$$$ Gawker acquires semi-public audited financials of Bain Capital funds, orgasms all over them [Gawker, related] $$$ Bain Capital's conversion of management fees into carry may have been tax aggressive [Victor Fleischer] $$$ Republicans eye return to gold standard [FT] $$$ New York Fed Sells Last of AIG Bonds, at a Profit [WSJ] $$$ "Hedge Funds, Grimacing, Open the Kimono" [Bloomberg] $$$ BlackRock would like to hire a securities lending accounting associate in San Francisco, if that's your cup of tea [DBCC] $$$ The Downsizing of the American Butler [CNBC] $$$ What's up with Best Buy? [DealBook] $$$ Citi passed its make-up stress test [Reuters] $$$ Seven-Year-Old Wins Iceland Ram Groping Contest [Iceland Review via MR]

$$$ Athens faces tough bail-out terms [FT] $$$ ECB to Exchange Greek Bonds [WSJ] $$$ I give up, what would you do about Greece? [Crooked Timber] $$$ Yelp Sets Terms for March IPO [WSJ, possibly related] $$$ Goldman hires Harvard students because Harvard is bad at educating them [Bloomberg / Ezra Klein, possibly related] $$$ Australia's richest person wrote the universe's worst poem ("Develop North Australia, embrace multiculturalism and welcome short term foreign workers to our shores / To benefit from the export of our minerals and ores" etc.) [Telegraph via The Jane Dough] $$$ You could be a Credit Risk Senior Analyst at Genworth in Stamford [eFinancialCareers] $$$ Icahn Offers to Buy CVR Energy in at Least $2.6 Billion Deal [Bloomberg] $$$ The SEC raised the qualifications for being charged 2 and 20 [SEC] $$$ Merrill brokers are fine selling bad advice but draw the line at selling BofA banking services [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Welcome to six months ago Art Cashin. Some tips: buy NFLX; don't take any Tuscan cruises. [MarketBeat] $$$ Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore wants to end the default practice of quarterly earnings guidance and explore issuing loyalty-driven securities as part of an overhaul of capitalism which he says has turned many of the world's largest economies into hotbeds of irresponsible short-term investment. [Reuters] $$$ Toddler Rescued From Inside Claw Game [ABC]

$$$ JPMorgan Said To Face Escalating Senate Probe Of CIO Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ J.P. Morgan Names New Chief Investment Officer [Deal Journal] $$$ Banks now like to do quarterly calls with bondholders [WSJ] $$$ Some people still like big banks [Bloomberg] $$$ FINRA is suing a test-prep firm for taking Series 7, etc., exams 64 times, failing 52 of those times, and memorizing the questions to tell their students [Reuters; the complaint is also amusing] $$$ [Harvard] Economics concentrator Ali E. Evans ’13 received his [Harvard Business School] acceptance email on Wednesday while sitting in class next to his roommates. He said he celebrated silently and texted his parents. Evans said he has visited classes at the Business School with his tutors at Kirkland House since sophomore year. "Leading my own company one day is definitely a goal of mine, and so business school definitely fits in with that plan," he said. [Crimson] $$$ Pimco is looking for a diversity & inclusion coordinator in Newport Beach [DBCC] $$$ Qatar Imperils Big Merger of Commodity Companies [DealBook] $$$ There's a new Kindle Fire and it's cheaper [WSJ] $$$ Citigroup, Goldman, UBS Sued Over Mortgage-Backed Bonds [Bloomberg] $$$ Goldman must face mortgage debt claims - 2nd Circuit [Reuters] $$$ European political leader says "Some fans of group sex say that it’s better than one-on-one because, as with any collective work, you can skive off," is not Silvio Berlusconi [Telegraph]