Who Didn't Realize Sending Packages Containing Fake Grenades Was Something This Office Frowned Upon?

As you may have heard, earlier today, people working in 2 World Financial Center were evacuated from the building after a suspicious package was flagged by security. Initial reports claimed it contained a grenade; obviously this was cause for alarm and would have continued to be had the NYPD determined it to be an actual grenade and not a "grenade-like novelty item," mounted on a plaque with a sign that says "Complaint Dept. Pull Pin." Now that it's clear everyone is safe (and at least mildly buzzed), a few questions need answering. 1. Who sent this thing? Was it: a) A person whose sense of humor involves putting something like the above (or a sign that reads "I can only please one person per day. Today isn't your day...and tomorrow don't look good either") on her desk. b) An idiot friend of someone who works in the building. c) An rival bank trying to disrupt Nomura trading d) other 2. Assuming the item was purchased by someone working in the building, when do you think it dawned on him or her that they were responsible for having the building evacuated? 3. What will the consequences for the sender be, legal and professional? Senior Jailhouse Correspondent Matt puts the probability of prison time at 1.37 percent.
Author:
Publish date:
Updated on

As you may have heard, earlier today, people working in 2 World Financial Center were evacuated from the building after a suspicious package was flagged by security. Initial reports claimed it contained a grenade; obviously this was cause for alarm and would have continued to be had the NYPD determined it to be an actual grenade and not a "grenade-like novelty item," mounted on a plaque with a sign that says "Complaint Dept. Pull Pin." Now that it's clear everyone is safe (and at least mildly buzzed), a few questions need answering.

1. Who sent this thing? Was it:
a) A person whose sense of humor involves putting something like the above (or a sign that reads "I can only please one person per day. Today isn't your day...and tomorrow don't look good either") on her desk
b) An idiot friend of someone who works in the building
c) An rival bank trying to disrupt Nomura trading
d) other

2. Assuming the item was purchased by someone working in the building, when do you think it dawned on him or her that they were responsible for having the place evacuated? Right away or after they'd been standing outside for a while, shooting the shit with colleagues and speculating as to what was going on ? And at that point what level of terror washed over them? Like, "This is awkward" or "[I need to get out of here NOW]"

3. What will the consequences for the sender be, legal and professional? Senior Jailhouse Correspondent Matt puts the probability of prison time at 1.37 percent.

Related

Goldman Sachs Does Not Look Kindly Upon First Year Analysts Who Plan In Advance

Pop-quiz: you're a first year analyst at Goldman Sachs, with a little more than twelve months left until your two year commitment is over and you are free to take a job elsewhere. Do you A) take part in private equity and hedge fund recruiting now, and, if someone was particularly impressed with your junior mistmaking skills, accept an offer for a gig beginning in June 2013 or B) tell the buyside you are sorry but are prohibited from engaging in such activities at this time, as they would pose a conflict of interest for Goldman Sachs? At this time, GS JM's believe the correct answer is A, while higher-ups, who believe there is a firm policy in place that says no analyst shall take part in recruiting until six months from the time they've finished the two year program, are going with B. So now this is happening: Goldman has been firing IBD first year analysts with buyside offers. Senior people are calling up funds to ask if any analysts have received offers from them. A bunch have been cut so far. A bunch, we're told, is in the ballpark of four, which seems like enough to put the fear of god into people.

2 World Financial Center Evacuated, "Suspicious Package" Being Investigated [Update: Break's Over]

Building 2 is home to Nomura Securities, among others. According to the Daily News reports the package is thought to contain a grenade. Update: Though initially worried about what was going on, Nomura employees are apparently "pretty calm right now" and "gathered at a local bar waiting to see what's next." Nomura NY Offices Evacuated Due To Suspicious Package, Traders Say [MarketBeat] NYPD Investigating Suspicious Package at World Financial Center [Bloomberg] World Financial Center evacuated after suspicious package found [NYDN]

Yahoo! RésuméGate, Day 9: Scott Thompson Didn't Even Offer Yahoo The Courtesy Of A Fake Résumé

Last Thursday afternoon, hedge fund manager Daniel S. Loeb, who is waging a proxy battle against Yahoo, made a simple request: that the board of directors fire CEO Scott Thompson, who had lied about having a computer science degree from Stonehill College, when in fact the academic fraud only graduated with a degree in accounting. Loeb wanted the job done by Monday at 12 noon, EST and as the deadline passed, it was clear the request was would not be honored. As a result, Loeb was forced to demand every single document related to Thompson's hiring at the company. Emails, heading hunting referrals, thoughts, feelings, the works. Most importantly, the résumé Thomspon submitted when applying for the gig. Did Loeb enjoy dragging this out? No. Did he take pleasure in watching the "carnage" unfold? Certainly not, and he's shocked and offended anyone would ever think that. Nevertheless, a computer science degree had been fabricated out of thin air and Loeb felt he owed it to shareholders to get some answers. And while Yahoo! has presumably not yet faxed over the documents he asked for, they did offer this: Apparently the Yahoo chief says he's being honest when he tells us no fake résumés were submitted to Yahoo because they never got any résumés, period. Yahoo‘s embattled chief executive, Scott Thompson, told the company’s senior management on Thursday that he never submitted a résumé or falsified his academic credentials, a person briefed on the matter said. [Dealbook]

