Bloomberg: Everyone Sleeps At The Office

Are you just waking up from a nap, perhaps your second of the day? Did you take it under your desk, curled up on the conference room floor, or in a bathroom stall? If the idea of regularly catching a few winks at your place of work sounds like a fireable offense, relax: apparently everyone is doing it, says Bloomberg BusinessWeek. Yes, from the people who brought you "90 percent of Wall Street does calisthenics in the middle of the trading floor," comes "Sleeping On The Job? Good! Overachievers Do." According to BBW, "many Wall Street types use power-napping to make up for lost sleep," at the office. Where do these naps take place? Wherever looks comfy and you can fit a pillow and an eye mask if overhead lights are an issue. Got some colleagues who haven't gotten the memo and continue to rudely pound the keyboard as though they don't know you're trying to get some sleep here? One woman recommended "heading out to the car to recharge." Sleepy Bankers Take Secret Naps [Bloomberg] Sleeping on the Job? Good! Overachievers Do [BusinessWeek] Related: The “Workout Taking Over Wall Street” Involves Treating Your Place Of Work Like Your Own Personal “Curves”
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Are you just waking up from a nap, perhaps your second of the day? Did you take it under your desk, curled up on the conference room floor, or in a bathroom stall? If the idea of regularly catching a few winks at your place of work strikes you as a fireable offense, relax: apparently everyone is doing it, says Bloomberg BusinessWeek. Yes, from the people who brought you "90 percent of Wall Street does calisthenics in the middle of the trading floor," comes "Sleeping On The Job? Good! Overachievers Do." According to BBW, not just some but "many Wall Street types use power-napping to make up for lost sleep," at the office. Where, specifically, do these naps take place? Wherever looks comfy and you can fit a pillow and an eye mask if overhead lights are an issue. Got some colleagues who haven't received the memo and continue to rudely pound the keyboard as though they don't know you're trying to get some sleep here? One woman recommends "heading out to the car to recharge." Break into one if you don't drive to work. No one will mind. Everyone's been there.

Sleepy Bankers Take Secret Naps [Bloomberg]
Sleeping on the Job? Good! Overachievers Do [BusinessWeek]
Related: The “Workout Taking Over Wall Street” Involves Treating Your Place Of Work Like Your Own Personal “Curves”

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Occupy Wall Street Defense Specialist: "Try In Vain to Sprint Away Alone" At Your Own Risk

Remember Occupy Wall Street? After being evicted from its Zuccotti Park global headquarters in Lower Manhattan last year the group seemed to loose a bit of steam but has vowed a resurgence, starting with a May 1 "spring offensive." Protests have been planned in 115 cities where "the financial elite play and plan," including the midtown offices of JPMorgan and Bank of America. Worried your place of business or home might be the target of some uninvited guests and/or a surly gigantic check? Then you might want to get in touch with your fellow prey and start strategizing. Planning for May 1 in New York began in January in a fourth-floor workspace at 16 Beaver St., about two blocks from Wall Street, according to Holmes. The date serves as an international labor day, commemorating a deadly 1886 clash between police and workers in Chicago’s Haymarket Square. The midtown demonstrations will take place from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m., followed by a march from Bryant Park to Union Square and a 4 p.m. rally there, according to an online schedule. Protesters, including labor unions and community groups, have a permit to march from Union Square to lower Manhattan, according to police. Goldman Sachs Group’s headquarters is among financial- district picketing options, Holmes said. Brian McNary, director of global risk at Pinkerton Consulting & Investigations, a subsidiary of Sweden’s Securitas AB works with international financial firms to “identify, map and track” protesters across social media and at their assemblies, he said. The companies gather data “carefully and methodically” to prevent business disruptions. Banks are preparing for Occupy demonstrations at the North Atlantic Treaty Organization’s Chicago summit on May 20 and 21 by sharing information from video surveillance, robots and officers in buildings, giving “a real-time, 360-degree” view, said McNary, who works on the project. Banks cooperating on surveillance are like elk fending off wolves in Yellowstone National Park, he said. While other animals try in vain to sprint away alone, elk survive attacks by forming a ring together, he said. As for what to do in the interim, pre-attack by wolf pack, lock it up. You're not doing anything. You're not teaming up with other elks, you haven't even heard about the demonstrations. What is Occupy Wall Street? Sayeth Mcnary, “When you portray a position ofweakness, it invites attack. [Banks] don’t want to provide the perception that they’re hunkering down behind their bulwarks and putting up big walls.” Wall Street Tracks ‘Wolves’ as May 1 Protests Loom [Bloomberg]

Barclays Chief Understands Not Everyone At The Bank Will Be Comfortable Complying With New Company Policy That Dictates They Follow The Law

Earlier today, Barclays chief Anthony Jenkins sent out a memo to employees informing them that moving forward, there'd be a new way of doing things 'round the bank. Namely, that whereas during his predecessor's tenure, manipulating interest rates and engaging in other forms of criminal activity was acceptable, such things would no longer fly. And not in a "this sort of thing is now frowned upon" way but in a "you actually can't do this anymore/if that presents a problem for you than clean out your desk and leave" way. Aware that change can be very difficult, that it often causes great anxiety, and that many will be initially resistant, Jenkins chose to take 1,479 words to get his message across, taking the time to acknowledge not everyone will be on board with acting "fairly, ethically and honestly," rather than writing: "Hey, we have a new policy called 'not doing illegal shit.' It's a little unorthodox and it may not be for everyone, so please take some time to think it over. If it's not for you, we wish you good luck in your future endeavors."

