$$$ TARP’s Smallest Recipient Repays, Treasury Reaps $62,000 [Real Time Economics] $$$ Peter Madoff Gets 10 Years for Aiding Brother’s Ponzi Scheme [Bloomberg] $$$ Role of Brokers in UBS Scandal Draws Scrutiny [WSJ] $$$ "At long last the New York Stock Exchange has achieved its main goal in recent years: consumption by a beast higher on the food chain." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ This Handy Vibrator Is a Great Place to Store Your Pitch Decks [BetaBeat] $$$ Franklin Templeton is looking for a director of portfolio analysis and investment risk in San Mateo, CA [DBCC] $$$ San Bernardino paid $2 million in cash-outs before bankruptcy filing [Reuters] $$$ Making It Easier to Estimate Libor Losses [DealBook] $$$ US banks face rise in bad loans cover [FT] $$$ Pope already beating Justin Bieber’s rate of Twitter retweets — just a week after launching account [NYDN]

$$$ Fed says economy may need help, keeps policy on hold [Reuters] $$$ U.S. Treasury to Develop Floating-Rate Notes [WSJ] $$$ Flood of Errant Trades Is a Black Eye for Wall Street [NYT] $$$ PokerStars Strikes U.S. Deal to Buy Full Tilt Poker [Bloomberg] $$$ Australian Billionaire Reportedly Planning to Clone a Dinosaur for Jurassic Park-Themed Resort [NYO] $$$ The Federal Highway Administration is looking for a financial policy advisor in D.C., if that might be of interest to you [DBCC] $$$ Nationalising RBS on the table [FT] $$$ The Facebook Flip: Funds Exit Early [WSJ] $$$ What the U.S. Postal Service Default Really Means [BBW] $$$ London mayor gets stuck on zip line during Olympic celebration [NYDN]

$$$ Fed Officials Weigh More Stimulus, Minutes Show [WSJ] $$$ Investors get lowest-ever Treasury yields [FT] $$$ Spain steps up austerity amid protests [FT] $$$ San Bernardino becomes third California city seeking bankruptcy [Reuters] $$$ Wall Street Recruiter Suing the City After Being Arrested for Giving Cops the Finger [NYO] $$$ Financier Leon Black Is Mystery Buyer of 'The Scream' [WSJ] $$$ Russell Investment Group is looking for a head of fixed income research in Seattle or London [DBCC] $$$ CME to Open Fund Set Up After MF Global for Peregrine Clients [Deal Journal] $$$ SEC approves database plan to audit stock trades [Reuters] $$$ Silvio Berlusconi set to run again to become Italian prime minister [Telegraph] $$$ Romney Says He’ll Release 2011 Tax Return When It’s Ready [Bloomberg] $$$ Crazy Clause in McDonald’s’ Olympics Sponsorship Deal Bans All Other Vendors From Selling French Fries to Attendees [Gawker]

$$$ Spain Banks Have $76 Billion Capital Deficit in Stress Test [Bloomberg] $$$ How Bernanke Pulled the Fed His Way [WSJ] $$$ The economics of video games [Wonkblog] $$$ Scaramucci Picking Singapore Shows City as Hot Spot [Bloomberg] $$$ "SocGen’s Alberts concedes that his writing can be 'pretty insane' and his market timing 'unerringly inaccurate.'" CNBC's headline is "Bernanke’s ‘Ruinous’ QE Will Lead to Rapid Inflation: SocGen’s Albert Edwards" [CNBC] $$$ 'Cocaine For Snowblindness': What Polar Explorers Packed For First Aid [NPR] $$$ AIG is looking for a credit analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ Mortgage lending should provide a tailwind to bank earnings [Reuters] $$$ Ex-analyst at unit of Cohen's SAC Capital admits insider trading [Reuters] $$$ Global regulators follow UK’s Libor lead [FT] $$$ What Your Beer Says About Your Politics [Hotline] $$$ From King’s Daughter to Lowly Fishmonger: Lisa Marie Presley Is Selling Fish and Chips out of the Back of a Van [Gawker]

