$$$ Hedge fund performance YTD: Paul Tudor Jones +1.59%, David Einhorn +3.7%, Dan Loeb +3.9%, HFRX Global Index +1.22%, S&P +8% [Reuters] $$$ For Fletcher Investors: Unhappy Returns and, So Far, No Refunds [WSJ] $$$ Money market funds close after ECB cut [FT] $$$ CNBC thinks it's important to report the "hot news story" of Libor manipulation without mentioning Libor, for some reason [CNBC] $$$ Marxism is back [Guardian] $$$ Massachusetts man pays off mortgage with pennies [AP] $$$ A Chicago hedge fund is looking for a quant trader/ quant strategist to join a high frequency trading team [DBCC] $$$ Italy Approves €4.5 Billion in Spending Cuts for 2012 [WSJ] $$$ Commercial Mortgages Show How Bad It Got [NYT] $$$ Reverse mortgages: the celebrity pitchman aren’t even the worst part [Reuters / Ben Walsh] $$$ You can predict the outcome of negotiations and business pitches without hearing a word by observing the ratio of speaking to listening and the amount of voice fluctuation [Farnam Street] $$$ It's going to be 105 degrees in New York tomorrow, so that's nice [DI]

$$$ Hedge Fund Manager Found Guilty of Insider Trading [DealBook] $$$ Citi chief rejects calls for bank splits [FT] $$$ E.C.B. Rejects Speculation About Its Bond-Buying Intentions [NYT] $$$ Condoleeza Rice and Darla Moore became the first women admitted to Augusta National [USAT] $$$ Apple Market Value Hits Record High $$$ Kansas lawmaker apologizes for nude Sea of Galilee swim [AP] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for an anti-money-laundering due diligence manager in New York [DBCC] $$$ Banks Use $1.77 Trillion To Double Treasury Purchases [Bloomberg] $$$ UBS Seeing Moat Of Secrecy Run Dry Vows Results To Lure Wealthy [Bloomberg] $$$ "Inspired by Google’s PageRank, the authors of a new paper create DebtRank, a measure of connection centrality. The vertical axis in the following diagram shows DebtRank (centrality) the horizontal axis asset shows size relative to the total network and the color indicates fragility/leverage. Institutions such as Wachovia, RBS and Barclays were relatively small but because of their centrality and fragility they imposed big risks on the system." [MR] $$$ Would it be better if analysts started earnings call Q&As by saying "terrible quarter, guys"? [Overheard]

$$$ Eurozone deal over bank bailout in doubt [FT] $$$ U.K. Bankers Group to Stop Overseeing Libor [WSJ] $$$ The Smith Barney Name Still Lives (Sort of) [Deal Journal] $$$ Mason Capital may lose money on its delightful Telus trade [DealBook] $$$ Actually, business and political leaders aren't that stressed [LAT] $$$ “I’ve had to sit here all night staring at a whale,” [Jes] Staley said last night, a few hours into a gala for the NYU Langone Medical Center’s Hospital for Joint Diseases and Center for Musculoskeletal Care. He was accepting an award for corporate leadership. Staley then suggested the whale could be replaced with the squid in the room, which, he clarified afterward, meant Goldman Sachs Group Inc., represented by his friend Gary D. Cohn, chairman of the dinner and the hospital’s advisory board. Rolling Stone writer Matt Taibbi called Goldman a “vampire squid.” All this took place about 20 feet from a diorama depicting a battle between a sperm whale and a giant squid. Which creature will triumph is unclear, though squid have been found in whales’ stomachs. [Bloomberg] $$$ Macquarie's Credit Solutions Group, a distressed and special situations financing group, is looking for a 2nd or 3rd-year analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ Or just be an event coordinator for Breaking Media [Fashionista] $$$ Uber Bear Sees S&P at 800...Just Not Yet [CNBC!] $$$ Eighth Grader Says He Vandalized Congressman’s Office [NYT] $$$ Mitt Romney Stops Supporters from Chanting ‘Ryan’ to Ensure They Say His Name Too [Gawker] $$$ Police launched investigation into the 'suspicious' moon [Telegraph]

$$$ Mitt Romney overpays his taxes, is rich [WaPo] $$$ Goldman Sachs is rolling out a hedge fund investing platform [Reuters] $$$ The ECB's pretend-you're-a-central-banker online game has a single mandate [Economist] $$$ SEC Said to Scrutinize Private Equity on Share of Payout [Bloomberg] $$$ Kato Kaelin Has a 'Gut Feeling' O.J. Simpson Was Guilty of Double Murder [ABC] $$$ BoNY Mellon is looking for a wealth management senior sales director in Greenwich [DBCC] $$$ EU in talks over Spanish rescue plan [FT] $$$ California found some more debt that it owes [NYT] $$$ Behind the Scenes, Some Lawmakers Lobby to Change the Volcker Rule [DealBook] $$$ Bank of America Is Now Stealing From Child Actors, Allegedly [Gawker]

