$$$ SEC Opens Review of J.P. Morgan [WSJ] $$$ $$$ Chesapeake Energy: How To Lose $1 Billion In 46 Minutes [MarketBeat] $$$ Facebook's IPO already oversubscribed [Reuters] $$$ "The new lead investigator at the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission's watchdog office has been placed on administrative leave after he talked openly about wanting to carry a concealed firearm at work and some employees complained he was a physical threat, according to people familiar with the matter." [CNBC, related] $$$ Are Dads the New Moms? [WSJ] $$$ An elite credit focused hedge fund is seeking a trade assistant for its CDS desk in New York [DBCC] $$$ Avon Board Said to Study Coty Diligence Request [Bloomberg] $$$ This is a pretty cool idea for shareholder lawsuit settlements [M&A Law Prof Blog] $$$ John Travolta's lawyer calls third claim of sexual advances 'ridiculous' [NYP] $$$ Failed Buffett dinner auction still draws donation [CNBC]

$$$ Facebook Earnings Beat; Profit Margin Falls Sharply [CNBC] $$$ U.S. Economy Unexpectedly Contracts in Fourth Quarter [WSJ] $$$ Is Renaissance Technologies Falling off the Mark? [II Alpha] $$$ Draghi Bank of Italy Knew of Monte Paschi Missteps in ’10 [Bloomberg] $$$ New BlackBerry won't have BrickBreaker [DealBook] $$$ Deutsche Bank is looking for a sales officer for trade finance solutions in New York [DBCC] $$$ Venezuela's bonds have had a 14.7% annual return [Bloomberg] $$$ Goldman Sachs braces for bond market blow up [Fortune] $$$ Treasury Posts Losses on TARP Auctions [WSJ] $$$ "What is the problem with Internet trolls? Why do people dislike them so much? Is it just an example of following-the-herd mentality? Some kind of deeper prejudice? A love of bridges? What is the source of this animosity? Why does it perpetuate itself? Where did this prejudice come from?" [The Awl]

$$$ Euro-Zone Leaders Step Up Greece Contingency Plans [WSJ] $$$ Facebook Banks Said To Make $100 Million On Stabilizing Stock [Bloomberg, earlier] $$$ The Modest Worth of Big Banks [NYT] $$$ Cardiff Garcia on Brad DeLong on Walter Bagehot [FTAV] $$$ "While we’re on the subject, we’d be remiss not to note that Mr. Muniyappa wore jeans and an untucked plaid button down, prompting New York Times legal eagle Peter Lattman to poll observers on the last time they’d seen a witness take the stand without a necktie. 'Maybe not at the trials The Times covers,' a wiseacre snapped." [NYO] $$$ Stress! An Energy Source Of The Future? [The Awl] $$$ "Representing the sovereign in these affairs is just more fun. It is a mixture of politics, finance and law, and theater," [sovereign restructuring lawyer Lee Buchheit] said. Buchheit recalled an Asian finance minister - referring to her only as "The Iron Lady" - resting a hand on his arm as tension mounted at 3 a.m. in a marathon meeting and saying: "I know you'll get us through this." [Reuters] $$$ UBS is looking for a credit stress testing analyst in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ China plans brokerage reforms to create its own Goldman Sachs [Reuters] $$$ In defense of private equity: Japan [Noahpinion] $$$ Romney Can’t Explain What He Learned in Business [DI] $$$ ALF Creator Paul Fusco Thinks ‘Timing is Right’ for an ALF Movie [Gawker]

$$$ Spain's Ability to Fund Itself to Be Put to Test Thursday [CNBC] $$$ European Rescue Fund May Face Biggest Test Yet [NYT] $$$ Chesapeake CEO took $1.1 billion in shrouded personal loans [Reuters] $$$ Squam Lake Group: SEC Beware, Money Funds Can Bring System Down [Bloomberg] $$$ A Merrill Lynch trainee was busted for faking a Series 7 score [Forbes] $$$ Dartmouth Student Plans to Sell "Hazing Simulation" for $10 [IvyGate] $$$ Illumina Fends Off Roche’s Hostile Bid [DealBook] $$$ BlackRock Aims to Soothe Concerns on New Trading Platform [MarketBeat] $$$ On the other hand, BlackRock to Shift Business if Moody’s Downgrades Banks [DealBook] $$$ Currency Probes Nip Banks' Profits [WSJ] $$$ This is your chance to audition for commenter roles at a leading Internet concern; openings include "Disbarred lawyer. Provides long and just-slightly incorrect and hasty review of all blog posts regarding the law." [The Awl]

$$$ Facebook to Buy Instagram For $1 Billion [WSJ] $$$ "[R]ight before its billion dollar acquisition from Facebook, Instagram closed a $50 million Series B round from Sequoia, Josh Kushner’s Thrive Capital, Greylock and Benchmark at a $500 million valuation. ... Investors, many of whom didn’t know about the Facebook acquisition, literally doubled their money (which was wired to Instagram last Thursday) overnight." [TC] $$$ Feds aim to sack former Bears QB Jim McMahon over bad bank loans [Chicago Sun-Times] $$$ "JOBS Act won't mean mass marketing for hedge funds." Just a few discreet ads on Dealbreaker. [AR-Alpha] $$$ John Mack: “You have to do what makes you passionate and turns you on. And this really turns me on.” "Selling women's shoes? [NYM] $$$ Are you in business school and looking for a job? T. Rowe Price is looking for an MBA intern in its global investment services division [DBCC] $$$ What if the Sky Fell? [Bloomberg TV] $$$ Banks test ‘CDOs’ for trade finance [FT] $$$ Bank of America, Barclays Deny Illegal Acts Over Archstone [Bloomberg] $$$ William Cohan thinks that an FDA for financial products is a silly idea; update your priors [Bloomberg, earlier] $$$ ‘The Unchosen Ones,’ a proposed reality TV series, focuses on former Hasidic Jews [NYDN] $$$ The Jennifer Love Hewitt Handjob Hour Is The Funniest New Show On TV [Gawker]

