Harvard grads are rich; Bitcoins; Brazilians; Blankfein; "I’m Ashton Kutcher and I’m here to help"; "Oregon artist to sell image of Trump painted with menstrual blood"; and more.

$$$ SEC Opens Review of J.P. Morgan [WSJ] $$$ $$$ Chesapeake Energy: How To Lose $1 Billion In 46 Minutes [MarketBeat] $$$ Facebook's IPO already oversubscribed [Reuters] $$$ "The new lead investigator at the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission's watchdog office has been placed on administrative leave after he talked openly about wanting to carry a concealed firearm at work and some employees complained he was a physical threat, according to people familiar with the matter." [CNBC, related] $$$ Are Dads the New Moms? [WSJ] $$$ An elite credit focused hedge fund is seeking a trade assistant for its CDS desk in New York [DBCC] $$$ Avon Board Said to Study Coty Diligence Request [Bloomberg] $$$ This is a pretty cool idea for shareholder lawsuit settlements [M&A Law Prof Blog] $$$ John Travolta's lawyer calls third claim of sexual advances 'ridiculous' [NYP] $$$ Failed Buffett dinner auction still draws donation [CNBC]

$$$ Argentina to Seize Control of Oil Firm [WSJ] $$$ World Bank picks Kim as next head [FT] $$$ Coty Tries to Rally Support for Avon Bid Amid Skepticism [DealBook] $$$ Brazil Cannibal Empanadas: Brazilian Women Murdered, Eaten And Made Into Human Pastries [HuffPo, congrats on the Pulitzer] $$$ PIMCO is looking to fill tax manager positions - in regulated and private funds - in Newport Beach [DBCC] $$$ New York Jets All-Pro D'Brickashaw Ferguson, will be on Wall Street (Exchange Place and Broad Street) at 3:45pm tomorrow as part of The Decathlon 2012. Ferguson will be demonstrating how The Decathlon uses performance-based donating ('charitybets') to raise money to support Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. He'll be charitybetting on any Wall Streeter to come out and participate in a Vertical Jump contest. Ferguson will have a Vertec (devise used at the NFL Combine to test vertical leaping) and a few thousand dollars - CASH - to donate to MSKCC. Jump 24-inches, Ferguson donates $100. Jump $26-inches, Ferguson donates $200. And so on and so forth. Registration for The Decathlon 2012 opens Tuesday, April 17th. The event is on Sunday, July 29th at Columbia University's Wien Stadium. $$$ For Two Economists, the Buffett Rule Is Just a Start [NYT] $$$ Following Other People's Stock Picks Just Got Easier but why? [Bloomberg] $$$ What is Carney talking about? [Reuters / Ben Walsh] $$$ ECB staff demand inflation protection [Money Supply] $$$ Rock Out With Your Cock Out: Penis Warmers Are Now a Thing [Fashionista] $$$ Breasts lead to arrest of Anonymous hacker [CNET]

UBS profits; MBA hiring on the rise; GS president Gary Cohn and Andrew Ross Sorkin are texting buddies; "Scrote-n-tote gives consumers X-rated fashion accessory"; and more.

$$$ Regulator says no to Obama mortgage write-down plan [Reuters] $$$ Boehner, Reid reach early deal to avert shutdown [WaPo] $$$ Problems with a positive expected value lottery [Kid Dynamite] $$$ Problems with using Twitter signals in your quant fund [Willy Staley] $$$ J.P. Morgan Awarded ‘Best Trader’ For Second Quarter (Really) [Deal Journal] $$$ Snoop Lion explains name change [from "Snoop Dogg"], new focus [reggae] [CNN] $$$ Pimco is looking for a trade compliance analyst in New York and a trade compliance supervisor in Newport Beach [DBCC] $$$ SEC seeks more investor protections for U.S. muni market [Reuters] $$$ High frequency trading costs investors $2.5bn a year, or less, or zero, or benefits them, or something else [BBW] $$$ Switzerland is ‘new China’ in currencies [FT] $$$ FraudVille? Zynga sued for insider trading [Term Sheet] $$$ Happy 25th birthday, Microsoft PowerPoint! [Undercover Economist] $$$ The Porn Convention [Forbes]