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Meredith Whitney Not Worried About Jamie Dimon's Ability To Handle House Financial Services Committee, Unlike Some Chief Executives She Knows

As you may have heard, later today Jamie Dimon will once again testify on Capitol re: a certain whale's multi-billion dollar losses. Unlike last week's hearing, conducted by the relatively reasonable Senate Banking Committee, this time Dimon will face questions and screeching from the relatively bat-shit House Financial Services Committee, a group of people we hope will not hold back. Yet despite the HFSC's history of making witnesses look good, not matter how egregious their offense, by conducting inquiries in a manner that would suggest recreational bath salts abuse by the Congressmen and women, Bloomberg's Tom Keene expressed worry earlier this morning about Dimon's ability to navigate the hearing.  Would today be "tougher" for the JPM chief, Keene asked Bloomberg TV Surveillance guest Meredith Whitney? According to the analyst, Dimon be more than fine and while we're on the subject, not that you asked, she can think of another bank CEO who'd crack under Congressional questioning on account of the fact that he doesn't have eyes you could get lost in. So, 1. How dare you, lady? Lloyd's impish smile and comedic timing don't do it for you? And 2. We thought these kind of blows were reserved for Vikram. Banking Industry Must Reinvent Itself, Says Whitney [Bloomberg TV] Related: Meredith Whitney Cannot Stress Enough How Little She Thinks Of Citigroup
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As you may have heard, later today Jamie Dimon will once again testify on Capitol re: a certain whale's multi-billion dollar losses. Unlike last week's hearing, conducted by the relatively reasonable Senate Banking Committee, this time Dimon will face questions and screeching from the relatively bat-shit House Financial Services Committee, a group of people we hope will not hold back. Yet despite the HFSC's history of making witnesses look good, not matter how egregious their offense, by conducting inquiries in a manner that would suggest recreational bath salts abuse by the Congressmen and women, Bloomberg's Tom Keene was still worried earlier this morning about Dimon's ability to navigate the hearing. One person who wasn't? Keene's Bloomberg TV Surveillance guest Meredith Whitney. According to the analyst, Dimon be more than fine and while we're on the subject, not that you asked, she can think of another bank CEO who'd crack under Congressional questioning on account of the fact that he doesn't have Dimon's eyes, which you could get lost in.

"[Dimon] is, like nobody else...he's the antithesis of Blankfein. He charms. He’s incredible. [Last week] he gave the senators a massage and they gave him a massage back. You see a complete juxtaposition between the two.

So, 1. How dare you, lady? Lloyd's impish smile and comedic timing don't do it for you? And 2. We thought these kind of low blows were reserved for Vikram.

Banking Industry Must Reinvent Itself, Says Whitney [Bloomberg TV]
Related: Meredith Whitney Cannot Stress Enough How Little She Thinks Of Citigroup

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Meredith Whitney: Citigroup Should Just Give Up

Earlier today, we wondered if, in light of the news that Vikram Pandit had resigned as CEO of Citigroup, analyst Meredith Whitney's opinion of the bank had changed. Choice comments that Whitney has made about the Big C in the past have included: "Citigroup is in such a mess Stephen Hawking couldn’t turn this company around"; "Citi is like an old broken-down Victorian house"; and Citi “has no earnings power, isn’t going to grow, hasn’t been investable in four years." She also once told Maria Bartiromo that the only way she'd change her mind about company would be if she received "a new brain." Still, sometimes analysts change their tune when new blood is brought in and, like former FDIC chair Sheila Bair, perhaps some of her beef with the bank had been a personal dislike of Uncle V. Now that he's gone, is she seeing Citigroup in a new light? Not so much, no. In the wake of CEO Vikram Pandit‘s surprise departure this morning, Whitney, founder and CEO of Meredith Whtney Advisory Group LLC, issued a note cautioning clients to be wary of Citigroup even under new leadership. “Citigroup is ‘the incredible shrinking bank,’ and the least interest of the big four, in our opinion,” Whitney said. “No CEO will be able to change these facts in the near-term. It appears the board feels the same way, as they have appointed an unknown to the outside to the new CEO position, Mike Corbat.” [...] On Tuesday, the stock has wavered between gains and losses on heavy trading volume in reaction to Pandit’s resignation. Shares are up 29% this year through Monday’s close. Despite signs of incremental improvement, Whitney isn’t backing down from her bearish stance. “Any seat in Citigroup’s court should come with a warning label,” Whitney says. Meredith Whitney: No CEO Can Fix Citigroup [WSJ] Earlier: Meredith Whitney Cannot Stress Enough How Little She Thinks Of Citigroup

