US wins Libor-rigging case; Lynn Tilton sues MBIA; Lockhart sees rate liftoff soon; "Austrian 85-year-old cuts almost a million euros ($1.1 million) into tiny pieces in an apparent attempt to spite her heirs"; and more.

$$$ Hedge fund performance YTD: Paul Tudor Jones +1.59%, David Einhorn +3.7%, Dan Loeb +3.9%, HFRX Global Index +1.22%, S&P +8% [Reuters] $$$ For Fletcher Investors: Unhappy Returns and, So Far, No Refunds [WSJ] $$$ Money market funds close after ECB cut [FT] $$$ CNBC thinks it's important to report the "hot news story" of Libor manipulation without mentioning Libor, for some reason [CNBC] $$$ Marxism is back [Guardian] $$$ Massachusetts man pays off mortgage with pennies [AP] $$$ A Chicago hedge fund is looking for a quant trader/ quant strategist to join a high frequency trading team [DBCC] $$$ Italy Approves €4.5 Billion in Spending Cuts for 2012 [WSJ] $$$ Commercial Mortgages Show How Bad It Got [NYT] $$$ Reverse mortgages: the celebrity pitchman aren’t even the worst part [Reuters / Ben Walsh] $$$ You can predict the outcome of negotiations and business pitches without hearing a word by observing the ratio of speaking to listening and the amount of voice fluctuation [Farnam Street] $$$ It's going to be 105 degrees in New York tomorrow, so that's nice [DI]

$$$ Eurozone deal over bank bailout in doubt [FT] $$$ U.K. Bankers Group to Stop Overseeing Libor [WSJ] $$$ The Smith Barney Name Still Lives (Sort of) [Deal Journal] $$$ Mason Capital may lose money on its delightful Telus trade [DealBook] $$$ Actually, business and political leaders aren't that stressed [LAT] $$$ “I’ve had to sit here all night staring at a whale,” [Jes] Staley said last night, a few hours into a gala for the NYU Langone Medical Center’s Hospital for Joint Diseases and Center for Musculoskeletal Care. He was accepting an award for corporate leadership. Staley then suggested the whale could be replaced with the squid in the room, which, he clarified afterward, meant Goldman Sachs Group Inc., represented by his friend Gary D. Cohn, chairman of the dinner and the hospital’s advisory board. Rolling Stone writer Matt Taibbi called Goldman a “vampire squid.” All this took place about 20 feet from a diorama depicting a battle between a sperm whale and a giant squid. Which creature will triumph is unclear, though squid have been found in whales’ stomachs. [Bloomberg] $$$ Macquarie's Credit Solutions Group, a distressed and special situations financing group, is looking for a 2nd or 3rd-year analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ Or just be an event coordinator for Breaking Media [Fashionista] $$$ Uber Bear Sees S&P at 800...Just Not Yet [CNBC!] $$$ Eighth Grader Says He Vandalized Congressman’s Office [NYT] $$$ Mitt Romney Stops Supporters from Chanting ‘Ryan’ to Ensure They Say His Name Too [Gawker] $$$ Police launched investigation into the 'suspicious' moon [Telegraph]

$$$ Former Barclays trader "has cooperated" with Libor probe [Reuters] $$$ Towards a transaction-based Libor [FTAV, and the Wheatley Review] $$$ Carl Levin not letting up on Goldman Sachs [Politico] $$$ SEC Asked Herbalife Same Questions Einhorn Raised [Deal Journal, earlier, also] $$$ Here’s Rex Ryan Wearing An “I’d Hit That” Shirt [Deadspin] $$$ How would you like to be a financial industry recruiter at The Bachrach Group in New York? [DBCC] $$$ Icahn accuses Forest of hiding poison pill agreements [Reuters] $$$ Ex-Carlyle Consultant Gets Probation For Insider Trading [Bloomberg] $$$ Job Churn Hits Insider Probe [WSJ] $$$ The first known use of "OMG" was in a 1917 letter to Winston Churchill [BuzzFeed]

RBC says "Fed just threw kerosene on the fire"; Pimco thriving without Bill; Yale money managers top Harvard money managers; "A Pennsylvania congressman said he swiped Pope Francis' abandoned glass of water following his address to Congress and sipped it with his wife and staffers"; and more.

Malcom Gladwell is not happy about John Paulson's $400 million gift to Harvard; UBS chiefs knew about Libor rigging; Insider trading; Bitcoin; "High School Baseball Teammates Allegedly Have Sex With Sandwich On School Bus"; and more.

$$$ Hedge Fund Manager Found Guilty of Insider Trading [DealBook] $$$ Citi chief rejects calls for bank splits [FT] $$$ E.C.B. Rejects Speculation About Its Bond-Buying Intentions [NYT] $$$ Condoleeza Rice and Darla Moore became the first women admitted to Augusta National [USAT] $$$ Apple Market Value Hits Record High $$$ Kansas lawmaker apologizes for nude Sea of Galilee swim [AP] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for an anti-money-laundering due diligence manager in New York [DBCC] $$$ Banks Use $1.77 Trillion To Double Treasury Purchases [Bloomberg] $$$ UBS Seeing Moat Of Secrecy Run Dry Vows Results To Lure Wealthy [Bloomberg] $$$ "Inspired by Google’s PageRank, the authors of a new paper create DebtRank, a measure of connection centrality. The vertical axis in the following diagram shows DebtRank (centrality) the horizontal axis asset shows size relative to the total network and the color indicates fragility/leverage. Institutions such as Wachovia, RBS and Barclays were relatively small but because of their centrality and fragility they imposed big risks on the system." [MR] $$$ Would it be better if analysts started earnings call Q&As by saying "terrible quarter, guys"? [Overheard]

$$$ Geithner plans financial crisis book [CNN, earlier] $$$ Former Top Media Banker Sues Los Angeles and 2 Police Officers [DealBook, earlier] $$$ LionTree Advisors zooms up the M&A league tables [Bloomberg] $$$ "In his closely watched annual letter, Tilson said his Kase Fund - formerly T2 Partners before he split with Glenn Tongue last year - lost 1.7 percent compared to the Standard & Poor's 500 total return of 16 percent. He attributed the weakness to a highly correlated market that made divergences difficult to find." [CNBC] $$$ Ask Matt Taibbi anything on Reddit tomorrow [RS] $$$ Employment Agency Apologizes For Hooking Teen Up with Brothel Job [Gawker] $$$ PSEG is looking for a quantitative analyst to join its Energy Resource and Trade business in Newark [DBCC] $$$ RBS didn't admit to systematically lowering Libor during the crisis [Bloomberg] $$$ TIPS spreads remain correlated with equities [Money Illusion] $$$ Money Market Funds Intermediation, Bank Instability, and Contagion [FRBNY] $$$ The Risk Ownership Society [Dissent / Steve Randy Waldman] $$$ Christie Calls Doctor Who Raised Weight Concerns a ‘Hack’ [Bloomberg]