Write-Offs: 05.31.12

$$$ Spain reveals €100bn capital flight [FT] $$$ Spain Says It Has Months to Raise Bank-Bailout Funds [WSJ] $$$ Market Braces for What Could Be Another Weak Jobs Report [CNBC] $$$ Goldman’s Cohn Warns Of Poaching Risks From Further Cuts [Bloomberg] $$$ Larry Fink's hedge-fund-manager son Josh isn't having a great time of it [AR-Alpha] $$$ "T. Boone Pickens, who apparently follows Drake on Twitter, sure isn't [impressed], replying 'The first billion is a helluva lot harder' with a mic-drop retweet." [Gizmodo] $$$ RAND Corporation is looking for a business analyst in Santa Monica [DBCC] $$$ Blankfein Expected to Testify at Gupta Trial [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan CIO Swaps Pricing Said to Differ From Bank [Bloomberg] $$$ Felix Salmon is in a fight with a startup that has "has the best part of $300,000 in interest-free financing repayable at a time of its choosing in underwear." [Reuters] $$$ "'They signed off on their messages with LOL — laughing out loud,' Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said. 'Well, there was a person who was laughing out loud. That was Police Officer Michael Rodrigues of the 77th Precinct.'" [NYP] $$$ Try "the Douche Burger, a $666 edible fiscal disaster that piles caviar, lobster & truffles on top of a foie-stuffed, gold-leaf-wrapped Kobe patty, smothers it with Gruyere melted with Champagne steam, and finishes it off with BBQ sauce made using Kopi Luwak coffee that's passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet, explaining why it 'may not taste good, but will make you feel rich as f*ck.'" [Thrillist via Copyranter]
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$$$Spain reveals €100bn capital flight [FT]

$$$Spain Says It Has Months to Raise Bank-Bailout Funds [WSJ]

$$$Market Braces for What Could Be Another Weak Jobs Report [CNBC]

$$$Goldman’s Cohn Warns Of Poaching Risks From Further Cuts [Bloomberg]

$$$ Larry Fink's hedge-fund-manager son Josh isn't having a great time of it [AR-Alpha]

$$$ "T. Boone Pickens, who apparently follows Drake on Twitter, sure isn't [impressed], replying 'The first billion is a helluva lot harder' with a mic-drop retweet." [Gizmodo]

$$$ RAND Corporation is looking for a business analyst in Santa Monica [DBCC]

$$$Blankfein Expected to Testify at Gupta Trial [WSJ]

$$$JPMorgan CIO Swaps Pricing Said to Differ From Bank [Bloomberg]

$$$ Felix Salmon is in a fight with a startup that has "has the best part of $300,000 in interest-free financing repayable at a time of its choosing in underwear." [Reuters]

$$$ "'They signed off on their messages with LOL — laughing out loud,' Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said. 'Well, there was a person who was laughing out loud. That was Police Officer Michael Rodrigues of the 77th Precinct.'" [NYP]

$$$ Try "the Douche Burger, a $666 edible fiscal disaster that piles caviar, lobster & truffles on top of a foie-stuffed, gold-leaf-wrapped Kobe patty, smothers it with Gruyere melted with Champagne steam, and finishes it off with BBQ sauce made using Kopi Luwak coffee that's passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet, explaining why it 'may not taste good, but will make you feel rich as f*ck.'" [Thrillist via Copyranter]

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Write-Offs: 12.14.12

$$$ Fed Proposes Broad Guidelines for Foreign Banks [WSJ] $$$ UBS Libor Pact Said to Include Charges Against Bankers [Bloomberg] $$$ SEC has examined Bank of America mortgage repurchases [Reuters] $$$ China investors grow angry at mud-slinging [FT] $$$ VIDEO: "Big Write-Offs Will Inspire You," Top AIG Exec Raps About Bailout [MoJo] $$$ Best Buy Gives Founder More Time to Make a Bid [DealBook] $$$ Apple Falls as UBS Projects Growth Slowdown [Bloomberg] $$$ This is a story about conversion-free contingent convertible notes [Euromoney] $$$ This is a story about an ad hoc group of sewer warrant holders [Bloomberg] $$$ "There's also the fear that admissions officers could develop Sandy fatigue. 'That's the risk, that everyone from New Jersey or New York is going to be writing about Sandy,' said Nicole Oringer, a private admissions counselor." [WSJ]

