Write-Offs: 05.25.12

$$$ Spain to inject up to €19bn into Bankia [FT] $$$ New Democracy, Syriza Tied In Greek Race For First, Poll Says [Bloomberg] $$$ "Banks get to play a fun game every quarter that could be called Guess the Value of Your Assets! JPMorgan Chase plays it more than its peers." [DealBook] $$$ "This study proposes a novel framework for capital regulation that addresses banks’ incentives to take on excessive risk and leverage. The framework consists of a special capital account in addition to a core capital requirement. The special account would accrue to a bank’s shareholders as long as the bank is solvent, but would pass to the bank’s regulators — rather than its creditors — if the bank fails." [FRBNY] $$$ "Barry also had a knack for interceptions. When a joint was making the rounds, he often elbowed his way in, out of turn, shouted "Intercepted!," and took an extra hit. No one seemed to mind." [DI] $$$ That’s it for us today. We’re off Monday for the holiday, enjoy the long weekend and see you on Tuesday! $$$ Fortress Investment Group is looking for a treasury analyst in San Francisco [DBCC] $$$ Marc Faber: 100% Chance of Global Recession [CNBC!] $$$ Prosecutors gain early edge in Raj Gupta trial [Breakingviews] $$$ Despite Doubts, Lehman Charges Still Possible [DealBook] $$$ "A penguin on the run from a Tokyo aquarium since early March was adjusting to life back on the inside yesterday after being recaptured on a riverbank. The Humboldt penguin, one of 135 kept at Tokyo Sea Life Park, was recaptured after 82 days of freedom that had even seen it outwit Japan’s well-resourced coast guard. ... The hunt for the bird, which the aquarium said did not have a name, began in early March after it was spotted bathing in a river that runs into Tokyo Bay. Keepers believe the creature made its break for freedom after being startled into climbing over a rock twice its size." [AFP]
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$$$Spain to inject up to €19bn into Bankia [FT]

$$$New Democracy, Syriza Tied In Greek Race For First, Poll Says [Bloomberg]

$$$ "Banks get to play a fun game every quarter that could be called Guess the Value of Your Assets! JPMorgan Chase plays it more than its peers." [DealBook]

$$$ "This study proposes a novel framework for capital regulation that addresses banks’ incentives to take on excessive risk and leverage. The framework consists of a special capital account in addition to a core capital requirement. The special account would accrue to a bank’s shareholders as long as the bank is solvent, but would pass to the bank’s regulators — rather than its creditors — if the bank fails." [FRBNY]

$$$ "Barry also had a knack for interceptions. When a joint was making the rounds, he often elbowed his way in, out of turn, shouted "Intercepted!," and took an extra hit. No one seemed to mind." [DI]

$$$ That’s it for us today. We’re off Monday for the holiday, enjoy the long weekend and see you on Tuesday!

$$$ Fortress Investment Group is looking for a treasury analyst in San Francisco [DBCC]

$$$Marc Faber: 100% Chance of Global Recession [CNBC!]

$$$Prosecutors gain early edge in Raj Gupta trial [Breakingviews]

$$$Despite Doubts, Lehman Charges Still Possible [DealBook]

$$$ "A penguin on the run from a Tokyo aquarium since early March was adjusting to life back on the inside yesterday after being recaptured on a riverbank. The Humboldt penguin, one of 135 kept at Tokyo Sea Life Park, was recaptured after 82 days of freedom that had even seen it outwit Japan’s well-resourced coast guard. ... The hunt for the bird, which the aquarium said did not have a name, began in early March after it was spotted bathing in a river that runs into Tokyo Bay. Keepers believe the creature made its break for freedom after being startled into climbing over a rock twice its size." [AFP]

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Write-Offs: 03.07.13

$$$ Goldman to Stagger Managing Director Class Starting After 2013 [Deal Journal] $$$ "Hedge fund billionaire John Paulson's Gold Fund tumbled 18 percent last month when gold and gold mining stocks slid further ..." [Reuters] $$$ Dow Average Rises to Record as Jobless Claims Decline [Bloomberg] $$$ ECB sticks to its monetary guns [FT] $$$ Facebook Unveils Sweeping Changes to News Feed [WSJ] $$$ Columbia students have been stealing Nutella [NYT] $$$ A company is looking for a portfolio manager to join a commercial real estate team in New York [DBCC] $$$ For mortgage masters, 2013 is a bond-picker's market [Reuters] $$$ Inconsistent Risk Assessment by Banks Isn't That Bad [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Want a Secure Retirement? Move to Slovenia [NBC] $$$ "The US Government must have stolen half of a glass of water." Take The Zero-Hedge Test [Cassandra Does Tokyo] $$$ Person laughs at own joke [BI]

