Write-Offs: 05.15.12

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$$$Greece fails to form unity government [FT]

$$$Greek Depositors Withdrew $898 Million From Banks Monday [WSJ]

$$$ "The plane carrying newly sworn-in French President François Hollande was hit by lightning Tuesday afternoon, forcing him to delay a trip to Berlin, where he is due to meet German Chancellor Angela Merkel." [WSJ]

$$$ Happy 13F day, Warren Buffett, Phil Falcone, Whitney Tilson [WSJ, WSJ, ZH]

$$$ Bank boards should focus on businesses that are doing suspiciously well [HBR / Sallie Krawcheck]

$$$ Mario Batali is living on food stamps for a week [AP]

$$$A Bronx principal who fantasized to female subordinates about getting intimate with office furniture is being demoted to assistant principal amid new allegations, The Post has learned. The Department of Education is investigating claims by a 15-year-old girl at Bronxdale HS that first-year principal John Chase Jr. made comments that made her uncomfortable, according to a source. Staffers at the brand new school have been calling for Chase’s ouster since a DOE probe confirmed in December that he had made at least three remarks about oral sex to female staffers – including that a new copy machine was so fancy it could give “b--w j--s.” [NYP]

$$$F.B.I. Begins Preliminary Inquiry Into JPMorgan [DealBook]

$$$Gupta Defense, Prosecutors Spar Over Evidence [WSJ]

$$$Chesapeake shares fall on downgrade, loan [Reuters]

$$$ Come on Aubrey McClendon! [Daily Drip, related]

$$$ A rapidly growing Philadelphia-based alternative asset management firm is seeking a full-time investment fund associate - interested? [DBCC]

$$$In Iowa, Romney Warns of a ‘Prairie Fire of Debt’ [NYT]

$$$ James Lipton gives Mitt Romney advice on how to act like a human [DI]

Related

Write-Offs: 10.15.12

$$$ A Nobel Prize for Market Design [Digitopoly via @Counterparties] $$$ Study shows $1.2 trillion gap for public pensions [Reuters] $$$ RBS Said to Suspend European Rates Trading Head on Libor [Bloomberg] $$$ Softbank to Buy Sprint Nextel for About $20 Billion [WSJ] $$$ "The study's results identified three factors that groups with high team intelligence possess: The ability of group members to read and respond to social cues; The proportion of women in the group (women tend to do better on social perception tests); Evenly distributed conversational turn-taking, rather than dominance by a few members." [HBR] $$$ Paul Ryan Scrubs Already Washed Soup-Kitchen Pots Because That’s How Much He Cares [DI] $$$ A top investment bank is looking for a director-level global markets risk senior manager in New York [DBCC] $$$ Goldman Names Bayo Ogunlesi to Its Board [DealBook] $$$ Basel liquidity rules and their impact on the interbank money market [VoxEU] $$$ "Squirrels don’t lobby Congress, when the ranger decides to burn down the bit of the forest where their acorns are buried. Banks and their creditors are unlikely to take 'controlled burns' of their institutions so stoically." [interfluidity] $$$ This is an amusing story about a research analyst screwing up a model to show a covered company needing $500mm of capital instead of the correct $50mm [Integrity Research Watch] $$$ Koch brothers’ company encourages employees to vote for Romney in mass mailing [NYDN]

Write-Offs: 09.24.12

$$$ Tables turn on Spain with pressure to seek bailout [Reuters] $$$ Maybe David Viniar will be Goldman's chairman when Lloyd retires and Gary is CEO? [WSJ] $$$ "The study found that for a sample of modifications to securitized subprime mortgages, a 10 percent reduction in the monthly payment was associated with a 4.5 percentage point reduction in the twelve-month redefault rate." [New York Fed] $$$ "If Apple continues on its current trajectory, something remarkable might happen on April 9, 2015, at around 11 a.m. That is, statisticians and investors I've spoken with say, a conservative estimate of when Apple could become the first company ever to be valued at $1 trillion." [NYT!] $$$ Welcome to the world Quartz! [Qz] $$$ "To call the Berenstains anthropomorphized bears insults both humans and bears." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Credit Suisse is looking for a research analyst for commodity strategies in asset management in New York [DBCC] $$$ U.S. Corporate Bond Tally Could Top $100 Billion in September [WSJ] $$$ Meredith Whitney is still pretty sure banks will fire a lot of people [CNBC] $$$ William Cohan confuses himself horribly about Whaledemort [Bloomberg] $$$ Mario Batali is paying $1.15mm to Del Posto employees to settle a lawsuit over wages, tips, overtime and discrimination [Diner's Journal] $$$ Hillary Clinton Aide Tells Reporter To “Fuck Off” And “Have A Good Life” [BF] $$$ Mitt Romney Doesn’t Get Why Airplane Windows Don’t Open [DI]