Write-Offs: 01.14.13

$$$ Dell Shares Surge After Report of Possible Buyout [DealBook] $$$ Herbalife Rises to Highest Price Since Ackman Pyramid Allegation [Bloomberg] $$$ Guy prefers startups to banking [Pando Daily] $$$ Obama Said to Consider Morgan Stanley’s Porat at Treasury [Bloomberg] $$$ Nudists Seek Corporate Sponsor Looking for Greater Exposure [WSJ] $$$ A multi family office is looking for a senior private banker to cover LatAm markets or US onshore clients from Miami [DBCC] $$$ Skowron Fights Bank $$$ "Bank robbers have made off with an unknown amount of loot after digging a 100-foot tunnel into a Berlin bank from a nearby parking garage. To get into the building, they broke through two concrete walls. Police have no leads." [Der Spiegel] $$$ The Wall Street Journal Has Bedbugs [DI] $$$ Holy Crap, These Dogs Interrupting A Soccer Match Are Adorable [Deadspin]

Write-Offs: 03.07.13

$$$ Goldman to Stagger Managing Director Class Starting After 2013 [Deal Journal] $$$ "Hedge fund billionaire John Paulson's Gold Fund tumbled 18 percent last month when gold and gold mining stocks slid further ..." [Reuters] $$$ Dow Average Rises to Record as Jobless Claims Decline [Bloomberg] $$$ ECB sticks to its monetary guns [FT] $$$ Facebook Unveils Sweeping Changes to News Feed [WSJ] $$$ Columbia students have been stealing Nutella [NYT] $$$ A company is looking for a portfolio manager to join a commercial real estate team in New York [DBCC] $$$ For mortgage masters, 2013 is a bond-picker's market [Reuters] $$$ Inconsistent Risk Assessment by Banks Isn't That Bad [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Want a Secure Retirement? Move to Slovenia [NBC] $$$ "The US Government must have stolen half of a glass of water." Take The Zero-Hedge Test [Cassandra Does Tokyo] $$$ Person laughs at own joke [BI]

Write-Offs: 01.04.13

$$$ Hedge fund chief Einhorn disappoints, Loeb has big 2012 [Reuters] $$$ JPMorgan Faces Sanction for Withholding Madoff Documents [Bloomberg] $$$ Ackman's Herbalife thesis: someone from the government will help poor people and billionaire hedge fund managers ... [Bronte Capital] $$$ Connections are key for the careers of male Wall Street analysts. For females, it’s education and forecast accuracy [AEI] $$$ Tom Wolfe: "Up until 2006 a spirit of manly daring had pervaded Wall Street’s investment bankers" but apparently not any more [Newsweek] $$$ ‘Teens’ Caught Egging Suburban Home Turn Out to Be Off-Duty Police Officers [Gawker] $$$ Mosaic Financial Markets is looking for a capital markets business analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ You should buy a lot of Turkish stocks because they're guaranteed to go up! [Bloomberg, FTAV] $$$ New rule could turn U.S. hedge funds into informers on fraud [Reuters] $$$ Cerberus Close to Supervalu Deal [WSJ] $$$ How the World Has Changed [Alea] $$$ Historical Echoes: The Origins of the Piggy Bank [NY Fed] $$$ Finally, the Accessory We’ve Been Waiting For: A Wearable Cat Tail That Wags In Response to Your Heartbeat [Fashionista]

Write-Offs: 08.31.12

$$$ "Bernanke Signals Readiness to Do More" [WSJ] $$$ "Judgment Days Arrive for Euro Crisis" [WSJ] $$$ Spain To Recapitalize Bankia After 4.45 Billion-Euro Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ Nomura’s Failed Global Ambitions [DealBook] $$$ Quebec Whodunit: 1/4 of Province’s Syrup Reserves Go Missing [WSJ] $$$ That’s it for us today. We’re off Monday for the holiday, enjoy the long weekend and see you on Tuesday! $$$ A global investment bank is looking for an experienced metals options trader in New York [DBCC] $$$ Facebook hits new low after price target cuts [Reuters] $$$ Here is some hedge fund Weltschmerz [FT] $$$ Here is a really depressing story about student loans [NYT] $$$ Some people still don't like PowerPoint [BBW] $$$ "In general, rabbits preferred the higher resolution of the MacBook, whereas squirrels favored the larger screen of the Toshiba. Chipmunks were too hyperactive to linger around either device, even though I sprinkled the keyboards liberally with birdseed, which chipmunks seem to enjoy far more than birds do. I do not recommend this practice ..." [NYT]

