Write-Offs: 05.23.12

$$$ Euro-Zone Leaders Step Up Greece Contingency Plans [WSJ] $$$ Facebook Banks Said To Make $100 Million On Stabilizing Stock [Bloomberg, earlier] $$$ The Modest Worth of Big Banks [NYT] $$$ Cardiff Garcia on Brad DeLong on Walter Bagehot [FTAV] $$$ "While we’re on the subject, we’d be remiss not to note that Mr. Muniyappa wore jeans and an untucked plaid button down, prompting New York Times legal eagle Peter Lattman to poll observers on the last time they’d seen a witness take the stand without a necktie. 'Maybe not at the trials The Times covers,' a wiseacre snapped." [NYO] $$$ Stress! An Energy Source Of The Future? [The Awl] $$$ "Representing the sovereign in these affairs is just more fun. It is a mixture of politics, finance and law, and theater," [sovereign restructuring lawyer Lee Buchheit] said. Buchheit recalled an Asian finance minister - referring to her only as "The Iron Lady" - resting a hand on his arm as tension mounted at 3 a.m. in a marathon meeting and saying: "I know you'll get us through this." [Reuters] $$$ UBS is looking for a credit stress testing analyst in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ China plans brokerage reforms to create its own Goldman Sachs [Reuters] $$$ In defense of private equity: Japan [Noahpinion] $$$ Romney Can’t Explain What He Learned in Business [DI] $$$ ALF Creator Paul Fusco Thinks ‘Timing is Right’ for an ALF Movie [Gawker]
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$$$Euro-Zone Leaders Step Up Greece Contingency Plans [WSJ]

$$$Facebook Banks Said To Make $100 Million On Stabilizing Stock [Bloomberg, earlier]

$$$The Modest Worth of Big Banks [NYT]

$$$Cardiff Garcia on Brad DeLong on Walter Bagehot [FTAV]

$$$ "While we’re on the subject, we’d be remiss not to note that Mr. Muniyappa wore jeans and an untucked plaid button down, prompting New York Times legal eagle Peter Lattman to poll observers on the last time they’d seen a witness take the stand without a necktie. 'Maybe not at the trials The Times covers,' a wiseacre snapped." [NYO]

$$$Stress! An Energy Source Of The Future? [The Awl]

$$$"Representing the sovereign in these affairs is just more fun. It is a mixture of politics, finance and law, and theater," [sovereign restructuring lawyer Lee Buchheit] said. Buchheit recalled an Asian finance minister - referring to her only as "The Iron Lady" - resting a hand on his arm as tension mounted at 3 a.m. in a marathon meeting and saying: "I know you'll get us through this." [Reuters]

$$$ UBS is looking for a credit stress testing analyst in Stamford [DBCC]

$$$China plans brokerage reforms to create its own Goldman Sachs [Reuters]

$$$In defense of private equity: Japan [Noahpinion]

$$$Romney Can’t Explain What He Learned in Business [DI]

$$$ALF Creator Paul Fusco Thinks ‘Timing is Right’ for an ALF Movie [Gawker]

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Write-Offs

Write-Offs: 05.31.12

$$$ Spain reveals €100bn capital flight [FT] $$$ Spain Says It Has Months to Raise Bank-Bailout Funds [WSJ] $$$ Market Braces for What Could Be Another Weak Jobs Report [CNBC] $$$ Goldman’s Cohn Warns Of Poaching Risks From Further Cuts [Bloomberg] $$$ Larry Fink's hedge-fund-manager son Josh isn't having a great time of it [AR-Alpha] $$$ "T. Boone Pickens, who apparently follows Drake on Twitter, sure isn't [impressed], replying 'The first billion is a helluva lot harder' with a mic-drop retweet." [Gizmodo] $$$ RAND Corporation is looking for a business analyst in Santa Monica [DBCC] $$$ Blankfein Expected to Testify at Gupta Trial [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan CIO Swaps Pricing Said to Differ From Bank [Bloomberg] $$$ Felix Salmon is in a fight with a startup that has "has the best part of $300,000 in interest-free financing repayable at a time of its choosing in underwear." [Reuters] $$$ "'They signed off on their messages with LOL — laughing out loud,' Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said. 'Well, there was a person who was laughing out loud. That was Police Officer Michael Rodrigues of the 77th Precinct.'" [NYP] $$$ Try "the Douche Burger, a $666 edible fiscal disaster that piles caviar, lobster & truffles on top of a foie-stuffed, gold-leaf-wrapped Kobe patty, smothers it with Gruyere melted with Champagne steam, and finishes it off with BBQ sauce made using Kopi Luwak coffee that's passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet, explaining why it 'may not taste good, but will make you feel rich as f*ck.'" [Thrillist via Copyranter]