Write-Offs: 03.11.13

$$$ You can still drink big sodas [NYP] $$$ Bank compensation up in 2012 despite cutback efforts [Reuters] $$$ Morgan Stanley Set to Name Kaminsky Brokerage Vice Chair [FBN] $$$ Mary Schapiro Is Nominated to G.E. Board [DealBook] $$$ The life cycle of the investment banker [TED] $$$ City high-flier 'was called crazy Miss Cokehead by work bullies after she blew whistle on insider dealing' [DM] $$$ Brookfield Investment Management is looking for a global infrastructure securities analyst in Chicago [DBCC] $$$ Europe trading tax would kill repo market -industry official [Reuters] $$$ SAC Capital Manager’s Tipper Deserves Prison, U.S. Says [Bloomberg] $$$ "Long term shareholders are well served by activism" [Aswath Damodaran] $$$ "Callan hardly needs advice from me but I'll offer it anyway. She may want to consider that her lack of satisfaction with her life's direction is not a product of the choices she made. Instead, her choices may have been a product of her lack of satisfaction. In my experience, the kind of people who can rise to the level she did at a relatively early age tend to be filling a hole in their psyche, an indistinguishable yearning for something more that is experienced as a kind of pain." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Corey Robin went to school with Bill[y] Ackman [Corey Robin]

Write-Offs: 05.22.12

$$$ EXCLUSIVE: Here's The Inside Story Of What Happened On The Facebook IPO [BI / Henry Blodget] $$$ "A senior Nasdaq Stock Market official told customers Tuesday afternoon that it would have pulled the plug on Facebook Inc.'s initial public offering had it known the full extent of the technical problems that plagued its systems." [WSJ] $$$ Occupy Wall Street Alternative Banking Group Files Amicus Brief on Side of Judge Rakoff in SEC v. Citigroup; the brief is very clever [NC] $$$ A former high frequency trader proposes eliminating the subpenny rule [Chris Stucchio] $$$ Auction of Reagan's Blood Sparks Outrage [Reuters] $$$ Prudential Capital is looking for an investment associate in Chicago/Minneapolis [DBCC] $$$ At Hearing, Regulators Discuss JPMorgan Investigation [DealBook] $$$ Zuckerberg’s Property Status, Post-Marriage [NYT] $$$ Disclosure by Short-Sellers Would Improve Market Clarity [DealBook / Steven Davidoff] $$$ "A Silicon Valley tech executive faces charges after authorities say he put fake bar codes on hundreds of Lego sets at various Target stores so he could buy the toys at steeply discounted prices, then sell them online for thousands of dollars in profits." [AP]

Write-Offs: 03.06.13

$$$ Holder: Big banks' size complicates prosecution efforts [The Hill] $$$ Stress Tests Seen Boosting U.S. Bank Shareholder Payouts [Bloomberg] $$$ February the strongest month ever for US buybacks [FTAV] $$$ E*Trade Exec Behind Talking Baby Leaves [Deal Journal] $$$ Anti-CNBC ad runs on CNBC [TBN] $$$ "Also, releasing a new version of a customer favorite like 'snackable chicken,' works well, says James O'Reilly, chief marketing officer for Sonic Corp. 'Consumers love to eat chicken in portable forms,' so Sonic introduced a spicy version of its Jumbo Popcorn Chicken for a limited time last month, he says." [WSJ] $$$ Eaton Vance is looking for a junior U.S. taxable fixed income analyst in Boston [DBCC] $$$ Tiger accelerator fund pounces back after early losses [AR] $$$ Football Investors Get 62% in Run Around Players on Transfer Bet [Bloomberg] $$$ Monte Paschi seeks 1.2 billion euros damages over derivatives [Reuters] $$$ Wallace Shawn ‘Fascinated and Shocked’ by Iran’s R.O.U.S Problem [DI] $$$ Tensions brewed, for instance, when she organized a golf-themed 21st-birthday party for a student at University of Virginia—under orders from his mother in Epsom, England. The mother, Lindsay Smart, says her son Henry was initially wary of the party plan, but "as it got nearer, I think he warmed to the idea." He directed her not to do anything "over the top," but otherwise gave little guidance on the event, which was for about 25 people. "We were trying not to treat him like he was 5 years old," Ms. Battani says. [WSJ]

Write-Offs: 04.20.12

$$$ Hedge funds would prefer it if banks would warehouse more tail risk and charge less for it [DealBook, earlier] $$$ But corporate debt issuers don't have much to complain about re: Volcker [DealBook, earlier] $$$ IMF secures $430bn to boost firepower [FT] $$$ How Much Money You Need To Realistically Recreate The Scrooge McDuck ‘Gold Coin Swim’ [The Billfold, alternate view, neither is persuasive] $$$ How would you like to be a high frequency trading quant in Chicago? [DBCC] $$$ Investigators said the 18-, 20- and 21-year-old suspects, whose names weren't released, broke into the Sea World in Main Beach on Queensland's Gold Coast after it closed Saturday, swam in the dolphin enclosure and made off with Dirk, a 7-year-old fairy penguin, The Australian Eye reported Friday. Police said the penguin was recovered, tired but unharmed, after a couple saw him in a shallow estuary Sunday. ... [T]he penguin appeared to have been chased out of the water by an animal that may have been a shark and was then chased on land by a dog. [UPI] $$$ France: Where Freemasons Are Still Feared [BW] $$$ But why would you fire even one person by email? [BW] $$$ Rapper 50 Cent converted into Malaysian currency [Language Log] $$$ Romney Says He’s Never Eaten Anything Unusual [DI] $$$ Biz Markie Is an ‘Avid’ Barbie Collector, Possible Hoarder [Gawker] $$$ John Carney met a girl who can match spreadsheet guy at color-coding; "dark orange means, in her words, 'obviously we b**ged.'" [NetNet, earlier]

