$$$ How Morgan Stanley sank to junk status [Reuters] $$$ Rosengren Says Renewing Operation Twist Would Spur Growth; in other news the 10-year hit 1.437% today [Bloomberg] $$$ Defiant Spain to test the bond market [FT] $$$ Egan-Jones cuts Italy to B+, says economy "miserable" [Reuters] $$$ Rajat Gupta’s Wealth in Spotlight at Trial [DealBook] $$$ Man Sentenced For Abandoning Teen Daughter Due to Her Poor Calculus Grade $$$ A highly regarded advisory firm is looking for a life sciences investment banking associate [DBCC] $$$ Bankruptcy Court Approves Dynegy Settlement With Creditors [WSJ] $$$ Chesapeake Oil Well Is Biggest Gusher In Company History [Bloomberg] $$$ A central-bank failure of epic proportions [Economist / Free Exchange] $$$ The National Review runs an article endorsing NGDP targeting [NR] $$$ Hockey Mom Madam wants bail reduced so she can care for her son

$$$ European Economic Outlook Dims Amid Leaders’ Impasse [NYT] $$$ U.S. Bank Lending Falls, Profits Rise [WSJ] $$$ Buffett’s Goldman Deal Is Topic in an Insider Case [DealBook] $$$ Study Finds Germans Incapable of Enjoying Life [Der Spiegel] $$$ This happened: New York nun asks Blankfein if he'll hire her, Blankfein says "I don't think I couldoutbid your current employer" #godswork— Tracy Alloway (@tracyalloway) May 24, 2012 $$$ Man who formerly claimed to be a "certified member of the quiet society of pimps" and asked to be certified as an expert witness in pimpology now says "I was a failure as a pimp. I was a much better car salesman, I was a much better telemarketer, I was much better when I was selling mortgages by phone. I really wasn't very good at it. A lot of it was exaggerated." [NYP, earlier] $$$ A leading electronic trading platform is looking for a CDS / fixed income sales associate [DBCC] $$$ Big European funds dump euro assets [FT] $$$ Facebook market makers' losses total at least $100 million [Reuters] $$$ This is some enjoyable Eliot Spitzer schadenfreude [Concurring Opinions] $$$ "The festival features 10 different types of bacon, plus all things bacon — bacon sausage, bacon meatballs, bacon doughnuts, bacon butterscotch cupcakes — even a walking slab of bacon! There’s a bacon-eating contest, bacon lectures and a bacon song contest — and yes, there’s a crowning of the Bacon Queen! Contestants are asked questions like their favorite memory of bacon, their favorite kind of bacon and their favorite way to cook bacon (the most common answer is “naked,” incidentally)." [CNBC] $$$ Unabomber lists self as ‘prisoner’ in Harvard directory [Boston Globe]

$$$ Man Accused of Plot to Blow Up Federal Reserve Bank of New York [NYT] $$$ Europe banking supervisor plan ‘illegal’ [FT] $$$ Prosecutors Seek as Much as Decade in Prison for Gupta [WSJ] $$$ Dealpolitik: What Sprint’s Unusual Deal Structure Means for Competing Bidders [Deal Journal] $$$ ThinkEquity is no more [MarketBeat] $$$ Trying To Do A Cannonball Into A Frozen Swimming Pool Is Not A Good Idea [Deadspin] $$$ A large regional investment bank is looking for two energy company analysts in New York, Houston or Denver [DBCC] $$$ With Flat Profits, Greenhill Misses Earnings Estimates [DealBook] $$$ Och-Ziff hedge fund looks to exit landlord business [Reuters] $$$ What’s An Index Worth? [IndexUniverse] $$$ "The other day, a friend of mine asked me whether CEOs were born or made. I said, 'That’s kind of like asking if Jolly Ranchers are grown or made. CEO is a very unnatural job.'" [Ben Horowitz] $$$ Customers Refuse to Press Charges Against Couple Having Sex on Restaurant Table Because, Hey, Dinner and a Show [Gawker]