Write-Offs: 06.11.12

$$$ Euro zone discussed capital controls if Greek exits euro [Reuters] $$$ Spain's Bailout Boost Quickly Turns to Rout [WSJ] $$$ Fed Says U.S. Wealth Fell 38.8% In 2007-2010 On Housing [Bloomberg] $$$ Bankers Complain of Tension With Fed Over Pay Restrictions [Real Time Economics] $$$ David Cameron left his 8-year-old daughter alone in a pub [AP] $$$ The world's oldest animal marriage looks set to have turtley ended after an incredible 115 years when the two Giant Turtles at an Austrian zoo refused to share their cage anymore. Zoo management have called in animal experts to try and give the pair counselling - feeding them romantic good mood food and trying to get them to join in joint games - but so far without effect. Zoo boss Helga Happ said: "We get the feeling they can't stand the sight of each other anymore." Bibi and Poldi have been a pair since before anyone alive today can remember - they have been together at the Austrian zoo in Klagenfurt for 36 years and before that they lived at Basel zoo in Switzerland. Zoo boss Helga added: "They are both 115 years old - they have been together since they were young and grew up together, eventually becoming a pair. But for no reason that anyone can discover they seem to have fallen out, they just can't stand each other." [Austrian Times] $$$ Intrepid Investment Bankers LLC is looking for an M&A vice president in LA [DBCC] $$$ U.S. high court to hear Amgen securities lawsuit case [Reuters] $$$ A stupid CNBC chart [Felix Salmon] $$$ A stupid Bloomberg headline [Strange Bloomberg Headlines] $$$ A yacht named the Blind Date exploded and sank in the Atlantic Ocean off Sandy Hook, New Jersey [nj.com] $$$ Jerry Sandusky's lawyer tells a jury: "You saw those 8 photos, cute kids" [Penn Live via Deadspin]

Write-Offs: 12.18.12

$$$ Third Point made $500mm on Greek bonds [FT] $$$ Knight Board Votes to Pursue Getco Deal [WSJ] $$$ Jefferies results beat estimates on higher fixed-income revenue [Reuters] $$$ In 2008, Tim Geithner knew that Libor was being manipulated for profit as well as for face-saving [FT] $$$ Instagram changed its mind on the policy that everyone got all mad over [Instagram, CNET] $$$ Portrait of Kevin Bacon Made Out of Bacon [Laughing Squid via ATK] $$$ Fortigent is looking for a chief investment officer in Rockville, Maryland [DBCC] $$$ Cerberus Weighed Gun Maker's Fate on Friday [WSJ] $$$ AmEx’s Chenault Said to Be Discussed for Treasury Post [Bloomberg] $$$ NYSE exec says exchanges moving closer to "kill switch" [Reuters] $$$ Here you can read about Nassim Taleb getting angry if you'd like [Chronicle of Higher Ed] $$$ Police make arrest in massive Quebec maple syrup heist [Globe & Mail]

Write-Offs: 06.08.12

$$$ Europe Considers a Spanish Bank Rescue [Bloomberg] $$$ S&P says U.S. to avoid "fiscal cliff", risks remain [Reuters] $$$ "The fact is that if UBS ended up losing anywhere close to $350 million on Facebook stock, it has no business being in the equity capital markets at all." [Felix Salmon] $$$ Groupon is Now Giving Groupons ... for Groupon [NYO] $$$ Who cheats more, bankers or politicians? Disappointingly, bankers, according to a survey conducted in bars [Wonkblog] $$$ John Carney takes the pulse of Wall Streeters "waiting for a fourth martini at a once-fashionable midtown bar," "at a tavern along a cobble-stoned street in the financial district," "[a]t Stone Rose in the Time Warner center" and "having a drink with a colleague at Emmett O’Lunney’s" [NetNet] $$$ Are you a credit risk specialist? Any interest in analyzing credit risk for the National Rural Utilities Cooperative Finance Corporation in Dulles, VA? [DBCC] $$$ Citi Won't Request Stock Buyback This Year [WSJ] $$$ Gupta ‘Highly Likely’ to Take the Stand, Lawyer Says [WSJ Law Blog] $$$ After reading a passage about the prospect of Goldman buying a bank, Mr. Naftalis asked the chief executive if he had read the portion correctly. “Yes,” replied a smiling Mr. Blankfein, who glanced from the jury to the judge. “You read it well.” Judge Jed Rakoff, prone to making jokes during trial himself, belted out a laugh, and the courtroom followed. [DealBook] $$$ This year’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest is expected to be even more heated than usual now that ESPN, which televises the July 4 competition, has pushed the start time later to accommodate the sports network’s first-ever coverage of Wimbledon. ... Major League Eating president George Shea said he expects the later 3 p.m. start time to also drive up ratings for the glutton-fest, which attracted 1.9 million live viewers last year. But he admits the mid-afternoon heat “should make it much more difficult” for the dog devourers to break Joey Chestnut’s 2009 world record of 68 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes. “Heat causes the buns to crisp up more and the dogs to expand, making a run at the record nearly impossible,” said professional eater and perennial Nathan’s contestant Jason “Crazy Legs” Conti. [NYP] $$$ Vampire High Priest Loses Religious Civil Rights Case [ATL]