$$$ FBI Launches Criminal Inquiry Into Heinz Options Trading [WSJ] $$$ Herbalife Fourth-Quarter Profit Tops Analysts’ Estimates [Bloomberg] $$$ Greenlight shows 'likelihood of success' against Apple -judge [Reuters] $$$ One problem with paying interest on excess reserves is that you pay interest on excess reserves [FT] $$$ Blavatnik hits out at ‘arrogant’ JPMorgan [FT] $$$ "I use psychoanalytic theory to argue that the malevolent object of [Occupy Wall Street's] critique is the father, who, in fulfillment of the paternal function, forces socialization upon us. The world of artificial images is culture, seen from the standpoint of alienation. Their alternative, rooted in their authenticity, with themselves as models, doesn't amount to much." [SSRN via Bainbridge] $$$ "'If you want to protect yourself get a double barrel shotgun, you don't need an AR-15,' Biden said, referring to a type of semi-assault weapon. 'You don't need an AR-15, it's harder to aim, it's harder to use...buy a shotgun. Buy a shotgun.'" [TPM] $$$ A leading hedge fund administrator is seeking a project manager / business analyst [DBCC] $$$ OfficeMax, Office Depot in Talks to Merge [WSJ] $$$ Is Linn Energy ponzi-ish? [Bronte Capital] $$$ Institutional buyers jostle for position in new infrastructure debt market [Euromoney] $$$ Multimillion Diamond Heist at Brussels Airport [WSJ] $$$ A guy wrote a book that, unlike every other book, "paints a picture of a fast-moving, high-stakes, ego-fueled market controlled by a handful of traders. The champagne flowed when profit was strong, he said, but heads rolled over a single miscalculation." [DealBook] $$$ "[W]e are very well-versed in the legend of the power breakfast, but we will enhance it with our own culture ...” [NYP]

$$$ Dow Hits Highest Close Ever [WSJ] $$$ Venezuela's Hugo Chavez dies from cancer [Reuters] $$$ FBI joins SEC in computer trading probe [FT] $$$ Wall Street 'Deal Toy' Indicator Flashes a Bullish Sign [CNBC] $$$ A Friendly Conversation with a Banker [The Billfold] $$$ There Is A Petition To Make R Kelly's “Ignition (Remix)” The National Anthem [BuzzFeed] $$$ An international trading house is looking for a Dodd-Frank compliance officer for its swap dealer business [DBCC] $$$ Citigroup Books $579M for Pay Plan Shareholders Panned [Bloomberg] $$$ Board Patience Wears Thin at Penney [WSJ] $$$ Buybacks, M&A, and de-equitisation [FTAV] $$$ ISDA to Send Credit-Default Swaps Changes to Traders [MarketBeat] $$$ The FBI is looking for a drone, if you've seen it [FBI]

$$$ Spain to inject up to €19bn into Bankia [FT] $$$ New Democracy, Syriza Tied In Greek Race For First, Poll Says [Bloomberg] $$$ "Banks get to play a fun game every quarter that could be called Guess the Value of Your Assets! JPMorgan Chase plays it more than its peers." [DealBook] $$$ "This study proposes a novel framework for capital regulation that addresses banks’ incentives to take on excessive risk and leverage. The framework consists of a special capital account in addition to a core capital requirement. The special account would accrue to a bank’s shareholders as long as the bank is solvent, but would pass to the bank’s regulators — rather than its creditors — if the bank fails." [FRBNY] $$$ "Barry also had a knack for interceptions. When a joint was making the rounds, he often elbowed his way in, out of turn, shouted "Intercepted!," and took an extra hit. No one seemed to mind." [DI] $$$ That’s it for us today. We’re off Monday for the holiday, enjoy the long weekend and see you on Tuesday! $$$ Fortress Investment Group is looking for a treasury analyst in San Francisco [DBCC] $$$ Marc Faber: 100% Chance of Global Recession [CNBC!] $$$ Prosecutors gain early edge in Raj Gupta trial [Breakingviews] $$$ Despite Doubts, Lehman Charges Still Possible [DealBook] $$$ "A penguin on the run from a Tokyo aquarium since early March was adjusting to life back on the inside yesterday after being recaptured on a riverbank. The Humboldt penguin, one of 135 kept at Tokyo Sea Life Park, was recaptured after 82 days of freedom that had even seen it outwit Japan’s well-resourced coast guard. ... The hunt for the bird, which the aquarium said did not have a name, began in early March after it was spotted bathing in a river that runs into Tokyo Bay. Keepers believe the creature made its break for freedom after being startled into climbing over a rock twice its size." [AFP]

$$$ Fed Proposes Broad Guidelines for Foreign Banks [WSJ] $$$ UBS Libor Pact Said to Include Charges Against Bankers [Bloomberg] $$$ SEC has examined Bank of America mortgage repurchases [Reuters] $$$ China investors grow angry at mud-slinging [FT] $$$ VIDEO: "Big Write-Offs Will Inspire You," Top AIG Exec Raps About Bailout [MoJo] $$$ Best Buy Gives Founder More Time to Make a Bid [DealBook] $$$ Apple Falls as UBS Projects Growth Slowdown [Bloomberg] $$$ This is a story about conversion-free contingent convertible notes [Euromoney] $$$ This is a story about an ad hoc group of sewer warrant holders [Bloomberg] $$$ "There's also the fear that admissions officers could develop Sandy fatigue. 'That's the risk, that everyone from New Jersey or New York is going to be writing about Sandy,' said Nicole Oringer, a private admissions counselor." [WSJ]