Write-Offs: 03.20.13

$$$ Fed Maintains $85 Billion Pace of Monthly Asset Purchases [Bloomberg] $$$ Lenders Balk at New Cyprus Aid Plan [WSJ] $$$ Medvedev lambasts EU over Cyprus levy [FT] $$$ "A redesigned package may well go “the full Iceland”; look after the locals and shaft the foreigners." [Paweł Morski] $$$ SAC Capital up 4 percent this year as probe continues [Reuters] $$$ "So in the battle of the scumbags, who should we be rooting for? It's kind of like the Russians fighting the Germans during World War II because you want them both to lose." - Charlie Gasparino on Bill Ackman and Carl Icahn [HuffPo] $$$ "Nine top Barclays executives including Chief Executive Antony Jenkins and investment banking head Rich Ricci received £40.3 million ($60.8 million) in shares Wednesday from earlier-year incentive plans, a month after the bank said it would take a stricter line on pay." [WSJ] $$$ Bondholders withdraw claim Penney was in default on bond terms [Reuters] $$$ Synthetic CDOs Making Comeback as Yields Juiced [Bloomberg] $$$ UK-based cannabinoid therapeutics developer GW Pharmaceuticals files for US IPO [Renaissance Capital] $$$ "America's corporate boards could use a Martin Lipton 2.0." [Breakingviews] $$$ Hamptons Landlords Suing Over Reality-Show Semen Stains [DI]

Write-Offs: 06.18.12

$$$ Clogged Credit Weighs on Fed Policy Makers [WSJ] $$$ Ex-Expert Network Consultant Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ TCI is trying to guilt the FSA into forcing Lloyds to redeem TCI's holdings of Lloyds contingent capital bonds at above-market prices [FT] $$$ Homeowner Aid Boosts Big Banks [WSJ] $$$ World's population is 17 million tons overweight [MSNBC] $$$ Do you have plans on July 17? Do you fancy yourself a poker player? A really good poker player? Do you think you could beat David Einhorn, even if he’s working the table like it's Lehman Brothers circa 2007/2008? Do you think it would not be so awkward that the two of you could then enjoy a meal together and talk shop after which he picks up the tab? If David's not your thing, do you think you could envision yourself in the same scenario but with Bill Ackman? If you answered yes to most of the above and also consider yourself a fan of humanity, helping others and all that jazz, you should most definitely clear your schedule next Wednesday and sign up for a World Poker Tournament benefiting the Rewarding Achievement (REACH) program, which was co-founded by Bill Ackman and Whitney Tilson and gives inner-city high school students academic support and scholarships for passing AP exams. The event is taking place at Gotham Hall in New York and Einhorn (your competition) will be playing, as will Ackman and Tilson. Prizes for winners include the aforementioned meal (a lunch), with Bill, David or Seth Klarman, five nights at a “world-class private beach home in Lamu, Kenya,” a private poker lesson with 2011 WSOP bracelet winner and 2011 WPT Player of the Year, Andy Frankenberger and more. Alternatively, if you’re not one for cards but still want to help kids, you can also just register for the cocktail hour. $$$ Would you be interested in a job as a credit team director at a distressed-focused private equity firm in New York? What if I told you it's at Patriarch Partners? [DBCC, also available] $$$ Likelihood of Grexit Still 50-75%: Citi [CNBC] $$$ Alvarez Says Fed Hasn’t Seen Other JPMorgan Risk Problems [Bloomberg] $$$ Millionaire Parents Say Their Kids Are Unfit to Inherit [CNBC] $$$ New Jersey Man Allegedly Calls 911 From His Pillow Fort, Demands To Speak To Tim Tebow [DeadSpin]

Write-Offs: 06.07.12

$$$ Bernanke Cites Risks, but Doesn't Signal Action [WSJ] $$$ Federal Reserve set to unveil capital proposals [FT] $$$ Ackman, Loeb, other hedge funds lose in May [Reuters] $$$ Ford Makes the Grade, Joins Borrowing Spree [WSJ] $$$ David Takes On The Porn-Addicted Goliath: Egan-Jones Countersues The SEC; the complaint is surprisingly persuasive [ZH] $$$ Mets To Sell Reprinted Tickets From Santana No-Hitter For $50 [Bloomberg] $$$ A major financial advisor is looking for a VP specializing in financial institutions to join its debt research team [DBCC] $$$ The rise and fall of European banking [FTAV] $$$ Insider trading probe swings from bankers to ballplayers [Reuters] $$$ Election Forecast: Obama Begins With Tenuous Advantage [FiveThirtyEight] $$$ How the internet killed porn [Guardian via MR] $$$ Most Work Emails Not Important [Mashable]