What Hank And Hal Steinbrenner Need To Ask Themselves Right About Is, Do We Want $3 Billion Deposited In Our Bank Account In A Friendly Manner Or Do We Want It Violently Shoved Down Our Throats?

Are the Yankees for sale? "Baseball and financial sources" say yes. People with the last name Steinbrenner say no. Perhaps the latter, though, just needs to meet the right buyer? A buyer who's got money to spend? A buyer who wants a Major League Baseball team so badly he can taste it? Who has so far bid on not one, not two, but three organizations in the last year? A buyer who can do this the easy way or the hard way? He's going to get his hands on a team one way or another and the sooner people realize that the better. So everyone is preparped, when the Big Guy is running the show, the first order of business will be: a) Shitcan A-Rod b) Reassign A-Rod to clean SAC's offices c) Rehire Ping Jiang to discipline underperforming players d) Gather all Yankee employees and unleash four hour-long string of obscenities about garbage performance e) all of the above

Author:
Bess Levin
Updated:
Jan 14, 2019
Original:
May 24, 2012

He's going to get his hands on this team one way or another if it's the last thing he does and the sooner people realize that the better. It'll be a big change, of course, and so everyone is prepared, let's determine now what the very first order of business will be when the Big Guy is running the show. In pondering the question, remember that there will be a considerable amount of work to do in terms of whipping these noncontributing zeros into shape but he'll also be really excited to finally be an MLB owner and won't want to be too harsh too soon.

So, Day 1, 8:00AM, what happens:

a) Shitcan A-Rod
b) Rehire Ping Jiang to discipline underperforming players, of which there are many
c) Gather all (Yankee) employees on the field and unleash four hour-long string of obscenities about garbage performance
d) all of the above
e) write-in

News

...because they're about their last! SAC Capital Advisors founder Steven Cohen is the front-runner to purchase the Los Angeles Dodgers. Reports earlier this week indicated that Cohen's bid for the baseball team was a couple hundred million dollars less than that made by former baseball executive Stan Kasten and Los Angeles Lakers legend Magic Johnson. But Cohen's bid now matches the Kasten-Johnson offer of $1.6 billion—and at least half of Cohen's purchase price would come in the form of cash. Indeed, Cohen, who last month bought a small stake in the New York Mets, which he would have to give up if approved to buy the California team, may already be planning for the Dodgers' future. He has reportedly spoken with former Major League manager Tony La Russa about taking the team over under a Cohen regime. [FinAlternatives]

News

Last month, Rochedale analyst Dick Bové sent out a note to clients that began with what he dubbed "some interesting stats." Said stats were salaries of the New York Yankees' top infielders ("not including promotional deals"!) versus those of JPMorgan's Jamie Dimon, Wells Fargo's John Stumpf, Citigroup's Vikram Pandit, and Bank of America's Brian Moynihan. The baseball players' compensation totaled about $80 million, the CEOs' $65 million. Fair? Bové didn't think so, noting that while the talentless hacks in the Bronx have won but single World Series in the last 10 years, the banks run by the aforementioned CEOs "impact virtually every American household" (and if pressed to, could surely bring home at least a few Major League Baseball championships). "Clearly, society values the New York Yankees infield above that of the leaders of the banking industry even without a World Series ring," Bové concluded sarcastically, shouting "nailed it" at Mr. Giraffe. Obviously, Bové is of the mind that it's a crock how little these chief executives are paid considering all they do compared to noncontributing zeroes like Alex Rodriguez and Co. It's unclear if the former head of MLB's players' union caught Bové's riff or if not but last night he offered something of a rebuttal and, spoiler alert, he thinks Wall Street pay is bull shit. Appearing at the New York University School of Law on Tuesday night to discuss the 40th anniversary of the first baseball strike and the rise of the players' association, Marvin Miller, the 95-year-old former union head, spoke for 68 minutes and delivered a blistering criticism of corporate pay. He also said collusion by owners in the mid-1980s was worse than the Black Sox scandal in 1919 and claimed the first baseball commissioner, Kenesaw Mountain Landis, may have been a member of the Klu Klux Klan. "Let's take chief executive officers of important corporations, or the stock exchange or Wall Street firms," he said. "The typical way that compensation is set is for the board of directors, most of whom if not all of whom have been appointed directly by the CEO, decide what the CEO's salary should be, or they have a committee, a compensation committee composed of board members. "The first thing about that is that here you have a direct conflict of interest, because sitting on a board are executives of other corporations, and what they are doing is adding ammunition to their own quest for higher salaries. And it's such an obvious conflict of interest that it's awful. Of course they're going to vote for higher salaries." He said the directors are at fault because "they don't pay for it. It's paid for by stockholders, who have had no voice on what the salaries and compensation and perks of the chief executive should be." He then compared the system to baseball, where the average salary on opening day this year was $3.4 million and the Yankees' Alex Rodriguez topped players at $30 million. "There always has been and is a rule that no contract of a player is valid unless it is signed by the franchise owner or somebody designated by the franchise owner in his place," Miller said. "In other words, no salary is put on paper and becomes valid until the man who is going to pay for it, the owner of the franchise, has signed the contract. A better check and balance you can't find anywhere." According to Miller, "the more democratic thing is to require the approval of a majority of the stockholders." Whose Pay Is More Deserved: CEOs or Ball Players? [Real Time Economics] Marvin Miller Blasts Corporate Pay [AP] Earlier: Dick “Fire A-Rod” Bové: Underpaid Bank CEOs Should Seek Yankees Tryout

News

What Hank And Hal Steinbrenner Need To Ask Themselves Right About Is, Do We Want $3 Billion Deposited In Our Bank Account In A Friendly Manner Or Do We Want It Violently Shoved Down Our Throats?

New York Mets Might Want To Savor Their Time Under The Tutelage Of Steve Cohen

Former Major League Baseball Union Rep Is Sickened By Wall Street Pay

BusinessWeek Finds A Weird Way To Kick Steve Cohen When He's Down

Steve Cohen Sends Fred Wilpon A Message

Steve Cohen Still In The Bidding For (49%) Mets Stake

Steve Cohen Plays Hard Ball With The Mets

One Iota Of Horseplay In The Locker Room And He Would've Pulled The Plug On The Whole Thing

Plan D: A Hostile Takeover Of The Newark Bears