Write-Offs: 04.10.12

$$$ Rick Santorum drops out of the presidential race [WaPo] $$$ Alcoa Posts Surprise Profit After Aluminum Orders Climb [Bloomberg] $$$ Hedge funds lag the market, again [Fortune] $$$ Dan Loeb has convinced Yahoo that it's time to move forward with some buzzwords [AllThingsD] $$$ "The conventional wisdom that Facebook sees Instagram as competition is not the whole story. It may also see Instagram as particularly advertiser-friendly content that its users currently have trouble producing. Think of it as a $1 billion way to make your parents’ status updates more interesting." [Reuters / Ryan McCarthy] $$$ Interested in behavioral economics? Then don't buy Karl Daniels's Fast and Slow Thinking. [Language Log] $$$ Mitt Romney Is Doing ‘Gay Voice’ in This Video, Says Professional Gay Voice Expert Bob Corff [Gawker] $$$ How would you like to be a portfolio management associate at Starwood Capital in Greenwich? [DBCC] $$$ NY pushes objection to BofA $8.5 billion mortgage pact [Reuters] $$$ "Court: Checking Facebook on Your Work Computer Isn't a Crime." Other courts disagree. [WSJ Law Blog] $$$ "For the first time in its 4 1/2 year life, a program on the Fox Business Network has topped a show on CNBC for an entire week in both Total Viewers and younger viewers." [TVNewser via Talking Biz News] $$$ What Do Europe's Pirate Parties Stand for? [Bloomberg] $$$ This happened [BI] $$$ Mayonnaise Store Now Open in Prospect Heights [Brownstoner] $$$ 5-year-old brings heroin for 'show and tell' [Stamford Advocate]
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$$$Rick Santorum drops out of the presidential race [WaPo]

$$$Alcoa Posts Surprise Profit After Aluminum Orders Climb [Bloomberg]

$$$Hedge funds lag the market, again [Fortune]

$$$ Dan Loeb has convinced Yahoo that it's time to move forward with some buzzwords [AllThingsD]

$$$ "The conventional wisdom that Facebook sees Instagram as competition is not the whole story. It may also see Instagram as particularly advertiser-friendly content that its users currently have trouble producing. Think of it as a $1 billion way to make your parents’ status updates more interesting." [Reuters / Ryan McCarthy]

$$$ Interested in behavioral economics? Then don't buy Karl Daniels's Fast and Slow Thinking. [Language Log]

$$$Mitt Romney Is Doing ‘Gay Voice’ in This Video, Says Professional Gay Voice Expert Bob Corff [Gawker]

$$$ How would you like to be a portfolio management associate at Starwood Capital in Greenwich? [DBCC]

$$$NY pushes objection to BofA $8.5 billion mortgage pact [Reuters]

$$$ "Court: Checking Facebook on Your Work Computer Isn't a Crime." Other courts disagree. [WSJ Law Blog]

$$$ "For the first time in its 4 1/2 year life, a program on the Fox Business Network has topped a show on CNBC for an entire week in both Total Viewers and younger viewers." [TVNewser via Talking Biz News]

$$$What Do Europe's Pirate Parties Stand for? [Bloomberg]

$$$This happened [BI]

$$$Mayonnaise Store Now Open in Prospect Heights [Brownstoner]

$$$5-year-old brings heroin for 'show and tell' [Stamford Advocate]

Related

Write-Offs: 04.09.12

$$$ Facebook to Buy Instagram For $1 Billion [WSJ] $$$ "[R]ight before its billion dollar acquisition from Facebook, Instagram closed a $50 million Series B round from Sequoia, Josh Kushner’s Thrive Capital, Greylock and Benchmark at a $500 million valuation. ... Investors, many of whom didn’t know about the Facebook acquisition, literally doubled their money (which was wired to Instagram last Thursday) overnight." [TC] $$$ Feds aim to sack former Bears QB Jim McMahon over bad bank loans [Chicago Sun-Times] $$$ "JOBS Act won't mean mass marketing for hedge funds." Just a few discreet ads on Dealbreaker. [AR-Alpha] $$$ John Mack: “You have to do what makes you passionate and turns you on. And this really turns me on.” "Selling women's shoes? [NYM] $$$ Are you in business school and looking for a job? T. Rowe Price is looking for an MBA intern in its global investment services division [DBCC] $$$ What if the Sky Fell? [Bloomberg TV] $$$ Banks test ‘CDOs’ for trade finance [FT] $$$ Bank of America, Barclays Deny Illegal Acts Over Archstone [Bloomberg] $$$ William Cohan thinks that an FDA for financial products is a silly idea; update your priors [Bloomberg, earlier] $$$ ‘The Unchosen Ones,’ a proposed reality TV series, focuses on former Hasidic Jews [NYDN] $$$ The Jennifer Love Hewitt Handjob Hour Is The Funniest New Show On TV [Gawker]