Bank Of America Makes Policy On Flashing Your Bare Ass At The Office Clear

Do you anticipate that at some point the future, in a moment of anger, you'll get the urge to unbuckle your belt, drop trou, and display your ass in the direction of your superiors? Do you hope to keep your job afterwards? If so, just a forewarning: Bank of America is not the company for you. Send a resumé to Citigroup or KKR or wherever. According to court documents, Jason Selch's friend Chris O'Dea was fired after he refused to accept lower compensation. This ticked Selch off. Selch burst into a conference room where executives from Columbia were meeting to give them a piece of his mind. He wound up giving them a piece of something else as well. First Selch asked if he had a non-compete agreement, which on Wall Street is usually a way of threatening to quit and go to work for a competitor. After the executives said he didn't have a non-compete, Selch mooned them, told one of the New York-based executives never to return to Chicago, and left the meeting. Extraordinarily, Selch wasn't fired. Instead he was issued a formal warning. Selch’s boss testified that while 99 percent of employees would have been immediately fired, Selch was one of the one percent who could be granted a one free mooning reprieve. The executive actually fought for Selch to keep his job. When Columbia CEO Brian Banks found out about this incident, he insisted that Selch be fired. The behavior was too “egregious” to allow Selch to continue at Columbia. No free mooning at Bank of America, Banks decided—even if you are in the one percent. The firing meant that Selch lost a multi-million contingent bonus package that would have vested if he had remained at the company a few months more. Because he was fired, Bank of America got the keep the money. Selch sued, arguing that firing him after issuing warning was a breach of contract...Last Wednesday, a three-judge appeals panel upheld the trial court, describing the mooning as “insubordinate, disruptive, unruly and abusive.” BofA Right to Fire Broker Who Mooned His Boss: Court [NetNet]

Bloomberg Worried About Tim Geithner's Ability To Put Food On The Table

As you may have heard, because you've read the reports reports or picked up on the Morse code message he's blinked out during every appearance on CNBC or he threw himself on the hood of your car and screamed "Get me outta here" the last time you drove up to the Treasury building, Tim Geithner is ready to leave Washington. Has been for some time, in fact, but previous requests to go home were all denied. Now that his bosses are supposedly going to allow him to leave in the event Obama is reelected, many are wondering what will be next for TG. Despite having spent the majority of his career in public service and giving the impression that he has no desire to work for Wall Street, Bloomberg is thinking that with the albatross that his his unsellable Larchmont house around his neck, a family, and college tuition to pay, Geithner may not have a choice. The years in public service -- particularly engaging in diplomacy with domestic and foreign partners -- left a deep impression on Geithner, infusing him with a sense of purpose that he might find lacking on Wall Street...Yet the years in civil servitude have also left Geithner in need of a better salary. Geithner is one of the least wealthy men to head the Treasury Department in recent years. He took more than a 50 percent pay cut to assume the job. His $199,700 salary is higher than the $174,000 earned by most members of Congress. His pay has been increased by $8,400 in three years, yet his net worth pales next to such predecessors as Hank Paulson and Bob Rubin. With two mortgages and two college-age children, the lure of private-sector money could be hard to resist. BlackRock's Fink, for instance, received $23.8 million in salary and stock in 2011, making him No. 1 in the Finance 50, Bloomberg Markets' annual ranking of the best-paid CEOs at the largest U.S. financial companies. Other ideas Bloomberg has for ways Geithner can make ends meet that he's already said no to include writing a memoir. He "publicly ruled out" doing so in September, but they're pretty sure he'll reconsider after the guy he hired to patch up his roof tells him the whole thing needs to be replaced. What's Next For Tim Geithner [Bloomberg] Related: Tim Geithner To Finally Be Set Free? Also Related: Robert Shiller, Westchester-Area Realtor Rub Tim Geithner’s Nose In It