Write-Offs

Write-Offs: 03.06.13

$$$ Holder: Big banks' size complicates prosecution efforts [The Hill] $$$ Stress Tests Seen Boosting U.S. Bank Shareholder Payouts [Bloomberg] $$$ February the strongest month ever for US buybacks [FTAV] $$$ E*Trade Exec Behind Talking Baby Leaves [Deal Journal] $$$ Anti-CNBC ad runs on CNBC [TBN] $$$ "Also, releasing a new version of a customer favorite like 'snackable chicken,' works well, says James O'Reilly, chief marketing officer for Sonic Corp. 'Consumers love to eat chicken in portable forms,' so Sonic introduced a spicy version of its Jumbo Popcorn Chicken for a limited time last month, he says." [WSJ] $$$ Eaton Vance is looking for a junior U.S. taxable fixed income analyst in Boston [DBCC] $$$ Tiger accelerator fund pounces back after early losses [AR] $$$ Football Investors Get 62% in Run Around Players on Transfer Bet [Bloomberg] $$$ Monte Paschi seeks 1.2 billion euros damages over derivatives [Reuters] $$$ Wallace Shawn ‘Fascinated and Shocked’ by Iran’s R.O.U.S Problem [DI] $$$ Tensions brewed, for instance, when she organized a golf-themed 21st-birthday party for a student at University of Virginia—under orders from his mother in Epsom, England. The mother, Lindsay Smart, says her son Henry was initially wary of the party plan, but "as it got nearer, I think he warmed to the idea." He directed her not to do anything "over the top," but otherwise gave little guidance on the event, which was for about 25 people. "We were trying not to treat him like he was 5 years old," Ms. Battani says. [WSJ]

Write-Offs

Write-Offs: 11.06.12

$$$ "UBS AG, Switzerland’s biggest bank, fired its head of credit-default swaps index trading, David Gallers, last week, with no plan to fill the position, according to two people familiar with the matter. Instead, the bank replaced Gallers with computer algorithms that trade using mathematical models." [Bloomberg] $$$ Morgan Stanley should not boost bond trading: analyst [Reuters] $$$ Sheila Bair has a crazy plan for Congressional pay-for-performance [Fortune] $$$ Goldman Research Implies Big Obama Electoral Win [Deal Journal] $$$ “One of the most striking differences between U.S. presidents is how they choose to stock the White House bar.” [TMN via The Hairpin] $$$ A premium bank is looking for an analyst or associate candidate for the Corporate Strategies group within the investment banking division in New York[DBCC] $$$ Recycled legal claims make banks look like victims [Breakingviews] $$$ Citigroup Discloses Libor Inquiry in Singapore [WSJ] $$$ “Some genius paired 50 Cent's In Da Club with a video put out by the Jehovah's Witnesses to encourage deaf people not to masturbate” [Kottke] $$$ Defendant In Murder Trial Who Wanted To Get Back To His Cell In Time For Monday Night Football: “I Did it, So What?” [Deadspin]

Write-Offs

Write-Offs: 09.28.12

$$$ Spain Banks Have $76 Billion Capital Deficit in Stress Test [Bloomberg] $$$ How Bernanke Pulled the Fed His Way [WSJ] $$$ The economics of video games [Wonkblog] $$$ Scaramucci Picking Singapore Shows City as Hot Spot [Bloomberg] $$$ "SocGen’s Alberts concedes that his writing can be 'pretty insane' and his market timing 'unerringly inaccurate.'" CNBC's headline is "Bernanke’s ‘Ruinous’ QE Will Lead to Rapid Inflation: SocGen’s Albert Edwards" [CNBC] $$$ 'Cocaine For Snowblindness': What Polar Explorers Packed For First Aid [NPR] $$$ AIG is looking for a credit analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ Mortgage lending should provide a tailwind to bank earnings [Reuters] $$$ Ex-analyst at unit of Cohen's SAC Capital admits insider trading [Reuters] $$$ Global regulators follow UK’s Libor lead [FT] $$$ What Your Beer Says About Your Politics [Hotline] $$$ From King’s Daughter to Lowly Fishmonger: Lisa Marie Presley Is Selling Fish and Chips out of the Back of a Van [Gawker]

Write-Offs

Write-Offs: 03.15.12

$$$ AIG Said to Boost U.S. TARP Recovery to 80% With Payment [Bloomberg] $$$ Trio of Deals Show IPO Strength [WSJ] $$$ Scrap Over Easing IPO Rules [WSJ] $$$ "The biggest recent change on Wall Street has been semantic, not substantive. The word 'client' has become Orwellian doublespeak. Goldman’s leaders talk uniformly about the importance of serving clients, but the firm’s salespeople know who is a client and who is a mere a counterparty." Frank Partnoy says sensible things about Muppetgate [FT] $$$ Fruit flies who strike out with the lady fruit flies drink to forget their troubles [NYT] $$$ Banks hike fees, cut costs to boost profits [Reuters] $$$ Glencore poised for joint bid for Viterra [FT] $$$ The New York Times paid executives multimillion dollar bonuses for achieving returns that were a fraction of its cost of capital, so that's kind of awkward [BreakingViews, via William Wright] $$$ Would you like some hyperbolic metaphors with your intimations of criminality? Enjoy! [Rolling Stone] $$$ "The Real Question re Goldman: Why doesn't Goldman have its employees sign non-disclosure agreements?" I know, right? [Credit Slips]