$$$ Rick Santorum drops out of the presidential race [WaPo] $$$ Alcoa Posts Surprise Profit After Aluminum Orders Climb [Bloomberg] $$$ Hedge funds lag the market, again [Fortune] $$$ Dan Loeb has convinced Yahoo that it's time to move forward with some buzzwords [AllThingsD] $$$ "The conventional wisdom that Facebook sees Instagram as competition is not the whole story. It may also see Instagram as particularly advertiser-friendly content that its users currently have trouble producing. Think of it as a $1 billion way to make your parents’ status updates more interesting." [Reuters / Ryan McCarthy] $$$ Interested in behavioral economics? Then don't buy Karl Daniels's Fast and Slow Thinking. [Language Log] $$$ Mitt Romney Is Doing ‘Gay Voice’ in This Video, Says Professional Gay Voice Expert Bob Corff [Gawker] $$$ How would you like to be a portfolio management associate at Starwood Capital in Greenwich? [DBCC] $$$ NY pushes objection to BofA $8.5 billion mortgage pact [Reuters] $$$ "Court: Checking Facebook on Your Work Computer Isn't a Crime." Other courts disagree. [WSJ Law Blog] $$$ "For the first time in its 4 1/2 year life, a program on the Fox Business Network has topped a show on CNBC for an entire week in both Total Viewers and younger viewers." [TVNewser via Talking Biz News] $$$ What Do Europe's Pirate Parties Stand for? [Bloomberg] $$$ This happened [BI] $$$ Mayonnaise Store Now Open in Prospect Heights [Brownstoner] $$$ 5-year-old brings heroin for 'show and tell' [Stamford Advocate]

$$$ As His Fraud Trial Opens, Ex-UBS Trader Is Accused of Brazen Gambling [DealBook] $$$ Thanks, Goldman, for Giving My Peers Their Lives Back [Bloomberg] $$$ FDIC’s Hoenig Wants Simpler Rules Than Basel III [Deal Journal] $$$ Occupy Wall Street's one-year anniversary demonstrations start tomorrow [The Awl] $$$ Hard-money types talk too much about the gold standard, not enough about the bacon standard [CNBC] $$$ "I'm kind of a Snooki fan. Look how tiny's she's gotten. She's lost weight. She's energetic. Just her spark-plug personality is kind of fun." - Mitt Romney [DI] $$$ TIAA-CREF is looking for an insurance wholesaling director in Boston [DBCC] $$$ Miller Says U.S. Should Issue Simplified Volcker Rule [Bloomberg] $$$ Private equity needs more strategic deals [Term Sheet] $$$ Home Depot is leaving China, "where cheap labor has stunted the do-it-yourself ethos and apartment-based living leaves scarce demand for products like lumber" [WSJ] $$$ Allocating Risk Through Contract: Evidence from M&A and Policy Implications [Harvard Law] $$$ Naked German monk found wandering Bavarian forest after tripping on some bad berries [NYDN]

$$$ Europe Considers a Spanish Bank Rescue [Bloomberg] $$$ S&P says U.S. to avoid "fiscal cliff", risks remain [Reuters] $$$ "The fact is that if UBS ended up losing anywhere close to $350 million on Facebook stock, it has no business being in the equity capital markets at all." [Felix Salmon] $$$ Groupon is Now Giving Groupons ... for Groupon [NYO] $$$ Who cheats more, bankers or politicians? Disappointingly, bankers, according to a survey conducted in bars [Wonkblog] $$$ John Carney takes the pulse of Wall Streeters "waiting for a fourth martini at a once-fashionable midtown bar," "at a tavern along a cobble-stoned street in the financial district," "[a]t Stone Rose in the Time Warner center" and "having a drink with a colleague at Emmett O’Lunney’s" [NetNet] $$$ Are you a credit risk specialist? Any interest in analyzing credit risk for the National Rural Utilities Cooperative Finance Corporation in Dulles, VA? [DBCC] $$$ Citi Won't Request Stock Buyback This Year [WSJ] $$$ Gupta ‘Highly Likely’ to Take the Stand, Lawyer Says [WSJ Law Blog] $$$ After reading a passage about the prospect of Goldman buying a bank, Mr. Naftalis asked the chief executive if he had read the portion correctly. “Yes,” replied a smiling Mr. Blankfein, who glanced from the jury to the judge. “You read it well.” Judge Jed Rakoff, prone to making jokes during trial himself, belted out a laugh, and the courtroom followed. [DealBook] $$$ This year’s Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest is expected to be even more heated than usual now that ESPN, which televises the July 4 competition, has pushed the start time later to accommodate the sports network’s first-ever coverage of Wimbledon. ... Major League Eating president George Shea said he expects the later 3 p.m. start time to also drive up ratings for the glutton-fest, which attracted 1.9 million live viewers last year. But he admits the mid-afternoon heat “should make it much more difficult” for the dog devourers to break Joey Chestnut’s 2009 world record of 68 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes. “Heat causes the buns to crisp up more and the dogs to expand, making a run at the record nearly impossible,” said professional eater and perennial Nathan’s contestant Jason “Crazy Legs” Conti. [NYP] $$$ Vampire High Priest Loses Religious Civil Rights Case [ATL]