Write-Offs: 07.06.12

$$$ Hedge fund performance YTD: Paul Tudor Jones +1.59%, David Einhorn +3.7%, Dan Loeb +3.9%, HFRX Global Index +1.22%, S&P +8% [Reuters] $$$ For Fletcher Investors: Unhappy Returns and, So Far, No Refunds [WSJ] $$$ Money market funds close after ECB cut [FT] $$$ CNBC thinks it's important to report the "hot news story" of Libor manipulation without mentioning Libor, for some reason [CNBC] $$$ Marxism is back [Guardian] $$$ Massachusetts man pays off mortgage with pennies [AP] $$$ A Chicago hedge fund is looking for a quant trader/ quant strategist to join a high frequency trading team [DBCC] $$$ Italy Approves €4.5 Billion in Spending Cuts for 2012 [WSJ] $$$ Commercial Mortgages Show How Bad It Got [NYT] $$$ Reverse mortgages: the celebrity pitchman aren’t even the worst part [Reuters / Ben Walsh] $$$ You can predict the outcome of negotiations and business pitches without hearing a word by observing the ratio of speaking to listening and the amount of voice fluctuation [Farnam Street] $$$ It's going to be 105 degrees in New York tomorrow, so that's nice [DI]

Write-Offs: 06.15.12

$$$ Hopes for central bank action mount [FT] $$$ Mohamed El-Erian: "There is only so much central banks can do" [FT] $$$ Got Cash in Greek Banks? Don't Pull It! [NetNet] $$$ Hedge fund closures hit 2-year high in 1st quarter [Reuters] $$$ A "driven, even obsessive entrepreneur with a proclivity for micromanagement" who is unlikely to take his company public [NYTM] $$$ Also, bath salts [Spin] $$$ "Looking like Jesus can have a very powerful effect on people. When I appeared on stage as Jesus for the first time, a man saw me and collapsed into tears. Looking like this in daily life can be interesting. When I go into bars, for example, I always see people nudging each other. Invariably someone will come up to me with a bottle of water and ask me to turn it into wine. That happens a lot. I was on a date once in a wine bar, and we ended up with three tables joined together with everyone wanting to re-enact the Last Supper using the wine and the bread. It was strange, but fortunately the girl I was with thought it was fun." [FT] $$$ MetLife is looking for an associate director level credit derivatives trader in New Jersey [DBCC] $$$ In Motion, Facebook Lays Out Defense and Highlights Nasdaq’s Missteps [DealBook] $$$ Gupta Jurors Saw American Dream and Convicted [Bloomberg] $$$ The JPMorgan Whale’s regulatory motive [FTAV] $$$ "Can We Watch Some European Football Please?" asks Jim O'Neill [GSAM] $$$ The NFL will let fans pay for All-22 footage [WSJ] $$$ For one protester, 'Occupy' becomes a way of life [Reuters]

Write-Offs: 04.05.12

$$$ Facebook to List on Nasdaq [WSJ] $$$ Egan-Jones Cuts US Credit Rating to 'AA,' Citing Debt [CNBC] $$$ Swiss Are Tested on Franc [WSJ] $$$ Jefferies Ends First Quarter With Short Position on Spain [Bloomberg] $$$ ABS shows Greek bonds can pay par [IFR] $$$ Hyenas Give Up Scavenging For Lent [LiveScience via The Hairpin, related?] $$$ Like the NYSE, we’ll be off tomorrow. Enjoy the long weekend and we'll see you Monday. $$$ Jobs News Could Be So Good That It's Bad. Or vice versa? [WSJ] $$$ Architect of Fed’s ‘Operation Twist’ quits [FT] $$$ Kozlowski Is Turned Down for Parole [DealBook] $$$ The Vulcan/Martin Marietta takeover fight is pretty nasty [Dealpolitik] $$$ Why You Should Learn to Love Pink Slime [The Atlantic / Adam Ozimek] $$$ Beer is not the main cause of the the beer belly [Guardian]

Write-Offs: 03.20.12

$$$ A 'Corzine Rule' for Funds [WSJ] $$$ BofA Merrill Lynch prunes Canadian workforce [Financial Post] $$$ Fed Is Ready to Act if Europe Falters Again: Bernanke [Reuters] $$$ Chinese prison labor is making your internet gaming whatsits [Guardian] $$$ Surely everyone from Occupy Wall Street to Ron Paul will be convinced by this and we'll never hear about the gold standard again [BI] $$$ One person's Op-Ed is another's opportunity? A major investment bank is currently looking to expand its equity derivatives flow desk with a senior salesperson and a senior flow trader [DBCC] $$$ So long, BarCap [DealBook] $$$ BarCapJust Barclays thinks large European banks would have passed the US stress tests [DealBook] $$$ Santorum: "I don't care" about unemployment rate [Reuters] $$$ "Heand several colleagues were accused of selling unsuitable and overly risky investments. The case, regulatory records show, involved the stocks of Stearns & Lehman, a specialty food products company." That does sound risky. [NYT] $$$ "The only thing that Internet Explorer is good for at all is downloading other browsers." This is true, but watch this Microsoft commercial anyway. [Matt Yglesias / Slate]

