Woman Wants $150 Trillion-ish From MF Global, Thinks She Is Barack Obama

Earlier this month, the Journal explored the difficulty MF Global customers have encountered in attempting to get their "missing" back, after the firm went down for the dirt nap last October. One woman who can relate all too well? Barack Obama AKA Angela Dozier-Carter, who is owed $150 trillion and then some, of which she hasn't seen a dime. Sadly, it doesn't look like President Dozier-Carter will be seeing any money any time soon, as MF Global's lawyers have filed a motion dismiss her claim, calling them "patently absurd on their face." In related news, this isn't the first time ADCBO has been screwed out of money rightfully owed to her. On January 27, 2010, Ms. Dozier-Carter filed two more complaints in the Court of Federal Claims, identified as case numbers 10-63 and 10-64. In Complaint 10-63, Ms. Dozier-Carter seeks $25 million as a reward for capturing Saddam Hussein. In Complaint 10-64, Ms. Dozier-Carter seeks $400,000 in annual salary and expenses because she allegedly "took the Oath of Office for the 44th President of the United States of America as Barack Obama[.]" This is far from over. MF Global Motion To Expunge Claim [PDF] Dozier-Carter v. U.S. [Leagle] Customer Divide At MF Global [WSJ]
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Earlier this month, the Journalexplored the difficulty MF Global customers have encountered in attempting to get their "missing" money back, after the firm went down for the dirt nap last October. One woman who can relate all too well? Barack Obama AKA Angela Dozier-Carter, who is owed $150 trillion and then some, of which she hasn't seen a dime.

Sadly, it doesn't look like President Dozier-Carter will be seeing any money any time soon, as MF Global's lawyers have filed a motion dismiss her claim, calling "the return of trillions and billions of dollars...patently absurd." In related news, this isn't the first time ADCBO has been screwed out of money rightfully owed to her.

On January 27, 2010, Ms. Dozier-Carter filed two more complaints in the Court of Federal Claims, identified as case numbers 10-63 and 10-64. In Complaint 10-63, Ms. Dozier-Carter seeks $25 million as a reward for capturing Saddam Hussein. In Complaint 10-64, Ms. Dozier-Carter seeks $400,000 in annual salary and expenses because she allegedly "took the Oath of Office for the 44th President of the United States of America as Barack Obama[.]"

This is far from over.

MF Global Motion To Expunge Claim [PDF]
Dozier-Carter v. U.S. [Leagle]
Customer Divide At MF Global [WSJ]

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Don't Let Opportunity To Dress Yourself Exclusively In MF Global-Branded Apparel Pass You By

Waxing nostalgic for the dearly departed brokerage firm? Don't have any connection to the place or sentimental feelings for it whatsoever but in need of a new wardrobe? You're in luck. An online auction of MF Global "memorabilia" is being held through Wednesday and all shit must go! Between the t-shirts, windbreakers, and stadium blanket that can double as pants, you've got a whole outfit. Want to get a jump start on Christmas gifts for your colleagues but don't want to break the bank? Nothing will say "I really enjoy working with you" quite like MF Global mugs, hats, pens, mouse pads, sticky notes, and "blue bags containing tissues." Finally, the crown jewel of the lot are the "light up bouncy balls with MF Global logo." Don't let yourself be outbid. HyperAMS Releases Video Preview for MF Global Bankruptcy Auction: Fine Art, CBOT Vintage Clacker Board, Memorabilia [Equities via BI]

MF Global Trustee Was Just Kidding About Paying Out Bonuses To Upper Echelons Of MF Global Management

Last month, it was reported that Louis Freeh, the trustee unwinding the remains of MF Global, would be asking a judge to "approve performance-related payouts for the chief operating officer, finance chief and general counsel at MF Global," as well as twenty other MF Global employees who stayed on after the firm bit the big one. According to one of Freeh's advisers, the bonuses were the only way they could retain the talent necessary to deal with this thing and would actually "quite honestly save a considerable amount of the estate's resources," as losing the team would mean hiring a bunch of consultants who wouldn't have the first clue about where the bodies were buried. Unfortunately for those who went out and blew the money they thought they had coming to them, Freeh wasn't actually serious about paying bonuses. “It was never my intention” to pay out bonus money to executives from the firm, Freeh told members of the Senate Banking Committee at a hearing today. Freeh committed to lawmakers that he would not distribute bonus money to current or former MF Global employees...Freeh, in his prepared remarks, said his team employs 15 non-executives, most of whom were former MF Global employees, along with the senior executives. Freeh said he has considered “a retention program” for them and added that “no formal program was ever created for senior executives, nor was any motion ever filed with the court for approval in connection with any retention program for senior executives.” MF Global Executives Will Not Receive Bonus Money, Trustee Says [Bloomberg]