Write-Offs: 06.11.12

$$$ Euro zone discussed capital controls if Greek exits euro [Reuters] $$$ Spain's Bailout Boost Quickly Turns to Rout [WSJ] $$$ Fed Says U.S. Wealth Fell 38.8% In 2007-2010 On Housing [Bloomberg] $$$ Bankers Complain of Tension With Fed Over Pay Restrictions [Real Time Economics] $$$ David Cameron left his 8-year-old daughter alone in a pub [AP] $$$ The world's oldest animal marriage looks set to have turtley ended after an incredible 115 years when the two Giant Turtles at an Austrian zoo refused to share their cage anymore. Zoo management have called in animal experts to try and give the pair counselling - feeding them romantic good mood food and trying to get them to join in joint games - but so far without effect. Zoo boss Helga Happ said: "We get the feeling they can't stand the sight of each other anymore." Bibi and Poldi have been a pair since before anyone alive today can remember - they have been together at the Austrian zoo in Klagenfurt for 36 years and before that they lived at Basel zoo in Switzerland. Zoo boss Helga added: "They are both 115 years old - they have been together since they were young and grew up together, eventually becoming a pair. But for no reason that anyone can discover they seem to have fallen out, they just can't stand each other." [Austrian Times] $$$ Intrepid Investment Bankers LLC is looking for an M&A vice president in LA [DBCC] $$$ U.S. high court to hear Amgen securities lawsuit case [Reuters] $$$ A stupid CNBC chart [Felix Salmon] $$$ A stupid Bloomberg headline [Strange Bloomberg Headlines] $$$ A yacht named the Blind Date exploded and sank in the Atlantic Ocean off Sandy Hook, New Jersey [nj.com] $$$ Jerry Sandusky's lawyer tells a jury: "You saw those 8 photos, cute kids" [Penn Live via Deadspin]
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$$$Euro zone discussed capital controls if Greek exits euro [Reuters]

$$$Spain's Bailout Boost Quickly Turns to Rout [WSJ]

$$$Fed Says U.S. Wealth Fell 38.8% In 2007-2010 On Housing [Bloomberg]

$$$Bankers Complain of Tension With Fed Over Pay Restrictions [Real Time Economics]

$$$David Cameron left his 8-year-old daughter alone in a pub [AP]

$$$The world's oldest animal marriage looks set to have turtley ended after an incredible 115 years when the two Giant Turtles at an Austrian zoo refused to share their cage anymore. Zoo management have called in animal experts to try and give the pair counselling - feeding them romantic good mood food and trying to get them to join in joint games - but so far without effect. Zoo boss Helga Happ said: "We get the feeling they can't stand the sight of each other anymore." Bibi and Poldi have been a pair since before anyone alive today can remember - they have been together at the Austrian zoo in Klagenfurt for 36 years and before that they lived at Basel zoo in Switzerland. Zoo boss Helga added: "They are both 115 years old - they have been together since they were young and grew up together, eventually becoming a pair. But for no reason that anyone can discover they seem to have fallen out, they just can't stand each other." [Austrian Times]

$$$ Intrepid Investment Bankers LLC is looking for an M&A vice president in LA [DBCC]

$$$U.S. high court to hear Amgen securities lawsuit case [Reuters]

$$$A stupid CNBC chart [Felix Salmon]

$$$A stupid Bloomberg headline [Strange Bloomberg Headlines]

$$$ A yacht named the Blind Date exploded and sank in the Atlantic Ocean off Sandy Hook, New Jersey [nj .com]

$$$ Jerry Sandusky's lawyer tells a jury: "You saw those 8 photos, cute kids" [Penn Live via Deadspin]

Related

Write-Offs: 02.05.13

$$$ RBS reaches Libor settlement [FT] $$$ Bernanke Voiced Alarm Over Credibility of Ratings Firms [Bloomberg] $$$ The Receivables Exchange [Sober Look] $$$ Rollover Risk as Market Discipline: A Two-Sided Inefficiency [FRBNY] $$$ Goldman has a new "what kind of banker would you be?" quiz [Bloomberg View] $$$ "Staff at a Japanese zoo have been practising procedures designed to recapture escaped animals in the event of an earthquake. An employee of Tama Zoo outside Tokyo donned a zebra costume during the drill as emergency workers set up a barricade. Carrie Gracie describes how the scenario culminated in the 'zebra' being tranquilised." There is video. [BBC] $$$ Highland is looking for a desk analyst for credit trading in Dallas [DBCC] $$$ Nasdaq Talks Settlement in Facebook IPO [WSJ] $$$ LBOs, junk yields, and earnings yields [Free Exchange] $$$ Two students lose fingers in tug-of-war at California high school [Reuters] $$$ Death Star Lollipops [Copyranter]

