” each other regularly, no matter one’s rank, in order to foster openness and meritocracy).
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As many of you know, Bridgewater Associates is mega-successful, multi-billion dollar hedge fund guided by Principles, a company handbook written by founder and Mentor Ray Dalio, which instructs employees to go on radical truth seeking missions in order to better themselves and in turn the firm. Bridgewater takes the principles very seriously and each member of the staff is given spiral bound copies to read, highlight, and imbue their souls with. While the idea of Truth above all else is the overarching idea, there are literally hundreds of principles (such as 31a. "Ask yourself whether you have earned the right to have an opinion," 130. "...Firing people is not a big deal..." and 184. "Use checklists"), which span 123 pages and are broken down into outline form after being explained at length. Though familiarity with them has always been an essential part of the job, there has never been a formal test determining that all employees met the required level of efficiency. Until now.

Apparently the firm has notified employees that there will be an exam on the material, which has resulted in people carrying around their copies and studying whenever they can, particularly on the bus ride from Manhattan to Wesport and back. No date has been announced but it will be in the near future and administered online à la one of those mandatory HR quizzes that won't let you skip forward. According to proctors, Bridgewater simply wants to use the test as an opportunity to assess what people know, how they're interpreting the principles, and what requires further elucidation. It's unclear what the penalty for failing will be but remedial Principles classes seem obvious. Because we would hate to see any of you have to stay after school, we've highlighted the material most likely to be covered-- feel free to print these out and add to your study guide.

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Bridgewater Associates Suggests Fate Worse Than Firing In Store For Hyenas Caught Cheating On Day-Long Principles Exam

A couple weeks back, we noted that Bridgewater Associates had informed employees that they would be required to sit for an exam on the contents of Principles, a 123 page company handbook of sorts, written by founder Ray Dalio and comprised of hundreds of "principles" that guide every aspect of life at the firm. Though familiarity with them has always been an essential part of the job, there has never been a formal test determining that all employees met the required level of efficiency and some people were said to be a bit nervous about what to expect. Luckily, a group called the Principles Training Team sent out an email yesterday walking everyone through what "Test Day" will entail and it appears there is nothing to worry about. The exam, which will begin at 9AM and end at 5PM with a break for lunch is simply "meant to feel like a day-long conversation on Principles." That doesn't sound so bad, right? Sure, parts of that conversation (which will take place between you and your computer), during which you "should have no materials on your desk," will be graded, but Bridgewater is simply trying to determine "what you know and honestly think about Principles." Think of this thing as just a coupla wildebeests, havin' a chat. Of course, as is the case in any animal kingdom, sometimes you'll find a few wildebeests looking to cut corners via cheat sheets-- you don't want to be those wildebeests, as the PTT will "audit for cheating, and cheating will be dealt with severely." To that end, don't be a weasley wildebeest who suddenly comes with a stomach bug on Test Day. The PTT will "keep track of lateness or unexpected absence," and suggests one might want to "think twice about calling in 'sick'!" Good luck to all! ******************************************* Earlier: A Wildebeest Leaves New York Traveling North At 10 MPH. A Hyena Leaves Westport Traveling South At 15MPH. At What Time Does The Wildebeest Get Eaten?