Hedge Fund Manager Who Faked His Own Death Has A Few Theories About Other Famous Murders, Real And Imaginary

Remember Samuel Israel III? For those with short memories, SI3 is a former hedge fund manager who faked his own death in June 2008 with the help of his girlfriend, Debra Ryan, who later wrote an article explaining her actions by noting that she and Israel had "a blazing sex life" that was hard to walk away from (Ryan shared colorful anecdotes that included all the times Israel would "[jokingly] sneak up on her, once while wearing sunglasses on his penis"). For Israel's part, he had pretended to kill himself, incorporating a line from M*A*S*H into his fake suicide note, in an attempt to avoid the prison stay that was coming his way, on account of having taken Bayou Group investors for more than $450 million. At the time, he became something of a minor celebrity, whose business card, prominently featuring an egret, was auctioned off on eBay but since ultimately being sentenced to twenty years behind bars we'd heard nary a peep from the guy. Luckily, Andrew Ross Sorkin recently flew down to Butner, North Carolina for a little chat and it's a good thing he did because Israel had a lot he wanted to get off his chest. After offering ARS an "orange Life Saver," discussing his own version of a playoffs beard ("Mr. Israel...was wearing a tan prison uniform with his hair grown out, a mass of silver and brown curls sprouting from the sides of his bald head. 'I’m never going to cut it until I get out,' he exclaimed"), and talking Ponzi schemes, SI3 got down to the real matter at hand. About halfway through, the interview turned bizarre when Mr. Israel, on the verge of crying, announced: “I took a man’s life. I shot him twice.” I asked for more details. The story is recounted in “Octopus,” but the author, Mr. Lawson, doesn’t appear to believe it. In the supposed slaying, Mr. Israel describes himself defending a known con man, Robert Booth Nichols, who claimed to have once worked for the Central Intelligence Agency and has since died. Mr. Nichols was undertaking a secret trade at a German bank and was ambushed outside by a cockeyed “Middle Eastern guy.” Mr. Israel says he shot the ambusher in the hip and then in the head. He looked at me, shaking, and said, “I’ve seen someone with their head blown off maybe two feet back — as close as I am to you.” Mr. Israel recognized my skepticism. When I asked him what happened to the body, he said, “Bob made a couple of calls.” Again, I looked at him quizzically. “These people can do anything. They can get rid of a body,” he said. “Come on,” he added, looking at me as if I didn’t understand. “They can kill presidents.” I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. “The J.F.K. thing,” he said. He went on to tell me that he had videotapes of Kennedy’s assassination and that one was stolen by the F.B.I. “I know it makes me look like a crackpot,” he said. “But I know it’s real. Look into my eyes — I don’t care if people think I’m crazy.” Egrets. A Con Man Who Lives Between Truth And Fiction [Dealbook]

Guy Who Was Fired By Goldman Sachs For Amassing "Inappropriately Large" Position Welcomed With Open Arms At Morgan Stanley

Back in December 2007, things weren't going so well for Matthew Marshall Taylor. He'd just been fired from Goldman Sachs and not only was he out of a job, but his prospects for finding a new one didn't look so hot, on account of the fact that Goldman planned to put a note in his file detailing the reason he'd been let go-- "for building an 'inappropriately large' proprietary trading position"-- and it seemed unlikely anyone at the firm would be open to serving as a reference for him moving forward.  Three months later, however, one bank told MMT that there was room for him at their inn. Morgan Stanley, apparently having decided the incident at Goldman was but an asterisk in what would be a long and fruitful career, told Taylor to come on down, employing him for over four years until he left in July of his own accord and not because of any legal issues relating to his work at Goldman Sachs. Taylor was accused yesterday by the U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission of concealing an $8.3 billion position in 2007 that caused Goldman Sachs to lose $118 million. Goldman Sachs fired Taylor in December 2007 and cited “alleged conduct related to inappropriately large proprietary futures positions in a firm trading account,” in a so-called U-5 form, according to a Financial Industry Regulatory Authority document. Morgan Stanley, which had employed Taylor before he joined Goldman in 2005, re-hired him in March 2008, according to the records. Taylor, who handled client-related equity derivative trading at Morgan Stanley, left the firm in July, according to Mark Lake, a company spokesman in New York. His departure wasn’t related to the CFTC complaint filed against Taylor yesterday in federal court, according to a person familiar with the situation, who requested anonymity because the information is private. Taylor concealed the position by bypassing the firm’s internal system for routing trades to the Chicago Mercantile Exchange and manually entering fabricated futures trades in a different internal system, according to the complaint. Goldman Sachs, which wasn’t identified in the CFTC lawsuit, said Taylor allegedly made the trades while employed at the firm. Anyway, since MMT is a free agent at the moment, if any other banks would like to overlook the blip, please do get in touch directly. Citi, BofA? At least just think about it. He was good enough for Morgan Stanley, he should be good enough for you. Morgan Stanley Hired Goldman Trader Accused Of Hiding Position [Bloomberg] CFTC Charges Matthew Marshall Taylor with Fraud for Fabricating and Concealing Trades from His Employer and Obstructing Their Discovery [CFTC]