$$$ Goldman Banker Probed for Alleged Leaks to Galleon [WSJ] $$$ S&P cuts Spain ratings two notches to BBB-plus [Reuters] $$$ "AIG May Not Be As Healthy As It Looks" [Bloomberg] $$$ The Telus proxy fight is amazing [DealBook] $$$ Legalizing Spousal Necrophilia in Egypt, but only for the first six hours [Volokh Conspiracy] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a VP of Corporate Tax in Chicago - maybe you? [DBCC] $$$ Relax, America, the Bacon Crisis Has Passed [CNBC] $$$ CEO pay is inflated by faulty comp sets [Bloomberg] $$$ A strange data point on flows vs. inventories [FTAV] $$$ Bank bailouts, hedge funds, and foreign sovereign immunity [Economist] $$$ "We do not accept claims for elbow licking." [The Hairpin] $$$ Here is a baby anteater named Corndog hugging a stuffed animal [ZooBorns]

$$$ Something something something ECB bond-buying [FT] $$$ Banker Bonuses At Risk As EU Lawmakers Fight Barnier Plans [Bloomberg] $$$ Yelp Surges After Lockup Expires [DealBook] $$$ M&A volumes are down but at least there are a lot of small deals [DealBook] $$$ People prefer potential success to actual success in hiring [HBR] $$$ "At each of its most efficient restaurants, Chipotle averages more than 350 transactions during the lunch hour — about one every 11 seconds." [WSJ, related?] $$$ Prudential is looking for a fixed income senior associate [DBCC] $$$ Greg Fleming won't run E*Trade [Term Sheet] $$$ "The interests of PE firms and their investors do not coincide with the companies that have been taken over, not in the way that Romney and his adherents would have you believe." Matt Taibbi gropes toward a theory of the corporation. [RS] $$$ Bond-Trading Firm Gleacher Said To Seek Buyer [Bloomberg] $$$ Barack Obama does a Reddit AskMeAnything, doesn't really answer anything [Reddit] $$$ Romney Party Yacht Flies Cayman Islands Flag [ABC]

$$$ S&P, Fitch face trial over Italy downgrades [Reuters] $$$ Kodak Reaches Financing Deal With Bondholders [WSJ] $$$ "Investors in the US are marking down the prices of securities backed by mortgages written before the financial crisis, anticipating that the re-election of President Barack Obama presages a new effort to help distressed borrowers refinance their loans." [FT] $$$ Jon Ronson: "I had Nostradamus-like sense that things were going to go wrong in the credit industry. And I became obsessed with trying to tell that story. ... But I couldn't do it. And the reason was because I kept on meeting people who worked in the credit industry and they were really boring. I couldn't make them light up the page. And, as I said in The Psychopath Test, if you want to get away with wielding true malevolent power, be boring." [The Awl] $$$ "Armed with camcorders and Velcro, a group of activists hope to prove that mountain lions call Connecticut home despite assurances by the state that the big cats are out-of-towners." [Stamford Advocate] $$$ Consider buying a signed print of Geoffrey Raymond's Ina Drew painting [Annotated Paintings] $$$ LLOYD! [Sandy Sucks] $$$ A major insurance company is looking for quants to cover fixed income products, fixed income derivatives and structured products in New York [DBCC] $$$ Coal CEO Prays For Deliverance from Obama, Fires Workers [Slate] $$$ Exchanges Route Away From NYSE After Trading Glitch [WSJ] $$$ AIG keen to sell bank, expand in mortgages: CEO [Reuters] $$$ Baby Boomers Blunt Fed Easing While Saving for Retirement [Bloomberg] $$$ Businessweek criticized for poll on hot female b-school students [TBN] $$$ Mary-Kate Olsen Shares PDA with Older Boyfriend Olivier Sarkozy [toofab]

$$$ Fed makes new rate pledge as it launches fresh stimulus [Reuters] $$$ 'Cliff' Talks at Standstill: 'It's Getting Worse, Not Better' [CNBC] $$$ Deutsche Chiefs Under Investigation in Tax Probe [WSJ] $$$ Biggest Opportunity Will Be Shorting the Bond Market: Dalio [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Thoughts on third-century A.D. monetary policy [FTAV / Izabella Kaminska] $$$ John McAfee is coming home, "also explained that he'd been secretly using a 'tiny laptop' and a fake name to keep up with his website while in custody." [DI] $$$ PEAK6 Investments is looking for an accounting associate to join its Finance team in Chicago [DBCC] $$$ Greece's lenders call bond buyback a success, endorse aid [Reuters] $$$ Calpers Bankruptcy Strategy Pits Retirees vs. All Others [Bloomberg] $$$ The Evolution of Super Senior CDS [TF Markets] $$$ "So how do you celebrate the end of a late-night bankruptcy auction that brought in nearly $257 million for your client, the government-backed battery maker A123 Systems Inc.?" McDonald's [Bankruptcy Beat] $$$ Chris Christie: I’m not too fat for the White House [Politico]