Meredith Whitney Cannot Stress Enough How Little She Thinks Of Citigroup

Meredith Whitney is a banking analyst made famous by Citigroup downgrading Citigroup in late October 2007, saying that the bank was facing a $30 billion capital shortfall and later telling the press "Citigroup is in such a mess Stephen Hawking couldn’t turn this company around.” In the years since she's had less than flattering things to say about the firm and as recently as March 14, 2012, told CNBC that Citi "has no earnings power, isn't going to grow, hasn’t been investable in four years" and "is like an old broken-down Victorian house." (In the same interview, she told Maria Bartiromo that the only way she'd change her mind about the big C would be if she received "a new brain.") So it probably surprised a few people when, earlier this month, she upgraded the bank. But please, do not get the mistaken impression that she's suddenly in love with the place or has developed any feelings for it whatsoeverWhile her latest move was seen as an endorsement of Citi, Whitney said not to read too much into the call. "It certainly doesn't mean I'm running into the loving arms of Citigroup or I've become bullish on Citigroup. What it means is I don't see any near-term negative catalyst for the company," she said. "In the collective it's not that interesting of a stock." Ya hear that, Citi? Not if you were the last two people on earth! Whitney 'Wildly Bullish' on Certain US Markets, But... [CNBC]

Lloyd Blankfein Finally Gets To Be The Prettiest Girl At The Ball

Time was, Jamie Dimon was the most popular CEO on Wall Street and America's "Least Hated Banker," for reasons that included the fact that the man has soulful blue eyes, charisma out the ass, and was in charge of one of the banks that a) didn't go out of business during the financial crisis, like Lehman and Bear and b) supposedly didn't actually need the bailout money the government made it take (as JD has said previously), like Bank of America and Citigroup. The man, in the hearts of many and especially the adoring press, could do no wrong. Which is why it probably stung a lot that Lloyd Blankfein, a Wall Street CEO who also possesses more charm than a person would know what do do with, who was also in charge of a bank that neither went out of business during the financial crisis nor required the bailout money it was forced to take (according to GS), and who is also the owner of a pair of baby blues, though in his case ones that sparkle, could only do wrong. And while LB is not one to gloat at another's misfortune, especially that of a friend, he's obviously feeling pretty good about being living proof of the old saying, "only one Wall Street CEO's balls can be in a vise at a time," and right now it's JD's turn. Dimon did not attend the annual Robin Hood Foundation party [last night], but Blankfein was there, enjoying a rare night out of the spotlight. He shook hands, introduced his wife and, grinning broadly, posed for pictures. For months, Goldman Sachs has been portrayed as the callous Wall Street behemoth whose executives collected giant bonuses while America's housing crisis worsened and unemployment rose. But Monday night was different. "No one cares about Lloyd tonight. It is Jamie against the world, and that's got to feel good for Lloyd," another hedge fund manager said. And this is just the beginning. First, they stop calling you Satan and claiming you poisoned their food, next glowing profiles and cover stories devoting major column inches to your rippling biceps and the throngs of women you beat off with a stick. Dimon Pushes Blankfein Off Hot Seat At Charity Gala [Reuters] Robin Hood Scene: Blankfein, Soros, Rihanna [Bloomberg/Photo]