$$$ Hedge fund performance YTD: Paul Tudor Jones +1.59%, David Einhorn +3.7%, Dan Loeb +3.9%, HFRX Global Index +1.22%, S&P +8% [Reuters] $$$ For Fletcher Investors: Unhappy Returns and, So Far, No Refunds [WSJ] $$$ Money market funds close after ECB cut [FT] $$$ CNBC thinks it's important to report the "hot news story" of Libor manipulation without mentioning Libor, for some reason [CNBC] $$$ Marxism is back [Guardian] $$$ Massachusetts man pays off mortgage with pennies [AP] $$$ A Chicago hedge fund is looking for a quant trader/ quant strategist to join a high frequency trading team [DBCC] $$$ Italy Approves €4.5 Billion in Spending Cuts for 2012 [WSJ] $$$ Commercial Mortgages Show How Bad It Got [NYT] $$$ Reverse mortgages: the celebrity pitchman aren’t even the worst part [Reuters / Ben Walsh] $$$ You can predict the outcome of negotiations and business pitches without hearing a word by observing the ratio of speaking to listening and the amount of voice fluctuation [Farnam Street] $$$ It's going to be 105 degrees in New York tomorrow, so that's nice [DI]

$$$ Fed Is 'Playing a Game With Us:' Pimco's Gross [CNBC] $$$ Bundesbank steps up pressure on Draghi [FT] $$$ Broker departures accelerate at Merrill Lynch [Reuters] $$$ The head of credit trading at Credit Suisse has been fined £210,000 for disclosing confidential information about a forthcoming €2.5bn bond issue after inviting a UK fund manager to “play charades” and guess the identity of the issuer. Nicholas Kyprios encouraged a fund manager who had been invited by Credit Suisse to a roadshow in November 2009 for an unnamed company to guess the issuer, using phrases like “you’re getting warmer”, the Financial Services Authority said. [FT] $$$ How would you like to be a Fixed Income Business Management Analyst for BlackRock in New York? [DBCC] $$$ Goldman Hires a New P.R. Chief $$$ Euro Zone Split over Financial Transaction Tax [Der Spiegel] $$$ Fred Wilpon's lawyers have planned a whole range of distractions for their Madoff trial [WSJ, related] $$$ Robert Lacoursiere, the Paulson & Co. partner who oversaw the $23 billion hedge fund’s team of banking analysts, quit last week after four years to start his own fund, according to a person with knowledge of the matter. [Bloomberg] $$$ Manhattan madam's 'sidekick' turns herself in, released on $100K bail [NYP]

$$$ ECB thinks the unthinkable, action likely weeks away [Reuters] $$$ Private equity assets hit record $3tn [FT] $$$ Economy Tests Harvard [WSJ] $$$ Guy seeks attention by pretending he manipulated Libor [Boston Review, related] $$$ Chivalry On Sinking Ships Only A Myth, Researchers Find [Bloomberg] $$$ Macquarie Research is looking for a REIT research associate in New York [DBCC] $$$ A Berlusconi Comeback Is Last Thing Italy Needs [Bloomberg] $$$ Here you will find a Fox Business segment on The Decathlon featuring an NBA vs. Wall Street vertical jump contest [FBN] $$$ Here you will find an argument for replacing the uncomfortable business metaphor "opening the kimono" with "putting a ruler to the dick" [Mathbabe] $$$ "Many scientists don’t like to talk about shark sex," but some do [LRB]

$$$ Former Barclays trader "has cooperated" with Libor probe [Reuters] $$$ Towards a transaction-based Libor [FTAV, and the Wheatley Review] $$$ Carl Levin not letting up on Goldman Sachs [Politico] $$$ SEC Asked Herbalife Same Questions Einhorn Raised [Deal Journal, earlier, also] $$$ Here’s Rex Ryan Wearing An “I’d Hit That” Shirt [Deadspin] $$$ How would you like to be a financial industry recruiter at The Bachrach Group in New York? [DBCC] $$$ Icahn accuses Forest of hiding poison pill agreements [Reuters] $$$ Ex-Carlyle Consultant Gets Probation For Insider Trading [Bloomberg] $$$ Job Churn Hits Insider Probe [WSJ] $$$ The first known use of "OMG" was in a 1917 letter to Winston Churchill [BuzzFeed]

