As you may have heard, the last number of months have been a bit tough on hedge fund manager Steve Cohen. In November, one of his former employees, Mathew Martoma, was accused of orchestrating "the most lucrative insider trading scheme ever," in a criminal complaint in which Cohen was referenced as Portfolio Manager A. A week later, the Times lopped 21,000 square feet off his house. Earlier this month, he had the pleasure of setting the record for the largest insider trading fine ever, at $614 million, a sum that does not even put this whole thing behind him, as the settlement "doesn't preclude the Securities and Exchange Commission from pursuing Cohen himself in the future." So you'll excuse the Big Guy if he felt the need to indulge in a little retail therapy recently.

Geoffrey Raymond, Wall Street's artist in-residence, who's done everyone from Jimmy Cayne to Jamie Dimon to Lenny Dykstra to Ina Drew, put his paintbrush to the canvas over the weekend and came up with this: "Portrait of Mathew Martoma, In The Manner of Roy Lichtenstein," which is apparently supposed to be an homage to "Drowning Girl." As this one might become a collector's item, and animals in formaldehyde aren't going for what they used to, consider making him an offer tout de suite. Bidding starts at 10K.

He won't, but he *could*.