$$$ Something something something "[Bernanke] must once again address whether there is more the Fed can do to get the economy going and whether it is worth taking chances on controversial new programs" [WSJ] $$$ Brussels pushes for wide ECB powers [FT] $$$ Google, Apple CEOs in secret patent talks [Reuters] $$$ Goldman is struggling to sell an ABS deal backed by Bob Dylan royalties, inspiring many FT jokes [FT] $$$ Chipotle caught STEALING pennies from hapless customers nationwide in deceptive receipt rounding scandal [Daily Mail] $$$ Kelly & Dylan finally get together [NYP] $$$ A bulge bracket bank in New York is looking for a senior internal audit manager [DBCC] $$$ Guy voting Republican [CNBC] $$$ Sharp Elbows Among Street Lawmen [WSJ] $$$ Citi is looking for a little more space [WSJ] $$$ "A 97-year-old message in a bottle found by Scottish fishermen in their catch has set the world record for spending the longest time at sea." [Bloomberg] $$$ Over 100 students in Harvard's "Intro to Congress" class are being investigated for cheating [Crimson]

$$$ Judge Approves Payout to MF Global Customers $$$ Dell Buyout Deal Could Come as Soon as Monday [Reuters] $$$ US banks squeezed as mortgage profits hit [FT] $$$ High Drama at CFTC: The Battle Over Swaps and Futures [BBW] $$$ UBS Set to Classify Bond-Buying Clients as 'Aggressive' Investors [FBN] $$$ "We were served water, at exactly the right cool temperature, yet without ice cubes"; also Bill Gates was there [MR] $$$ Aston Martin in Barn With Mouse Nest May Fetch $300,000 [Bloomberg] $$$ A highly respected bank is looking for a senior associate and a VP/director to originate, structure, and market credit-based structured products in New York [DBCC] $$$ SNS Nationalized in Netherlands After Real Estate Losses [Bloomberg] $$$ Swap mis-sellingand the dark heart of the City [Telegraph] $$$ Banks slow crisis money repayment to ECB [Reuters] $$$ Twitter nears $10 billion valuation [Fortune] $$$ Sociology of the evolution of electronic trading [Jayanth R. Varma] $$$ Half of students in Harvard cheating scandal required to withdraw from the college [Boston.com]

$$$ Banks’ M&A earnings drop to Lehman low [FT] $$$ Spain's crisis budget aims at spending cuts not tax rises [Reuters] $$$ There isn't really a Spanish deposit flight [FTAV] $$$ SEC Charges Investment Bank Analyst with Illegally Tipping College Friend About Nonpublic Merger Deals [SEC] $$$ Lawyer for Ex-Goldman Programmer Criticizes Prosecutors and Firm [DealBook] $$$ "Hedge Fund Pivot Joins BTG to Defy Bacon’s Investment Desert" is a real Bloomberg headline [Bloomberg] $$$ Canada cheese-smuggling ring busted [BBC] $$$ TCW is looking for a credit analyst in LA [DBCC] $$$ RIM's Earnings Beat Expectations; Shares Up 16% [WSJ] $$$ Geithner Urges an Overhaul of Rules on Money Market Funds [DealBook] $$$ SEC’s Gallagher Calls for Floating Price for Money Market Funds [Bloomberg] $$$ Mortgage rates are at all-time lows [CR] $$$ Houses on "Places" cost more than houses on "Streets" [Atlantic Cities] $$$ This happened [Twitter]

$$$ Slow U.S. Hiring May Spur Fed [WSJ] $$$ Germany faces ECB backlash [FT] $$$ Dealer inventories of corporate bonds are at a ten-year low [FTAV] $$$ New York AG Eric Schneiderman's investigation into whether private equity firms illegally converted ordinary income into capital gains is complicated by the fact that ordinary income and capital gains are taxed at the same rate in New York [Reuters] $$$ "From 1971 to the present, money market funds without defaulted securities would have a shadow NAV below 0.995 15.4% of the time" due to interest rate movements [Aleph Blog] $$$ Wells Fargo broke into a house, took all the owners' stuff, destroyed it, found out that it was the wrong house [CBS] $$$ Peregrine Financial is missing its SpongeBob SquarePants silver coins [NYO] $$$ Citi is looking for an audit manager - mortgages in New York [DBCC] $$$ "Xstrata is indicating it thinks that retaining its management in the top positions may be worth more than that $4.5 billion. Now that is a valuable management." [WSJ / Dealpolitik] $$$ ICP Asset Management paid $23 million to settle its SEC suit over mismanaging its CDOs [SEC] $$$ Jim O'Neill hits out at 'weird world of benchmarking [Citywire] $$$ Rajaratnam's insider-trading appeal set for Oct. 25 [Reuters] $$$ World's Best Internship—Interviewing Porn Stars [CNBC] $$$ Restaurant Owner Creates Fake Sex Site Profile for Patron Who Posted Negative Review Online [Gawker]