Write-Offs: 08.08.12

$$$ Ex-UBS Traders Offered Deal by U.S. in Rate Probe [WSJ] $$$ The history of the invention of Libor [Reuters] $$$ British MPs accuse US of anti-City agenda [FT] $$$ Why investors should avoid hedge funds [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ "Brazilian central bank employees staged their first work stoppage in five years today ... demanding an average pay increase of 23 percent to compensate for inflation since June 2008." [Bloomberg via Slate] $$$ Pole Vaulter Realizes It’s Not His Day As His Pole Shatters Mid-Vault [Deadspin] $$$ J.P. Morgan is looking for a Java developer to work on interest rates derivatives pricing [DBCC] $$$ Carbon Credits Gone Awry Raise Output of Harmful Gas [NYT] $$$ "I propose an expanded system of company registration under which companies would have to trade in private markets for a seasoning period, with mandatory disclosure, before they would be allowed to sell their shares to the public at large." [Harvard Law] $$$ On retail vs. institutional investors: "As for small investors vs. little guys, there’s a difference. If you have enough money that you’re investing it through brokers, I personally don’t count you as small, even if you appear small to Goldman Sachs." [Mathbabe] $$$ A Hundred Horses Are Ford’s Pride After Flipping Tainted Banks is really a Bloomberg headline [Bloomberg] $$$ Beck's next album will be released only as sheet music [McSweeney's]

Write-Offs: 06.15.12

$$$ Hopes for central bank action mount [FT] $$$ Mohamed El-Erian: "There is only so much central banks can do" [FT] $$$ Got Cash in Greek Banks? Don't Pull It! [NetNet] $$$ Hedge fund closures hit 2-year high in 1st quarter [Reuters] $$$ A "driven, even obsessive entrepreneur with a proclivity for micromanagement" who is unlikely to take his company public [NYTM] $$$ Also, bath salts [Spin] $$$ "Looking like Jesus can have a very powerful effect on people. When I appeared on stage as Jesus for the first time, a man saw me and collapsed into tears. Looking like this in daily life can be interesting. When I go into bars, for example, I always see people nudging each other. Invariably someone will come up to me with a bottle of water and ask me to turn it into wine. That happens a lot. I was on a date once in a wine bar, and we ended up with three tables joined together with everyone wanting to re-enact the Last Supper using the wine and the bread. It was strange, but fortunately the girl I was with thought it was fun." [FT] $$$ MetLife is looking for an associate director level credit derivatives trader in New Jersey [DBCC] $$$ In Motion, Facebook Lays Out Defense and Highlights Nasdaq’s Missteps [DealBook] $$$ Gupta Jurors Saw American Dream and Convicted [Bloomberg] $$$ The JPMorgan Whale’s regulatory motive [FTAV] $$$ "Can We Watch Some European Football Please?" asks Jim O'Neill [GSAM] $$$ The NFL will let fans pay for All-22 footage [WSJ] $$$ For one protester, 'Occupy' becomes a way of life [Reuters]

Write-Offs: 01.18.13

$$$ Citigroup Said to Cut Investment Bankers’ Bonuses by 20% [Bloomberg] $$$ HSBC to Pay $249 Million in Foreclosure Settlement [WSJ] $$$ "For most of its history, Dell appears to have followed advice from investment banks — advice that ill-served long-term shareholders to the benefit of corporate executives. The company paid out billions of dollars to buy back stock, and only last year began to distribute some of the money to shareholders who chose to stick with it rather than bail out. It has spent more money on share repurchases than it earned throughout its life as a public company. Most of those repurchases were at prices well above current levels." [NYT] $$$ Matt Yglesias on the Fed: "There's no solving for the desired result. There's just a presentation of a scenario and then a bunch of chit chat and discussion of operational details." [Slate] $$$ Vibrator With 3 Balls Can’t Win EU Trademark, Court Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Levin Report on JPMorgan Whale Said to Fault Regulator [Bloomberg] $$$ Assured Guaranty Cut by Moody’s on Muni Insurance Outlook [Bloomberg] $$$ All Dutch securities have been dematerialized [FTAV] $$$ Chinese labour pool begins to drain [FT] $$$ A sonnet version of the Diff'rent Strokes theme song [VC]

Write-Offs: 12.14.15

Banks prep for rate rise; junk bonds; Big solar coming for big oil; "Massachusetts zoo sells artwork painted by animals"; and more.

