Accused insider trader threw his phone in a creek to derail FBI; Regulator takes aim at ETFs; Wrong toppings on burrito prompt attack; and more.

$$$ Spain reveals €100bn capital flight [FT] $$$ Spain Says It Has Months to Raise Bank-Bailout Funds [WSJ] $$$ Market Braces for What Could Be Another Weak Jobs Report [CNBC] $$$ Goldman’s Cohn Warns Of Poaching Risks From Further Cuts [Bloomberg] $$$ Larry Fink's hedge-fund-manager son Josh isn't having a great time of it [AR-Alpha] $$$ "T. Boone Pickens, who apparently follows Drake on Twitter, sure isn't [impressed], replying 'The first billion is a helluva lot harder' with a mic-drop retweet." [Gizmodo] $$$ RAND Corporation is looking for a business analyst in Santa Monica [DBCC] $$$ Blankfein Expected to Testify at Gupta Trial [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan CIO Swaps Pricing Said to Differ From Bank [Bloomberg] $$$ Felix Salmon is in a fight with a startup that has "has the best part of $300,000 in interest-free financing repayable at a time of its choosing in underwear." [Reuters] $$$ "'They signed off on their messages with LOL — laughing out loud,' Police Commissioner Ray Kelly said. 'Well, there was a person who was laughing out loud. That was Police Officer Michael Rodrigues of the 77th Precinct.'" [NYP] $$$ Try "the Douche Burger, a $666 edible fiscal disaster that piles caviar, lobster & truffles on top of a foie-stuffed, gold-leaf-wrapped Kobe patty, smothers it with Gruyere melted with Champagne steam, and finishes it off with BBQ sauce made using Kopi Luwak coffee that's passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet, explaining why it 'may not taste good, but will make you feel rich as f*ck.'" [Thrillist via Copyranter]

White House may change tune on Fannie and Freddie; I.M.F. may have too much on its plate; Elliott’s big tech bets; "Lobster-and-Wine Scandal"; and more.

$$$ Clogged Credit Weighs on Fed Policy Makers [WSJ] $$$ Ex-Expert Network Consultant Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ TCI is trying to guilt the FSA into forcing Lloyds to redeem TCI's holdings of Lloyds contingent capital bonds at above-market prices [FT] $$$ Homeowner Aid Boosts Big Banks [WSJ] $$$ World's population is 17 million tons overweight [MSNBC] $$$ Do you have plans on July 17? Do you fancy yourself a poker player? A really good poker player? Do you think you could beat David Einhorn, even if he’s working the table like it's Lehman Brothers circa 2007/2008? Do you think it would not be so awkward that the two of you could then enjoy a meal together and talk shop after which he picks up the tab? If David's not your thing, do you think you could envision yourself in the same scenario but with Bill Ackman? If you answered yes to most of the above and also consider yourself a fan of humanity, helping others and all that jazz, you should most definitely clear your schedule next Wednesday and sign up for a World Poker Tournament benefiting the Rewarding Achievement (REACH) program, which was co-founded by Bill Ackman and Whitney Tilson and gives inner-city high school students academic support and scholarships for passing AP exams. The event is taking place at Gotham Hall in New York and Einhorn (your competition) will be playing, as will Ackman and Tilson. Prizes for winners include the aforementioned meal (a lunch), with Bill, David or Seth Klarman, five nights at a “world-class private beach home in Lamu, Kenya,” a private poker lesson with 2011 WSOP bracelet winner and 2011 WPT Player of the Year, Andy Frankenberger and more. Alternatively, if you’re not one for cards but still want to help kids, you can also just register for the cocktail hour. $$$ Would you be interested in a job as a credit team director at a distressed-focused private equity firm in New York? What if I told you it's at Patriarch Partners? [DBCC, also available] $$$ Likelihood of Grexit Still 50-75%: Citi [CNBC] $$$ Alvarez Says Fed Hasn’t Seen Other JPMorgan Risk Problems [Bloomberg] $$$ Millionaire Parents Say Their Kids Are Unfit to Inherit [CNBC] $$$ New Jersey Man Allegedly Calls 911 From His Pillow Fort, Demands To Speak To Tim Tebow [DeadSpin]