$$$ Fed Proposes Broad Guidelines for Foreign Banks [WSJ] $$$ UBS Libor Pact Said to Include Charges Against Bankers [Bloomberg] $$$ SEC has examined Bank of America mortgage repurchases [Reuters] $$$ China investors grow angry at mud-slinging [FT] $$$ VIDEO: "Big Write-Offs Will Inspire You," Top AIG Exec Raps About Bailout [MoJo] $$$ Best Buy Gives Founder More Time to Make a Bid [DealBook] $$$ Apple Falls as UBS Projects Growth Slowdown [Bloomberg] $$$ This is a story about conversion-free contingent convertible notes [Euromoney] $$$ This is a story about an ad hoc group of sewer warrant holders [Bloomberg] $$$ "There's also the fear that admissions officers could develop Sandy fatigue. 'That's the risk, that everyone from New Jersey or New York is going to be writing about Sandy,' said Nicole Oringer, a private admissions counselor." [WSJ]

$$$ Regulator says no to Obama mortgage write-down plan [Reuters] $$$ Boehner, Reid reach early deal to avert shutdown [WaPo] $$$ Problems with a positive expected value lottery [Kid Dynamite] $$$ Problems with using Twitter signals in your quant fund [Willy Staley] $$$ J.P. Morgan Awarded ‘Best Trader’ For Second Quarter (Really) [Deal Journal] $$$ Snoop Lion explains name change [from "Snoop Dogg"], new focus [reggae] [CNN] $$$ Pimco is looking for a trade compliance analyst in New York and a trade compliance supervisor in Newport Beach [DBCC] $$$ SEC seeks more investor protections for U.S. muni market [Reuters] $$$ High frequency trading costs investors $2.5bn a year, or less, or zero, or benefits them, or something else [BBW] $$$ Switzerland is ‘new China’ in currencies [FT] $$$ FraudVille? Zynga sued for insider trading [Term Sheet] $$$ Happy 25th birthday, Microsoft PowerPoint! [Undercover Economist] $$$ The Porn Convention [Forbes]

$$$ Plans to Ease Euro Crisis Are Ambitious but Long-Term [NYT] $$$ European fiscal union and adverse selection [Scott Sumner] $$$ The twilight of the central banker [Economist / Ryan Avent] $$$ Best Buy Founder Weighs Buyout [WSJ] $$$ The crown prince of Dubai came to New York and ate a $1,000 ice cream sundae [NYP] $$$ BlackRock is looking for a real estate securities portfolio manager [DBCC] $$$ As Nomura Investors Meet, Strategy, Insider-Trade Probe to Take Center Stage [WSJ] $$$ Qatar turns on Glencore-Xstrata terms [FT] $$$ What’s been pushing up US repo rates? [FTAV] $$$ Man Charged with Felony Assault with a Dangerous Weapon for Throwing McDonald’s French Fries in Stepdaughter’s Face [Gawker]

$$$ Spain Banks Have $76 Billion Capital Deficit in Stress Test [Bloomberg] $$$ How Bernanke Pulled the Fed His Way [WSJ] $$$ The economics of video games [Wonkblog] $$$ Scaramucci Picking Singapore Shows City as Hot Spot [Bloomberg] $$$ "SocGen’s Alberts concedes that his writing can be 'pretty insane' and his market timing 'unerringly inaccurate.'" CNBC's headline is "Bernanke’s ‘Ruinous’ QE Will Lead to Rapid Inflation: SocGen’s Albert Edwards" [CNBC] $$$ 'Cocaine For Snowblindness': What Polar Explorers Packed For First Aid [NPR] $$$ AIG is looking for a credit analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ Mortgage lending should provide a tailwind to bank earnings [Reuters] $$$ Ex-analyst at unit of Cohen's SAC Capital admits insider trading [Reuters] $$$ Global regulators follow UK’s Libor lead [FT] $$$ What Your Beer Says About Your Politics [Hotline] $$$ From King’s Daughter to Lowly Fishmonger: Lisa Marie Presley Is Selling Fish and Chips out of the Back of a Van [Gawker]