Write-Offs: 06.18.12

$$$ Clogged Credit Weighs on Fed Policy Makers [WSJ] $$$ Ex-Expert Network Consultant Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ TCI is trying to guilt the FSA into forcing Lloyds to redeem TCI's holdings of Lloyds contingent capital bonds at above-market prices [FT] $$$ Homeowner Aid Boosts Big Banks [WSJ] $$$ World's population is 17 million tons overweight [MSNBC] $$$ Do you have plans on July 17? Do you fancy yourself a poker player? A really good poker player? Do you think you could beat David Einhorn, even if he’s working the table like it's Lehman Brothers circa 2007/2008? Do you think it would not be so awkward that the two of you could then enjoy a meal together and talk shop after which he picks up the tab? If David's not your thing, do you think you could envision yourself in the same scenario but with Bill Ackman? If you answered yes to most of the above and also consider yourself a fan of humanity, helping others and all that jazz, you should most definitely clear your schedule next Wednesday and sign up for a World Poker Tournament benefiting the Rewarding Achievement (REACH) program, which was co-founded by Bill Ackman and Whitney Tilson and gives inner-city high school students academic support and scholarships for passing AP exams. The event is taking place at Gotham Hall in New York and Einhorn (your competition) will be playing, as will Ackman and Tilson. Prizes for winners include the aforementioned meal (a lunch), with Bill, David or Seth Klarman, five nights at a “world-class private beach home in Lamu, Kenya,” a private poker lesson with 2011 WSOP bracelet winner and 2011 WPT Player of the Year, Andy Frankenberger and more. Alternatively, if you’re not one for cards but still want to help kids, you can also just register for the cocktail hour. $$$ Would you be interested in a job as a credit team director at a distressed-focused private equity firm in New York? What if I told you it's at Patriarch Partners? [DBCC, also available] $$$ Likelihood of Grexit Still 50-75%: Citi [CNBC] $$$ Alvarez Says Fed Hasn’t Seen Other JPMorgan Risk Problems [Bloomberg] $$$ Millionaire Parents Say Their Kids Are Unfit to Inherit [CNBC] $$$ New Jersey Man Allegedly Calls 911 From His Pillow Fort, Demands To Speak To Tim Tebow [DeadSpin]

Write-Offs: 09.18.12

$$$ The ECB's unlimited bond buying may be limited to already outstanding bonds [FTAV] $$$ Fed Officials Weigh In On Central Bank's Action [WSJ] $$$ Fannie Mae Pays Banks $1.5 Billion So It Can Fire Them [HuffPo] $$$ Terrorists may or may not have slowed down Bank of America's website [Reuters] $$$ Pimco’s QE3 Distaste Grows as Peso Bond Bet Fades: Mexico Credit [Bloomberg] $$$ Fake Bloomberg Headlines [Twitter] $$$ TIAA-CREF is looking for a manager for asset allocation and investments in New York [DBCC] $$$ Court allows Greenberg suit to proceed over AIG bailout [Reuters] $$$ Lehman Sues J.P. Morgan Over Derivatives Claims [WSJ] $$$ The new mortgage-backed security in a renter's world [Fortune] $$$ Alibaba Completes $7.6 Billion Repurchase of Yahoo Stake [Bloomberg] $$$ Is This Guy A Member Of Maroon 5? [BF]

Write-Offs: 10.22.12

$$$ Yahoo Sales, Profit Top Estimates Amid Mayer Turnaround [Bloomberg] $$$ Farallon’s Founder to Leave by Year End [DealBook] $$$ BofA-Merrill Hires Top Broker From Morgan Stanley [Deal Journal] $$$ The World Financial Center will be renamed "Brookfield Place" [NYO] $$$ Marissa Mayer's baby is named Macallister Bogue [Fortune] $$$ Sorry, nerds: Popular kids earn more in the long run [WonkBlog] $$$ William Blair is recruiting for an Analyst - Special Situations & Restructuring to join the Corporate Finance team in Chicago [DBCC] $$$ Is Mary Schapiro leaving the SEC soon? [FBN] $$$ CLOs stage comeback in US [FT] $$$ McSweeney's has a financial economist talking about debt [McSweeney's] $$$ "Is he a Columbia asshole or a Harvard asshole? The answer is important, because those are two very different types of asshole. Both are obsessed with showing you how smart they are, but the Columbia asshole does it by telling you everything he knows, while the Harvard asshole does it by acting bored with whatever you say. The Harvard variety is at least laid back, and the Columbia variety can be interesting; but put them together and you have a world-weary pest." [NR via IvyGate] $$$ Heinz Counterfeiting Operation Ends in Ketchup Explosion [Grub Street]