$$$ Greece drops demand to ease bailout terms [FT] $$$ The NYSE Gets Its Very Own Dark Pool [MarketBeat] $$$ The Strange Takeover Limbo of CVR [DealBook] $$$ Countrywide won influence by giving House members discounts, report says [AP] $$$ Jon Ronson talks to rich people, middle-class people, and poor people [GQ] $$$ The guy who finished ahead of David Einhorn in the $1mm buy-in One Drop poker tournament was beaten up shortly afterwards [Poker News Daily] $$$ A German university is suing a business student for lost income because he finished his bachelors and masters degrees in only 20 months [UPI] $$$ A top institution is looking for a VP level structured credit trader in New York [DBCC] $$$ Euro the big loser after central banks intervene [FT] $$$ Irish Bill Sale Marks End Of Drought As Spain Yields Rise [Bloomberg] $$$ Why not have variable-rate mortgages with fixed payments but variable amortization periods? [American Banker] $$$ Traded assets are more volatile than non-traded assets, NGDP targeting edition [Noahpinion] $$$ Alphonse "Buddy" Fletcher's wife is the Kleiner Perkins partner suing them for gender discrimination [Term Sheet] $$$ An Alternative Living Will for Banks [Paperwell]

$$$ Merkel's Dilemma: Risk Euro Zone or Her Government [WSJ] $$$ S.E.C. Pays Out First Whistle-Blower Reward [DealBook] $$$ Fed probes RBS over dealings with Iran [FT] $$$ Barry Diller's IAC offers $300 million for About.com [Reuters] $$$ Fifty Shades of Grey Is Now the Only Hope Our Economy Has [DI] $$$ Red Lobster Waitress Attacked For Filling Water Glasses Too Often At St. Louis Location [HuffPo] $$$ A broker-dealer is looking for experienced emerging market credit salespeople in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ Subprime Whodunit A Case of Semantics [WSJ, related] $$$ Best Buy Suspends Profit Outlook & Buybacks After Ending Deal Talks [Reuters] $$$ Sometimes VCs sell stock, deal with it [Fred Wilson] $$$ "Prince Harry tried to end Ryan Lochte’s championship reign Monday, duking it out with the Olympic hero in an after-hours race at a boozy Las Vegas pool party." [NYDN] $$$ The Koch brothers' less famous younger brother built a fake Western town for some reason [Gawker]

$$$ Schaeuble Declares Markets Wrong As Europe Heads To Vacation [Bloomberg] $$$ Don't Force Banks Into 'Draconian' Breakups: Whitney [CNBC] $$$ Morgan Stanley Stock May Be Worth $32 In Breakup, Mayo Says [Bloomberg] $$$ The Merkley plan to refinance underwater mortgages sounds pretty good [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Outspoken Analyst Kinnucan Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ Man who rescued a 17-pound lobster "felt the nearly 100-year-old crustacean did not deserve to die with its parts soaked in butter. 'If he was 100, he saw World War I, World War II, man on the moon,' he said. 'Being in New England, he even saw the Red Sox win the World Series. So, he didn’t deserve the boiling water.'" [CBS] $$$ Due to recent regulatory requirements, a top bank in Charlotte is looking for a counterparty credit risk manager to be a Basel expert [DBCC] $$$ Libor scandal makes it more costly for bankers to get insured [Reuters] $$$ Europe Aims to Make Rate Manipulation a Criminal Offense [DealBook] $$$ Fund managers to lose securities lending profits [FT] $$$ The Securities and Exchange Commission drew sharp criticism from a federal judge who said they have failed to properly oversee a $55 million investor education fund created by a nearly decade-old settlement with Wall Street banks. The fund had been created as part of a roughly $1.5 billion regulatory accord in 2003 with Citigroup Inc, Goldman Sachs Group Inc, JPMorgan Chase & Co and other banks accused of publishing biased analyst research. U.S. District Judge William Pauley in Manhattan said the SEC has shown a "lack of oversight" and "indifference" toward how a nonprofit organization charged with distributing the money has been managed. ... Pauley pointed as an example to a two-year, $91,500 grant to the Genesee District Library in Flint, Michigan, that appeared to have resulted in just two events, one of which concerned "spending, sharing, and saving" for children ages two to five. "While there may be benefits to starting investor education early, toddlers seem beyond the pale," the judge wrote in an order issued Wednesday. [Reuters] $$$ Mitt Romney would restore 'Anglo-Saxon' relations between Britain and America [Telegraph]

$$$ Obama Fundraiser Robert Wolf Leaving UBS [WSJ, related] $$$ Geithner defends U.S. response to 2008 Libor concerns [Reuters] $$$ This lender charges 204% for loans. [CNBC] $$$ No Jail Time for Cooperating Witness in Galleon Case [Dealbook] $$$ J.P. Morgan has a London employee whose name is Libor. [David Enrich] $$$ Did Fixing Libor Keep Financial Crisis From Getting Worse? [NetNet] $$$ US Postal Service Nears Its First Default [WSJ] $$$ Pedo-bear ruins Nestle's Facebook party [TA]