$$$ Fed's Early Minutes Release Went to Some Banks [WSJ] $$$ Ex-SAC Trader Gets Court Permission for African Honeymoon [DealBook] $$$ Dimon Sees More Regulator Scrutiny After Whale Loss [Bloomberg] $$$ FBI found KPMG auditor via golf buddy, his lawyer says [Reuters] $$$ Goldman deal with union group lets Blankfein keep dual roles [Reuters] $$$ Underdog Undergrads From Jersey City Win Investing Competition [MarketBeat] $$$ Dodd-Frank 'Written in Anger,' Needs Fixing: Chamber CEO [CNBC] $$$ Chaos of rulings on toxic CDOs means uncertainty for investors [Reuters] $$$ Bank Investors Press Breakups to Add Value, Burnell Says [Bloomberg] $$$ 'Warehouse Games': Base Metals Supply Crunch on the Horizon? [AOL Energy] $$$ S&P, TrueEX Team Up on CDS Futures [WSJ] $$$ Beyonce and Jay-Z Cuba Trip Called ‘Educational’ by Treasury [Bloomberg]

$$$ You can still drink big sodas [NYP] $$$ Bank compensation up in 2012 despite cutback efforts [Reuters] $$$ Morgan Stanley Set to Name Kaminsky Brokerage Vice Chair [FBN] $$$ Mary Schapiro Is Nominated to G.E. Board [DealBook] $$$ The life cycle of the investment banker [TED] $$$ City high-flier 'was called crazy Miss Cokehead by work bullies after she blew whistle on insider dealing' [DM] $$$ Brookfield Investment Management is looking for a global infrastructure securities analyst in Chicago [DBCC] $$$ Europe trading tax would kill repo market -industry official [Reuters] $$$ SAC Capital Manager’s Tipper Deserves Prison, U.S. Says [Bloomberg] $$$ "Long term shareholders are well served by activism" [Aswath Damodaran] $$$ "Callan hardly needs advice from me but I'll offer it anyway. She may want to consider that her lack of satisfaction with her life's direction is not a product of the choices she made. Instead, her choices may have been a product of her lack of satisfaction. In my experience, the kind of people who can rise to the level she did at a relatively early age tend to be filling a hole in their psyche, an indistinguishable yearning for something more that is experienced as a kind of pain." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Corey Robin went to school with Bill[y] Ackman [Corey Robin]

$$$ JPMorgan is the best place to work, according to the Vault Guide [DealBook] $$$ "Morgan Stanley's wealth management chief, Greg Fleming, has just concluded a seven-city tour of the firm’s brokerage offices in an attempt to stem a broker revolt over the company’s new technology system that contains so many glitches that brokers often cannot sign-up new clients." [FBN, earlier] $$$ Ex-Jet Chrebet Among Top Wealth Managers Leaving Morgan Stanley for Barclays [Deal Journal] $$$ A fourth trader under scrutiny in JPM "Whale" probe [Reuters] $$$ "What the ECB is doing, in essence, is setting itself up as the shadow government of Italy, Spain, Portugal, and perhaps Ireland." [Slate / Matt Yglesias] $$$ Court to decide if lap dancing is a tax-exempt art form [USAT] $$$ Morgan Stanley Smith Barney is looking for a suspicious activity monitoring and investigations analyst [DBCC] $$$ Greenhill Expands Capital Advisory Group [DealBook] $$$ Investors are buying California school district bonds [WSJ] $$$ The ‘mystery Libor’ precedent [FTAV] $$$ Why Yes, It Is Time for Homemade Satellites [BBW] $$$ What Famous People Smell Like [The Awl]

$$$ Geithner: Ready to Go Over 'Cliff' If Taxes Don't Rise [CNBC] $$$ Republicans weigh swallowing tax hike on the wealthy [Reuters] $$$ SEC's Top Markets Official to Leave [WSJ] $$$ Wells Fargo Banker Sued by SEC in Probe of Insider Trading [Bloomberg] $$$ Paulson Says Real-Estate Fund Performing Well [WSJ] $$$ John McAfee Seeks Asylum, Thanks God for 'Sanity' [ABC] $$$ A Chicago-based proprietary trading firm is looking to hire a quantitative futures analyst/trader [DBCC] $$$ Facebook To Join QQQ’s Index Dec. 12 [IndexUniverse] $$$ Nasdaq attorney calls on SEC to review proxy rules [Reuters] $$$ Europe bond market set for holdout reform [FT] $$$ Will Citi's Massive Layoffs Be Enough? [CNBC] $$$ Man Shoots Girlfriend in the Back for Not Taking the Possibility of a Zombie Apocalypse Seriously [Gawker]