Write-Offs

Write-Offs: 04.26.12

$$$ Goldman Banker Probed for Alleged Leaks to Galleon [WSJ] $$$ S&P cuts Spain ratings two notches to BBB-plus [Reuters] $$$ "AIG May Not Be As Healthy As It Looks" [Bloomberg] $$$ The Telus proxy fight is amazing [DealBook] $$$ Legalizing Spousal Necrophilia in Egypt, but only for the first six hours [Volokh Conspiracy] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a VP of Corporate Tax in Chicago - maybe you? [DBCC] $$$ Relax, America, the Bacon Crisis Has Passed [CNBC] $$$ CEO pay is inflated by faulty comp sets [Bloomberg] $$$ A strange data point on flows vs. inventories [FTAV] $$$ Bank bailouts, hedge funds, and foreign sovereign immunity [Economist] $$$ "We do not accept claims for elbow licking." [The Hairpin] $$$ Here is a baby anteater named Corndog hugging a stuffed animal [ZooBorns]

Write-Offs

Write-Offs: 11.12.12

$$$ S&P, Fitch face trial over Italy downgrades [Reuters] $$$ Kodak Reaches Financing Deal With Bondholders [WSJ] $$$ "Investors in the US are marking down the prices of securities backed by mortgages written before the financial crisis, anticipating that the re-election of President Barack Obama presages a new effort to help distressed borrowers refinance their loans." [FT] $$$ Jon Ronson: "I had Nostradamus-like sense that things were going to go wrong in the credit industry. And I became obsessed with trying to tell that story. ... But I couldn't do it. And the reason was because I kept on meeting people who worked in the credit industry and they were really boring. I couldn't make them light up the page. And, as I said in The Psychopath Test, if you want to get away with wielding true malevolent power, be boring." [The Awl] $$$ "Armed with camcorders and Velcro, a group of activists hope to prove that mountain lions call Connecticut home despite assurances by the state that the big cats are out-of-towners." [Stamford Advocate] $$$ Consider buying a signed print of Geoffrey Raymond's Ina Drew painting [Annotated Paintings] $$$ LLOYD! [Sandy Sucks] $$$ A major insurance company is looking for quants to cover fixed income products, fixed income derivatives and structured products in New York [DBCC] $$$ Coal CEO Prays For Deliverance from Obama, Fires Workers [Slate] $$$ Exchanges Route Away From NYSE After Trading Glitch [WSJ] $$$ AIG keen to sell bank, expand in mortgages: CEO [Reuters] $$$ Baby Boomers Blunt Fed Easing While Saving for Retirement [Bloomberg] $$$ Businessweek criticized for poll on hot female b-school students [TBN] $$$ Mary-Kate Olsen Shares PDA with Older Boyfriend Olivier Sarkozy [toofab]

News

Write-Offs: 09.25.12

$$$ Eurozone deal over bank bailout in doubt [FT] $$$ U.K. Bankers Group to Stop Overseeing Libor [WSJ] $$$ The Smith Barney Name Still Lives (Sort of) [Deal Journal] $$$ Mason Capital may lose money on its delightful Telus trade [DealBook] $$$ Actually, business and political leaders aren't that stressed [LAT] $$$ “I’ve had to sit here all night staring at a whale,” [Jes] Staley said last night, a few hours into a gala for the NYU Langone Medical Center’s Hospital for Joint Diseases and Center for Musculoskeletal Care. He was accepting an award for corporate leadership. Staley then suggested the whale could be replaced with the squid in the room, which, he clarified afterward, meant Goldman Sachs Group Inc., represented by his friend Gary D. Cohn, chairman of the dinner and the hospital’s advisory board. Rolling Stone writer Matt Taibbi called Goldman a “vampire squid.” All this took place about 20 feet from a diorama depicting a battle between a sperm whale and a giant squid. Which creature will triumph is unclear, though squid have been found in whales’ stomachs. [Bloomberg] $$$ Macquarie's Credit Solutions Group, a distressed and special situations financing group, is looking for a 2nd or 3rd-year analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ Or just be an event coordinator for Breaking Media [Fashionista] $$$ Uber Bear Sees S&P at 800...Just Not Yet [CNBC!] $$$ Eighth Grader Says He Vandalized Congressman’s Office [NYT] $$$ Mitt Romney Stops Supporters from Chanting ‘Ryan’ to Ensure They Say His Name Too [Gawker] $$$ Police launched investigation into the 'suspicious' moon [Telegraph]