$$$ Paul Singer wants Mitt Romney to regulate banks more [FT] $$$ JPMorgan, UBS Said Among Banks Queried In Libor Probe [Bloomberg] $$$ Apollo Said To Seek Up To $12 Billion For Flagship Fund [Bloomberg] $$$ Consider taking trading advice from a 23-year-old who day-trades equities in Dallas for his own account and talks about it with Business Insider [BI] $$$ Police Seize Pimping Rules During Raid [TSG] $$$ Shitterton named most unfortunate place name in UK [Scotsman] $$$ Legg Mason is looking for a US product strategist in Baltimore [DBCC] $$$ Standard Chartered eyes joint deal after backing down in U.S. [Reuters] $$$ Jana Disappointed With Agrium Talks [WSJ] $$$ The Harvard Business Review is pro-reading [HBR] $$$ Locals faced with medieval tax to pay for castle renovations [DutchNews] $$$ Lifeboats kill more people than they save [Brendan Koerner]

$$$ Schaeuble Declares Markets Wrong As Europe Heads To Vacation [Bloomberg] $$$ Don't Force Banks Into 'Draconian' Breakups: Whitney [CNBC] $$$ Morgan Stanley Stock May Be Worth $32 In Breakup, Mayo Says [Bloomberg] $$$ The Merkley plan to refinance underwater mortgages sounds pretty good [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Outspoken Analyst Kinnucan Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ Man who rescued a 17-pound lobster "felt the nearly 100-year-old crustacean did not deserve to die with its parts soaked in butter. 'If he was 100, he saw World War I, World War II, man on the moon,' he said. 'Being in New England, he even saw the Red Sox win the World Series. So, he didn’t deserve the boiling water.'" [CBS] $$$ Due to recent regulatory requirements, a top bank in Charlotte is looking for a counterparty credit risk manager to be a Basel expert [DBCC] $$$ Libor scandal makes it more costly for bankers to get insured [Reuters] $$$ Europe Aims to Make Rate Manipulation a Criminal Offense [DealBook] $$$ Fund managers to lose securities lending profits [FT] $$$ The Securities and Exchange Commission drew sharp criticism from a federal judge who said they have failed to properly oversee a $55 million investor education fund created by a nearly decade-old settlement with Wall Street banks. The fund had been created as part of a roughly $1.5 billion regulatory accord in 2003 with Citigroup Inc, Goldman Sachs Group Inc, JPMorgan Chase & Co and other banks accused of publishing biased analyst research. U.S. District Judge William Pauley in Manhattan said the SEC has shown a "lack of oversight" and "indifference" toward how a nonprofit organization charged with distributing the money has been managed. ... Pauley pointed as an example to a two-year, $91,500 grant to the Genesee District Library in Flint, Michigan, that appeared to have resulted in just two events, one of which concerned "spending, sharing, and saving" for children ages two to five. "While there may be benefits to starting investor education early, toddlers seem beyond the pale," the judge wrote in an order issued Wednesday. [Reuters] $$$ Mitt Romney would restore 'Anglo-Saxon' relations between Britain and America [Telegraph]

$$$ Facebook Growth Slows Again; Shares Fall 10% [WSJ] $$$ U.S. Libor Charges Said To Go Beyond Barclays Traders [Bloomberg] $$$ Euro Bankers Signal New Action [WSJ] $$$ Bank Breakups ‘Not a Very Good Idea’: Rep. Frank [CNBC] $$$ Russian Spy Ring Aimed to Make Children Agents [WSJ] $$$ There'll be tornadoes in New York tonight [NYDN] $$$ Natixis Global Asset Management is looking for an intermediate trader in Oakland [DBCC] $$$ Buiter’s now predicting Grexit probability of 90% [FTAV] $$$ Icahn Posts Win as CVR Energy Says It Had No Offers [DealBook] $$$ Money Launderer for Internet Poker Cos. Sentenced to Three Years [FBN] $$$ Romney Riles Londoners With Comments On Olympic Games [Bloomberg] $$$ Cursing at Work Harms Your @#$%& Career [BBW]

$$$ America's Richest Hedge Fund Managers [Forbes] $$$ Blankfein, No Socialist, Sees Flaws in Wealth Distribution [Bloomberg] $$$ Deposit Flight From Europe Banks Eroding Common Currency [Bloomberg] $$$ Disabled Employee Says Bank of America Fired Him for Slow Typing and Walking, "was repeatedly told that accommodating him 'wouldn't be fair to people with two hands.'" [ABC] $$$ Yarr, avast mateys, etc. [Language Log] $$$ A regional broker/dealer located in midtown is looking for a junior analyst/intern to assist in analysis and model development within their renewable energy group focusing on solar PV project finance [DBCC] $$$ Corporate Credit Craze Speaks to Weakness, Not Strength [CNBC] $$$ SEC you later, pal! Schapiro may be heading for the exit [NYP] $$$ Anthony Scaramucci still believes in Mitt Romney's campaign [BI] $$$ Romney Apologizes To Nation's 150 Million 'Starving, Filthy Beggars' [The Onion] $$$ Anti-Semitic Elmo, Back to His Old Ways, Arrested in Times Square [DI]

