Harvard grads are rich; Bitcoins; Brazilians; Blankfein; "I’m Ashton Kutcher and I’m here to help"; "Oregon artist to sell image of Trump painted with menstrual blood"; and more.

$$$ SEC Opens Review of J.P. Morgan [WSJ] $$$ $$$ Chesapeake Energy: How To Lose $1 Billion In 46 Minutes [MarketBeat] $$$ Facebook's IPO already oversubscribed [Reuters] $$$ "The new lead investigator at the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission's watchdog office has been placed on administrative leave after he talked openly about wanting to carry a concealed firearm at work and some employees complained he was a physical threat, according to people familiar with the matter." [CNBC, related] $$$ Are Dads the New Moms? [WSJ] $$$ An elite credit focused hedge fund is seeking a trade assistant for its CDS desk in New York [DBCC] $$$ Avon Board Said to Study Coty Diligence Request [Bloomberg] $$$ This is a pretty cool idea for shareholder lawsuit settlements [M&A Law Prof Blog] $$$ John Travolta's lawyer calls third claim of sexual advances 'ridiculous' [NYP] $$$ Failed Buffett dinner auction still draws donation [CNBC]

$$$ Argentina to Seize Control of Oil Firm [WSJ] $$$ World Bank picks Kim as next head [FT] $$$ Coty Tries to Rally Support for Avon Bid Amid Skepticism [DealBook] $$$ Brazil Cannibal Empanadas: Brazilian Women Murdered, Eaten And Made Into Human Pastries [HuffPo, congrats on the Pulitzer] $$$ PIMCO is looking to fill tax manager positions - in regulated and private funds - in Newport Beach [DBCC] $$$ New York Jets All-Pro D'Brickashaw Ferguson, will be on Wall Street (Exchange Place and Broad Street) at 3:45pm tomorrow as part of The Decathlon 2012. Ferguson will be demonstrating how The Decathlon uses performance-based donating ('charitybets') to raise money to support Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. He'll be charitybetting on any Wall Streeter to come out and participate in a Vertical Jump contest. Ferguson will have a Vertec (devise used at the NFL Combine to test vertical leaping) and a few thousand dollars - CASH - to donate to MSKCC. Jump 24-inches, Ferguson donates $100. Jump $26-inches, Ferguson donates $200. And so on and so forth. Registration for The Decathlon 2012 opens Tuesday, April 17th. The event is on Sunday, July 29th at Columbia University's Wien Stadium. $$$ For Two Economists, the Buffett Rule Is Just a Start [NYT] $$$ Following Other People's Stock Picks Just Got Easier but why? [Bloomberg] $$$ What is Carney talking about? [Reuters / Ben Walsh] $$$ ECB staff demand inflation protection [Money Supply] $$$ Rock Out With Your Cock Out: Penis Warmers Are Now a Thing [Fashionista] $$$ Breasts lead to arrest of Anonymous hacker [CNET]

UBS profits; MBA hiring on the rise; GS president Gary Cohn and Andrew Ross Sorkin are texting buddies; "Scrote-n-tote gives consumers X-rated fashion accessory"; and more.

$$$ Fiscal Cliff Talks to Get Fast Track [WSJ] $$$ William Dudley: Solving the Too Big to Fail Problem [FRBNY] $$$ EU Should Reach Deal on Greek Aid Next Week, Grilli Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Work Still Needed to Reduce Repo Market Risks: Fed Official [MarketBeat] $$$ Taliban Reveal Identities of Their Mailing List Members [ABC] $$$ Do Not Expect a Hug From Mayor Bloomberg [DI] $$$ Prudential is looking for a senior financial writer to do product marketing in Newark [DBCC] $$$ How Hostess Failed: Hedge Funds vs Unions [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Don't worry, Twinkies will survive [Term Sheet] $$$ Man Group to Sell Lehman Legal Claims for $456 Million [DealBook] $$$ Lee Buchheit on Greek debt reprofiling with Felix Salmon [Reuters] $$$ Judge Tells Drug Trafficking Defendant He Can’t Have Another Joint ‘For Old Time’s Sake’ [ATL] $$$ Britain has invaded all but 22 countries [kottke]