$$$ TARP’s Smallest Recipient Repays, Treasury Reaps $62,000 [Real Time Economics] $$$ Peter Madoff Gets 10 Years for Aiding Brother’s Ponzi Scheme [Bloomberg] $$$ Role of Brokers in UBS Scandal Draws Scrutiny [WSJ] $$$ "At long last the New York Stock Exchange has achieved its main goal in recent years: consumption by a beast higher on the food chain." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ This Handy Vibrator Is a Great Place to Store Your Pitch Decks [BetaBeat] $$$ Franklin Templeton is looking for a director of portfolio analysis and investment risk in San Mateo, CA [DBCC] $$$ San Bernardino paid $2 million in cash-outs before bankruptcy filing [Reuters] $$$ Making It Easier to Estimate Libor Losses [DealBook] $$$ US banks face rise in bad loans cover [FT] $$$ Pope already beating Justin Bieber’s rate of Twitter retweets — just a week after launching account [NYDN]

$$$ Swelling Bond Yields Add to EU Pressure [WSJ] $$$ Goodbye Smith Barney [DealBook] $$$ A Marxist take on the European Central Bank [Slack Wire] $$$ Izzy Kaminska: "If it is true that the system can increasingly provide a base level of existence for ever more people for almost no cost, should we be surprised that those western countries where a base level of existence is adequate — because of weather, surroundings and general environment — are the first to opt out of unnecessary human productivity?" [FTAV] $$$ Corporate political giving is negatively correlated with market performance for most companies, positively correlated with performance for firms in highly regulated industries [Rice via WonkBlog] $$$ Mitt Romney and "Sport," a Continuing Saga [MoJo] $$$ CRT Capital Group is looking for a credit product sales assistant in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ SEC Charges 14 Sales Agents In $415 Million Long Island-Based Ponzi Scheme [SEC] $$$ Greek Antiquities, Long Fragile, Are Endangered by Austerity [NYT] $$$ The Volume Clock: Insights into the High Frequency Paradigm [SSRN via MR] $$$ Someone at ISDA appears to have the job of pointing out when Gretchen Morgenson is wrong about derivatives [ISDA] $$$ The explosion of the yacht named Blind Date was a hoax [NYP]

$$$ Europe stimulus rift crisis etc. etc. [FT] $$$ Corporate Profits Just Hit An All-Time High, Wages Just Hit An All-Time Low [BI] $$$ Wells Fargo's mushrooming mortgage risk [Reuters] $$$ Investors cast doubt on "end of world" hedge strategies [Reuters] $$$ Rajaratnam Wiretaps Catch ‘Chunky But Funky’ Goldman Salesman in Scandalous Act of Doing His Job [DI / Kevin Roose] $$$ This is a good post about quants [Mathbabe] $$$ "Europe’s highest court ruled that workers who happened to get sick on vacation were legally entitled to take another vacation." [NYT via MR] $$$ A leading investment bank is looking for a manager of High Frequency Trading development [DBCC] $$$ The Bank of England is now posting collateral on derivative trades [FTAV] $$$ ‘Orwellian’ Goldman Loses Bid to Dismiss Suit Over CDO Deals [Deal Journal] $$$ President Obama Can’t Be in the Same Room As Forks Anymore? [DI] $$$ When your soccer team loses, you feel down and are therefore more inclined to sell securities in the markets [SSRN, related?] $$$ Germany 4 - 2 Greece [NYT] $$$ Just Thinking About Having a Drink Can Help You Relax [CNBC]

$$$ Eurozone delays Athens rescue funds [FT] $$$ Loans to Banks Cool Debt Crisis [WSJ] $$$ European Leaders Challenged by Rise in Joblessness [NYT] $$$ An explanation of that Barclays tax trade, with cartoons [FTAV] $$$ Sofa King can no longer advertise prices that are "Sofa King low" in the UK [Language Log] $$$ Mitt Romney has worn a garbage bag for rain gear $$$ Fed's Dilemma: Markets Want Both Growth—And Stimulus [CNBC] $$$ Facebook seeking bigger credit line [Reuters] $$$ Unlike other types of complex financial transactions, insider trading prosecutions usually do not require jurors to develop sophisticated knowledge of the financial markets or securities valuation. There is not a statutory definition establishing its parameters, so it can be applied to a wide variety of transactions, and the crime does not have complicated requirements for proving a violation. Prosecutors are cracking down on insider trading because there's no law telling people what's illegal and unsophisticated jurors will convict [DealBook] $$$ Oprah's Book Club makes people read less [MR] $$$ The personal assistant of Paris Hilton's sister's hedge funder ex-husband Todd Meister was maybe dating him while she was stealing $1mm from him, or something like that [NYP]