$$$ Schaeuble Declares Markets Wrong As Europe Heads To Vacation [Bloomberg] $$$ Don't Force Banks Into 'Draconian' Breakups: Whitney [CNBC] $$$ Morgan Stanley Stock May Be Worth $32 In Breakup, Mayo Says [Bloomberg] $$$ The Merkley plan to refinance underwater mortgages sounds pretty good [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Outspoken Analyst Kinnucan Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ Man who rescued a 17-pound lobster "felt the nearly 100-year-old crustacean did not deserve to die with its parts soaked in butter. 'If he was 100, he saw World War I, World War II, man on the moon,' he said. 'Being in New England, he even saw the Red Sox win the World Series. So, he didn’t deserve the boiling water.'" [CBS] $$$ Due to recent regulatory requirements, a top bank in Charlotte is looking for a counterparty credit risk manager to be a Basel expert [DBCC] $$$ Libor scandal makes it more costly for bankers to get insured [Reuters] $$$ Europe Aims to Make Rate Manipulation a Criminal Offense [DealBook] $$$ Fund managers to lose securities lending profits [FT] $$$ The Securities and Exchange Commission drew sharp criticism from a federal judge who said they have failed to properly oversee a $55 million investor education fund created by a nearly decade-old settlement with Wall Street banks. The fund had been created as part of a roughly $1.5 billion regulatory accord in 2003 with Citigroup Inc, Goldman Sachs Group Inc, JPMorgan Chase & Co and other banks accused of publishing biased analyst research. U.S. District Judge William Pauley in Manhattan said the SEC has shown a "lack of oversight" and "indifference" toward how a nonprofit organization charged with distributing the money has been managed. ... Pauley pointed as an example to a two-year, $91,500 grant to the Genesee District Library in Flint, Michigan, that appeared to have resulted in just two events, one of which concerned "spending, sharing, and saving" for children ages two to five. "While there may be benefits to starting investor education early, toddlers seem beyond the pale," the judge wrote in an order issued Wednesday. [Reuters] $$$ Mitt Romney would restore 'Anglo-Saxon' relations between Britain and America [Telegraph]

$$$ Buffett: My Succession Plans Have Not Changed [CNBC] $$$ Meredith Whitney upgraded Citigroup [MarketBeat] $$$ Should you worry that all the big banks are growing their assets? [DealBook] $$$ Canadian approached for top BoE job [FT] $$$ Sallie Krawchek: "I've thought a lot about the issue of stereotypes, particularly on Wall Street. I can't count the number of times I have seen men slam something on a table, even throw something. You sort of do a mental eye roll and move on. I can count on one hand — on one finger — the number of tantrums I've seen a woman have. As she was having it, I remember thinking to myself, Bitch." [Marie Claire] $$$ The Ira Sohn Investment Idea Contest seeks to identify a great investment idea to help benefit children with cancer. This year's contest will be judged by an incredible group including Michael Price, Bill Ackman, David Einhorn, Joel Greenblatt and Seth Klarman. The winner will be selected based on the judges’ determination of the most compelling investment idea submitted with a one-year horizon, and will then get to present their investment idea at the Ira Soch Investment Conference itself in May. $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a market risk regulatory capital vice president [DBCC] $$$ London Goes After Trading in Yuan [WSJ] $$$ Bank of America Said to Put Foreign Wealth Management Unit Up for Sale [DealBook] $$$ Derivatives Lobby Has U.S. Regulators on the Run [Bloomberg / Roger Lowenstein] $$$ "We are in a depression, but not because we don’t know how to remedy the problem. We are in a depression because it is our revealed preference, as a polity, not to remedy the problem. We are choosing continued depression because we prefer it to the alternatives." [Interfluidity] $$$ "A Michigan lottery winner was charged with fraud Tuesday for collecting food stamps and public health insurance despite pocketing a $735,000 jackpot."