Write-Offs: 12.17.12

$$$ Knight Weighs Offers [WSJ] $$$ US banks call for easing of Basel III [FT] $$$ US banks increase retention of mortgages [FT] $$$ Instagram's CEO maybe lied to the California Corporations Department about whether Twitter offered to buy Instagram [NYT, cf. Felix Salmon] $$$ Peter Madoff Says He Was a Victim of Brother’s Ponzi Scheme [Bloomberg] $$$ Silvio Berlusconi may or may not be engaged to a 27-year-old [Gawker] $$$ A leading buyside institution is looking for a senior investor relations specialist in New York [DBCC] $$$ Argentina got its boat back [Credit Slips] $$$ Aladdin Capital to pay $1.6 mln to resolve SEC charges [Reuters] $$$ U.S. agency sues JPMorgan over mortgage securities [Reuters] $$$ Calstrs Reviewing Cerberus Investment in Light of Newtown Shooting [Deal Journal] $$$ Elie Ayache, Author of the Black Swan [Wilmott]

Write-Offs: 06.08.12

$$$ Europe Considers a Spanish Bank Rescue [Bloomberg] $$$ S&P says U.S. to avoid "fiscal cliff", risks remain [Reuters] $$$ "The fact is that if UBS ended up losing anywhere close to $350 million on Facebook stock, it has no business being in the equity capital markets at all." [Felix Salmon] $$$ Groupon is Now Giving Groupons ... for Groupon [NYO] $$$ Who cheats more, bankers or politicians? Disappointingly, bankers, according to a survey conducted in bars [Wonkblog] $$$ John Carney takes the pulse of Wall Streeters "waiting for a fourth martini at a once-fashionable midtown bar," "at a tavern along a cobble-stoned street in the financial district," "[a]t Stone Rose in the Time Warner center" and "having a drink with a colleague at Emmett O’Lunney’s" [NetNet] $$$ Are you a credit risk specialist? Any interest in analyzing credit risk for the National Rural Utilities Cooperative Finance Corporation in Dulles, VA? [DBCC] $$$ Citi Won't Request Stock Buyback This Year [WSJ] $$$ Gupta ‘Highly Likely’ to Take the Stand, Lawyer Says [WSJ Law Blog] $$$ After reading a passage about the prospect of Goldman buying a bank, Mr. Naftalis asked the chief executive if he had read the portion correctly. “Yes,” replied a smiling Mr. Blankfein, who glanced from the jury to the judge. “You read it well.” Judge Jed Rakoff, prone to making jokes during trial himself, belted out a laugh, and the courtroom followed. [DealBook] $$$ This year’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest is expected to be even more heated than usual now that ESPN, which televises the July 4 competition, has pushed the start time later to accommodate the sports network’s first-ever coverage of Wimbledon. ... Major League Eating president George Shea said he expects the later 3 p.m. start time to also drive up ratings for the glutton-fest, which attracted 1.9 million live viewers last year. But he admits the mid-afternoon heat “should make it much more difficult” for the dog devourers to break Joey Chestnut’s 2009 world record of 68 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes. “Heat causes the buns to crisp up more and the dogs to expand, making a run at the record nearly impossible,” said professional eater and perennial Nathan’s contestant Jason “Crazy Legs” Conti. [NYP] $$$ Vampire High Priest Loses Religious Civil Rights Case [ATL]

Write-Offs: 05.11.12

$$$ SEC Opens Review of J.P. Morgan [WSJ] $$$ $$$ Chesapeake Energy: How To Lose $1 Billion In 46 Minutes [MarketBeat] $$$ Facebook's IPO already oversubscribed [Reuters] $$$ "The new lead investigator at the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission's watchdog office has been placed on administrative leave after he talked openly about wanting to carry a concealed firearm at work and some employees complained he was a physical threat, according to people familiar with the matter." [CNBC, related] $$$ Are Dads the New Moms? [WSJ] $$$ An elite credit focused hedge fund is seeking a trade assistant for its CDS desk in New York [DBCC] $$$ Avon Board Said to Study Coty Diligence Request [Bloomberg] $$$ This is a pretty cool idea for shareholder lawsuit settlements [M&A Law Prof Blog] $$$ John Travolta's lawyer calls third claim of sexual advances 'ridiculous' [NYP] $$$ Failed Buffett dinner auction still draws donation [CNBC]