Bonus Watch '12: First Year Bank Robbers

Bonus expectations got ya down? Thinking about robbing a bank? You might want to reconsider. Not because it could be dangerous or you might go to jail or your disguise sucks but because, statistically speaking, it's not really worth your time. In terms of work put in you'd be much better off giving out hand jobs in the alley between 200 West and Shake Shack. In what’s billed as the first cost-benefit analysis of such crimes, three economists note that Britain saw 106 attempted or successful robberies of 10,500 branch banks in 2007. The average haul was $31,600, including the one-third of attempts that came up empty. The average “successful” heist landed about $46,600 — but about 20% of those successes were later tarnished, to say the least, when the raiders were arrested. Each incident involved an average of 1.6 people, resulting in a per-person take of $19,750: a mere half-years’ worth of wages for the average Britisher. (In the U.S., the authors say, the average total bank-robbery take, per incident, is even smaller, just over $4,000.) Think a half-year’s salary isn’t bad for one day’s work, plus a little planning? A “career” bank robber would more likely than not be arrested after only four attempts...“The return on an average bank robbery is, frankly, rubbish,” they write. Bank Robbery Doesn't Pay (Much) [Ideas Market/WSJ]
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Bonus expectations got ya down? Thinking about robbing a bank? You might want to reconsider. Not because it could be dangerous or you might go to jail or your disguise sucks but because, statistically speaking, it's not really worth your time. In terms of work put in you'd be much better off giving out hand jobs in the abandoned UBS building or the alley between 200 West and Shake Shack.

In what’s billed as the first cost-benefit analysis of such crimes, three economists note that Britain saw 106 attempted or successful robberies of 10,500 branch banks in 2007. The average haul was $31,600, including the one-third of attempts that came up empty. The average “successful” heist landed about $46,600 — but about 20% of those successes were later tarnished, to say the least, when the raiders were arrested. Each incident involved an average of 1.6 people, resulting in a per-person take of $19,750: a mere half-years’ worth of wages for the average Britisher. (In the U.S., the authors say, the average total bank-robbery take, per incident, is even smaller, just over $4,000.) Think a half-year’s salary isn’t bad for one day’s work, plus a little planning? A “career” bank robber would more likely than not be arrested after only four attempts...“The return on an average bank robbery is, frankly, rubbish,” they write.

Just something to think about.

Bank Robbery Doesn't Pay (Much) [Ideas Market/WSJ]

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Layoffs Watch '12: Deutsche Bank

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Layoffs/Bonus Watch '12/13: Morgan Stanley

Back in January, Morgan Stanley CEO James Gorman sent a simple messages to his employees, who had been grumbling about their pay: STFU or GTFO. "You're naive, read the newspaper, No.1," Gorman told Bloomberg he would say to any members of his staff that wanted to give him lip about their compensation to his face. "No. 2, if you put your compensation in a one-year context to define your over all level of happiness, you have a problem which is much bigger than this job. And No. 3, if you're really unhappy, just leave." Today, in an interview with the FT, Gorman reiterated his stance and added that in addition to reducing compensation for current employees, the bank will likely be drastically cutting pay for future analysts. If anyone has a problem with that, consider applying for a gig at Bank of Mythical Pre-Crisis Era Bonuses. Alternatively, Gorman is happy to discuss a compensation plan in which you'll be awarded shares of his foot in your ass, which vest immediately. In the latest sign of the pressure Wall Street is under to cut costs and address high pay levels, James Gorman, chief executive, said that staff and remuneration would have to be sacrificed as banks cope with lower profits. “There’s way too much capacity and compensation is way too high,” Mr Gorman said in an interview with the Financial Times. “As a shareholder I’m sort of sympathetic to the shareholder view that the industry is still overpaid.” Morgan Stanley itself is already axing 4,000 jobs, 7 per cent of its workforce, by the end of this year. In the new year, Mr Gorman said, the bank will consider its next round of cost-cutting, including lower pay and bonuses. News of further pay cuts, including potentially for new entrants at the investment bank, comes just weeks after Goldman Sachs confirmed it was overhauling its well-known entry-level programme for analysts. Goldman was said to have tired of the number of analysts in the programme who left the bank for hedge funds. Mr Gorman said that Morgan Stanley will probably keep its own analyst programme, but pay could be reduced significantly. Morgan Stanley Chief Warns On Wall Street Pay [FT] Earlier: James Gorman To Employees: STFU Or GTFO

Bonus Watch '12: Third Year Bank Of America CEO's

After a year of layoffs, topless hecklers, people who won't stop yelling at him, jokes that sting, and continuing to "reap the benefits of what Countrywide sowed," things are looking up for Brian Moynihan. Bank of America Corp., the second- biggest U.S. lender, more than quadrupled Chief Executive Officer Brian T. Moynihan’s 2011 compensation to $8.09 million. Salary was unchanged at $950,000 while his stock awards surged to $6.1 million from zero the previous year, the Charlotte, North Carolina-based lender said today in a regulatory filing. The figures conform to U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission guidelines. [Bloomberg]

Bonus Watch '12: Société Générale

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Layoffs Watch '12: Bank Of America

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Layoffs Watch '12: Deutsche Bank

The Germans are considering sending some bankers to live on a farm upstate, where there's plenty of fresh air and room to run around. Europe’s biggest bank by assets, is considering cutting about 1,000 positions at its investment bank as revenue declines, according to a person with knowledge of the matter. The cuts will be mostly outside Germany, where the firm’s investment banking operations are focused, said the person, who asked not be identified as Deutsche Bank’s plan hasn’t been made public. [Bloomberg]

Layoffs Watch '12: Bank Of America

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