$$$ Ex-UBS Traders Offered Deal by U.S. in Rate Probe [WSJ] $$$ The history of the invention of Libor [Reuters] $$$ British MPs accuse US of anti-City agenda [FT] $$$ Why investors should avoid hedge funds [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ "Brazilian central bank employees staged their first work stoppage in five years today ... demanding an average pay increase of 23 percent to compensate for inflation since June 2008." [Bloomberg via Slate] $$$ Pole Vaulter Realizes It’s Not His Day As His Pole Shatters Mid-Vault [Deadspin] $$$ J.P. Morgan is looking for a Java developer to work on interest rates derivatives pricing [DBCC] $$$ Carbon Credits Gone Awry Raise Output of Harmful Gas [NYT] $$$ "I propose an expanded system of company registration under which companies would have to trade in private markets for a seasoning period, with mandatory disclosure, before they would be allowed to sell their shares to the public at large." [Harvard Law] $$$ On retail vs. institutional investors: "As for small investors vs. little guys, there’s a difference. If you have enough money that you’re investing it through brokers, I personally don’t count you as small, even if you appear small to Goldman Sachs." [Mathbabe] $$$ A Hundred Horses Are Ford’s Pride After Flipping Tainted Banks is really a Bloomberg headline [Bloomberg] $$$ Beck's next album will be released only as sheet music [McSweeney's]

$$$ Goldman In Push On Volcker Limits [WSJ] $$$ Julius Baer May Cut More Than 1,000 Jobs After Merrill Deal [Bloomberg] $$$ Blackstone closes historic real estate fund on $13.3bn [PEI] $$$ Copenhagen IBOR has its own scandal [Macro Exposure, related] $$$ And State Street's Danish krone interest rate is negative 0.75% [Bloomberg] $$$ [Larry] Greenfield, who retired after a successful career at Opus Trading in Jericho, Long Island, says he would gladly trade his riches in exchange for finding a woman who meets his exacting standards: beautiful, thin, smart, Jewish, a sense of humor and from New York — but not an “alpha.” ... “I’m not a bad guy. I haven’t been to prison,” he said. “It’s just a very frustrating thing.” [NYP] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a banking and cash management lawyer in Purchase, NY [DBCC] $$$ Imagine a country where challenging the ruling authorities — questioning, say, a piece of data released by central headquarters — would result in mobs of administration sympathizers claiming you should feel "embarrassed" and labeling you a fool, or worse. Soviet Russia perhaps? Communist China? Nope, that would be the United States right now, when a person (like me, for instance) suggests that a certain government datum (like the September unemployment rate of 7.8%) doesn't make sense. - Jack Welch [WSJ] $$$ Jack Welch ‘100%’ Right, Jobs Data Are Wrong: Trump [CNBC] $$$ The Private Equity Wizardry Behind Realogy’s Comeback [DealBook] $$$ "Savoring a long lunch after a morning tending to baby quince and pear trees, the French Senate's 78 gardeners are blissfully untouched by the economic crisis gnawing at Europe's core." $$$ Definitive Proof Rose And Jack Could Have Survived TOGETHER [BuzzFeed]

$$$ Eurozone demands six-day week for Greece [Guardian] $$$ Hedge funds perplexed by negative Bund yield conundrum [Reuters] $$$ Money market funds want to buy negative-yielding securities, pass the savings on to you [FT] $$$ Moody's: U.S Banking Outlook Negative Despite Stronger Banks [WSJ] $$$ Matt Taibbi says a lot of wrong things about private equity, which is surprising for some reason [Term Sheet] $$$ Jim Cramer's Mad Money is more popular at 3am [NYP] $$$ Sands Capital Management is looking for a senior associate in Virginia for public and private equity, focusing on life sciences [DBCC] $$$ Andrew Ross Sorkin doesn't think you appreciate that Facebook has lost $50 billion in market cap. Let him say that again for emphasis: fifty billion. Fifty billion! [DealBook] $$$ Barclays fired some people for manipulating Libor [Reuters] $$$ "IPhone Price Cuts Send Bond Inflation Bets To 11-Year Low" [Bloomberg] $$$ Felix Salmon's friends spend $410mm a year on wine [Reuters] $$$ Judge Orders Sex-Change Operation for Federal Prisoner [Law Blog] $$$ Fifty billion!