Write-Offs: 3.9.16

Block calls U.S. stocks rally 'dead cat bounce'; Strategist says Trump is a wild card for the markets; Naked Female Motorist Leads New Mexico Cops On 100 MPH Chase, Says She Was Too Hot For Clothes; and more.

Write-Offs: 07.25.12

$$$ Schaeuble Declares Markets Wrong As Europe Heads To Vacation [Bloomberg] $$$ Don't Force Banks Into 'Draconian' Breakups: Whitney [CNBC] $$$ Morgan Stanley Stock May Be Worth $32 In Breakup, Mayo Says [Bloomberg] $$$ The Merkley plan to refinance underwater mortgages sounds pretty good [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Outspoken Analyst Kinnucan Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ Man who rescued a 17-pound lobster "felt the nearly 100-year-old crustacean did not deserve to die with its parts soaked in butter. 'If he was 100, he saw World War I, World War II, man on the moon,' he said. 'Being in New England, he even saw the Red Sox win the World Series. So, he didn’t deserve the boiling water.'" [CBS] $$$ Due to recent regulatory requirements, a top bank in Charlotte is looking for a counterparty credit risk manager to be a Basel expert [DBCC] $$$ Libor scandal makes it more costly for bankers to get insured [Reuters] $$$ Europe Aims to Make Rate Manipulation a Criminal Offense [DealBook] $$$ Fund managers to lose securities lending profits [FT] $$$ The Securities and Exchange Commission drew sharp criticism from a federal judge who said they have failed to properly oversee a $55 million investor education fund created by a nearly decade-old settlement with Wall Street banks. The fund had been created as part of a roughly $1.5 billion regulatory accord in 2003 with Citigroup Inc, Goldman Sachs Group Inc, JPMorgan Chase & Co and other banks accused of publishing biased analyst research. U.S. District Judge William Pauley in Manhattan said the SEC has shown a "lack of oversight" and "indifference" toward how a nonprofit organization charged with distributing the money has been managed. ... Pauley pointed as an example to a two-year, $91,500 grant to the Genesee District Library in Flint, Michigan, that appeared to have resulted in just two events, one of which concerned "spending, sharing, and saving" for children ages two to five. "While there may be benefits to starting investor education early, toddlers seem beyond the pale," the judge wrote in an order issued Wednesday. [Reuters] $$$ Mitt Romney would restore 'Anglo-Saxon' relations between Britain and America [Telegraph]

Write-Offs: 08.29.12

$$$ Something something something ECB bond-buying [FT] $$$ Banker Bonuses At Risk As EU Lawmakers Fight Barnier Plans [Bloomberg] $$$ Yelp Surges After Lockup Expires [DealBook] $$$ M&A volumes are down but at least there are a lot of small deals [DealBook] $$$ People prefer potential success to actual success in hiring [HBR] $$$ "At each of its most efficient restaurants, Chipotle averages more than 350 transactions during the lunch hour — about one every 11 seconds." [WSJ, related?] $$$ Prudential is looking for a fixed income senior associate [DBCC] $$$ Greg Fleming won't run E*Trade [Term Sheet] $$$ "The interests of PE firms and their investors do not coincide with the companies that have been taken over, not in the way that Romney and his adherents would have you believe." Matt Taibbi gropes toward a theory of the corporation. [RS] $$$ Bond-Trading Firm Gleacher Said To Seek Buyer [Bloomberg] $$$ Barack Obama does a Reddit AskMeAnything, doesn't really answer anything [Reddit] $$$ Romney Party Yacht Flies Cayman Islands Flag [ABC]