Bloomberg: How Wall Street's Stomachs Fared During The Hurricane

...when Falcone and five LightSquared colleagues met over a meal of white-truffle pasta and Barolo at a Washington restaurant in January, they failed to come up with anything they could have done differently, according to a person who was there who asked not to be identified because the meeting was private.-- Falcone Waits For Icahn Doubling Down On Network When JPMorgan, which earned the most of any of the six banks over the four quarters, decided to thank employees for their performance this year, it sent 161,680 individually wrapped buttercream-frosted, chocolate chip, oatmeal-raisin and sugar cookies to retail branches and call centers in the U.S., U.K., Philippines and India.-- No Joy On Wall Street As Biggest Banks Earn $63 Billion Cooperman, 68, said in an interview that he can’t walk through the dining room of St. Andrews Country Club in Boca Raton, Florida, without being thanked for speaking up. At least four people expressed their gratitude on Dec. 5 while he was eating an egg-white omelet, he said.--Bankers Join Billionaires To Debunk 'Imbecile' Attack On Top 1% American International Group Chief Executive Officer Robert Benmosche, 66, a Kappa Beta Phi member who disclosed in October that he was undergoing treatment for cancer, was there. He looked energetic, the two attendees said. In 1930, the dinner was beefsteak. This year, the meal featured lobster salad, shrimp, pigs-in-a-blanket, lamb chops and pistachio ice cream.-- Wall Street Secret Society Kappa Beta Phi Adds Dealmakers With Lehman Rite Wall Street headhunter Daniel Arbeeny said his “income has gone down tremendously.” On a recent Sunday, he drove to Fairway Market in the Red Hook section of Brooklyn to buy discounted salmon for $5.99 a pound.--Wall Street Bonus Withdrawal Means Trading Aspen For Coupons The clam-juice cocktails at the private Stock Exchange Luncheon Club, where brokers lined up three deep at the raw bar, contained tomato juice, cooled water from boiled chowder clams, ketchup, celery salt and the option of a freshly shucked clam. Add vodka and they called it a Red Snapper.--How America Ceded Capitalism's Bastion To German Boerse Seizing Big Board As someone once said, you can find out a lot about a man or woman's character during moments of great crisis. Do they fall apart? Do they become shells of their former selves? Do the worst parts of them come out? Do they turn their backs on everything they supposedly once stood for? Or do they, even in moments of darkness, rise to the occasion and demonstrate the morals and values they held when times were good are the very same ones they choose to live by when times are bad? For Bloomberg News reporter Max Abelson, Hurricane Sandy was a test. Would he turn in an article containing few if any reference to the food people consumed during the natural disaster? Or would his commitment to bringing readers exhaustive details re: what his Wall Street subjects eat (see above, here, and here) burn ever bright, to the extent that sources and interviewees elaborating on their situation beyond provisions would find themselves cut off and told, "Just the food and drink, toots. I got a lotta calls to make"? Luckily for us, it was the latter. Herewith, an accounting of things stuffed down the gullets of Wall Street over the last two days: * Murry Stegelmann, Kilimanjaro Advisors: expensive wine, green tea. “I had to go to the wine cellar and find a good bottle of wine and drink it before it goes bad,” Murry Stegelmann, 50, a founder of investment-management firm Kilimanjaro Advisors LLC, wrote in an e-mail after he lost power at 6 p.m. on Oct. 29 in Darien, Connecticut. The bottle he chose, a 2005 Chateau Margaux, was given 98 points by wine critic Robert Parker and is on sale at the Westchester Wine Warehouse for $999.99. “Outstanding,” Stegelmann said. He started the day with green tea at Starbucks, talking with neighbors about the New York Yankees’ future and moving boats to the parking lot of Darien’s Middlesex Middle School. * Wilson Ervin, Credit Suisse: the most depressing breakfast ever. Erin...went to the bank’s office at 11 Madison Ave. afterward to work on evaluations of managing directors and financial regulation. He ate a lunch of Raisin Bran, coffee and a banana from the 7-Eleven downstairs, he said. * Pablo Salame, Goldman Sachs: sushi, the piece of which Abelson or his research assistant counted. He posted a picture of 21 pieces of sushi on a Twitter account in his name on Oct. 29. “Only in NYC, Seamless Sandy sushi delivery in TriBeCa, Monday 730 pm,” the post said. * Wilbur Ross, WL Ross And Co: a painting. “I was scheduled to come back Sunday night, and I decided not to, because everything during the week would be canceled anyway,” said Ross, chairman of private-equity firm WL Ross & Co. “I’m stuck in Palm Beach.” He stayed in touch with colleagues using a fax machine along with phone and e-mail. His Florida home includes a painting by Rene Magritte of petrified blue apples, an image that is also depicted on a custom-made Van Cleef & Arpels watch he owns, he told Bloomberg News this year. * JPMorgan employees: many of the culinary delights its cafeteria offers on a regular basis but NO DUMPLINGS. JPMorgan, which sent out more than a dozen hurricane updates to its employees featuring detailed weather maps, kept parts of its 270 Park Ave. cafeteria open yesterday. Danishes and scones were available near the salad bar, and the bank’s deli had sandwiches with grilled vegetables. The dumpling bar was closed. Wall Street Finds Sandy Silver Lining In Wine, Monopoly [Bloomberg] Related: Things People Have Eaten in the Presence of Bloomberg Reporter Max Abelson [Daily Intel]