$$$ Facebook Falls To Record As Lockup End Frees Shares [Bloomberg] $$$ Best Buy Founder Presses Case for Takeover Talks [DealBook] $$$ Hall Of Fame Football Coach Donnan Accused In Ponzi Scheme [Bloomberg] $$$ Dealpolitik: Muddied Waters Complicate Focus Media Buyout [Deal Journal] $$$ “Struck By Blow Dart”: A Brief Index Of Recent Terrible Events Involving Joggers [Deadspin] $$$ Macquarie Capital is looking for a restructuring and M&A vice president in New York, if you're available [DBCC] $$$ BlackRock Tiptoes Into Spain's Sovereign Debt [WSJ] $$$ Bain Capital was good at investing when Mitt Romney ran it [PEHub] $$$ Romney Says He Paid at Least 13% Taxes for 10 Years [CNBC] $$$ New Ray Gun Used to Fight High Sea Pirates [CNBC]

$$$ Citigroup could be surprise winner in stress tests [Reuters] $$$ Goldman Buoyed by Credit Rally Seen Leading Bank Trading Gains [Bloomberg] $$$ Will Portugal Follow Greece Into Debt Relief? [NetNet] $$$ Highland Capital is looking for a distressed investments senior analyst-- you? [DBCC] $$$ Wily, Elusive Foragers Invade Upstate New York [NYT] $$$ Bradley H. Jack a former investment banking chief at Lehman and an owner the most expensive residential property in Fairfield, has been charged for the second time in less than a year with forging a prescription for a controlled substance. [CTP] $$$ Citigroup CEO Vikram Pandit Says Anger With Wall Street Is ‘Understandable’ [NYO] $$$ Peter Thiel, university-hater, heads to campus [Reuters] $$$ Groupon of a lifetime: "$12,500 for a signed Titanic DVD and 13-day ocean voyage with tour of the Titanic (a $59,680 value); departs from St. John’s, Newfoundland, on July 26 and returns August 8" [G]

$$$ Tables turn on Spain with pressure to seek bailout [Reuters] $$$ Maybe David Viniar will be Goldman's chairman when Lloyd retires and Gary is CEO? [WSJ] $$$ "The study found that for a sample of modifications to securitized subprime mortgages, a 10 percent reduction in the monthly payment was associated with a 4.5 percentage point reduction in the twelve-month redefault rate." [New York Fed] $$$ "If Apple continues on its current trajectory, something remarkable might happen on April 9, 2015, at around 11 a.m. That is, statisticians and investors I've spoken with say, a conservative estimate of when Apple could become the first company ever to be valued at $1 trillion." [NYT!] $$$ Welcome to the world Quartz! [Qz] $$$ "To call the Berenstains anthropomorphized bears insults both humans and bears." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Credit Suisse is looking for a research analyst for commodity strategies in asset management in New York [DBCC] $$$ U.S. Corporate Bond Tally Could Top $100 Billion in September [WSJ] $$$ Meredith Whitney is still pretty sure banks will fire a lot of people [CNBC] $$$ William Cohan confuses himself horribly about Whaledemort [Bloomberg] $$$ Mario Batali is paying $1.15mm to Del Posto employees to settle a lawsuit over wages, tips, overtime and discrimination [Diner's Journal] $$$ Hillary Clinton Aide Tells Reporter To “Fuck Off” And “Have A Good Life” [BF] $$$ Mitt Romney Doesn’t Get Why Airplane Windows Don’t Open [DI]

$$$ "Bernanke Signals Readiness to Do More" [WSJ] $$$ "Judgment Days Arrive for Euro Crisis" [WSJ] $$$ Spain To Recapitalize Bankia After 4.45 Billion-Euro Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ Nomura’s Failed Global Ambitions [DealBook] $$$ Quebec Whodunit: 1/4 of Province’s Syrup Reserves Go Missing [WSJ] $$$ That’s it for us today. We’re off Monday for the holiday, enjoy the long weekend and see you on Tuesday! $$$ A global investment bank is looking for an experienced metals options trader in New York [DBCC] $$$ Facebook hits new low after price target cuts [Reuters] $$$ Here is some hedge fund Weltschmerz [FT] $$$ Here is a really depressing story about student loans [NYT] $$$ Some people still don't like PowerPoint [BBW] $$$ "In general, rabbits preferred the higher resolution of the MacBook, whereas squirrels favored the larger screen of the Toshiba. Chipmunks were too hyperactive to linger around either device, even though I sprinkled the keyboards liberally with birdseed, which chipmunks seem to enjoy far more than birds do. I do not recommend this practice ..." [NYT]