$$$ Stocks Near New Heights as Small Investors Regain Faith [NYT] $$$ J.P. Morgan Risk Officer Taking Leave of Absence [WSJ] $$$ Soros Says Hedge Funds Can’t Beat Market Because of Fees [Bloomberg] $$$ UBS Chairman proposes industry-wide settlement over Libor [Reuters] $$$ "One explanation for the confusion is that many things that are considered normal in finance look like fraud to almost everyone else." [Free Exchange] $$$ Outcry Over Bid to Make Water Cheaper Than Beer [WSJ] $$$ An investment management firm is looking for a senior investment associate to research credit hedge funds in D.C. [DBCC] $$$ Europe's Banks Rush to Repay ECB Funds [WSJ] $$$ U.S. Court Ruling Threatens Consumer Bureau Decisions [Bloomberg] $$$ Italy's Monte Paschi faces shareholder fury as scandal widens [Reuters] $$$ You may be surprised to learn that "the president and chairman of Mortgage Xpress, Inc. (subsequently renamed The Alternative Energy Technology Center, Inc.)" was sued by the SEC [SEC] $$$ Cory Booker Continues His Steady March Toward Canonization by Personally Saving a Stranded Dog from Freezing to Death [Gawker]

$$$ Inside a Star Hedge Fund: Lots of Big Bets, Built Fast [WSJ] $$$ Fed pushes banks to ignore rivals when setting bonuses [Reuters] $$$ JPMorgan Board Backs CEO Dimon as Chairman, Pays Zames More [Bloomberg] $$$ The Senate Drafts the SEC's Case Against JPMorgan [BBW] $$$ "A J.P. Morgan Chase employee climbed onstage at a black-tie dinner held on Wall Street Thursday night and accepted an award on behalf of the embattled bank for 'best crisis management.' ... Kathy Hu, an executive director in J.P. Morgan’s investor relations department, accepted the award and quipped: 'Can I just say, "Crisis? What crisis?"' J.P. Morgan beat out nominees Chevron Corp., which struggled with a refinery fire last year, and St. Jude Medical Inc., which battled heart-device problems." [Deal Journal] $$$ Pope calls Argentine kiosk owner to cancel paper delivery [CNA] $$$ Hey, Let Harvard Alumni Have Their Fun This Morning [DI] $$$ Deutsche Bank mulls raising fixed pay to counter EU bonus rules [Reuters] $$$ Judges’ Spat Strikes a Chord Among Deal Makers [DealBook] $$$ "Now some distressed debt investors get to find out what exactly it is you buy when you buy American-issued debt in a company incorporated in the Cayman Islands and doing business in China. I suspect the answer will be 'not much.'" [DealBook] $$$ "Henry Blodget is, in all seriousness, an artist of the internet whose methods should be studied and analyzed for future generations." [Gawker] $$$ "Finally I should note that the rectal gonorrhoea is the reason for my odour." Investment research! [Bronte Capital]

$$$ Greek Aid Payment Call Won’t Be Made Next Week, EU Official Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Dexia Gets a New Bailout [DealBook] $$$ Obama Victory Leads Wealthy to Make Quick Pre-2013 Moves [Bloomberg] $$$ "The ECB is playing a more complicated game than old fashioned 'loose money to counteract downturns, tight money to counteract inflation' monetary policy. And you have to ask yourself: Is it working? Has this delivered prosperity?" [Slate / Matt Yglesias] $$$ The guy who was going to fire all of his employees if Obama got elected, gave them a 5% raise [BBW] $$$ Priceline.com Impulsively Buys Kayak During Mini Existential Crisis [VF] $$$ JPMorgan is looking for a high-net-worth banker in Chicago [DBCC] $$$ JPMorgan Cleared for $3 Billion Stock Buyback [DealBook] $$$ Libor rates cull proposed for April [FT] $$$ Consulting Firm That Once Advised Gadhafi Enters Chapter 11 [WSJ] $$$ Here you will find a review of Atlas Shrugged [The Awl] $$$ "As he wended his way toward proposing an April trial date for Christopher's claims and Tory's counterclaims, Strine reflected on the (in his view) unwarranted popularity of 'duck boots,' the mysterious utility of the Topsiders his son just bought and the strangely bright colors of WASP-preferred styles." [Reuters] $$$ "'Paying bills,' Mr. Adelson said on Tuesday night when asked by a Norwegian reporter how he thought his donations had been spent. 'That’s how you spend money. Either that or become a Jewish husband — you spend a lot of money.'" [DI]

$$$ Schaeuble Declares Markets Wrong As Europe Heads To Vacation [Bloomberg] $$$ Don't Force Banks Into 'Draconian' Breakups: Whitney [CNBC] $$$ Morgan Stanley Stock May Be Worth $32 In Breakup, Mayo Says [Bloomberg] $$$ The Merkley plan to refinance underwater mortgages sounds pretty good [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Outspoken Analyst Kinnucan Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ Man who rescued a 17-pound lobster "felt the nearly 100-year-old crustacean did not deserve to die with its parts soaked in butter. 'If he was 100, he saw World War I, World War II, man on the moon,' he said. 'Being in New England, he even saw the Red Sox win the World Series. So, he didn’t deserve the boiling water.'" [CBS] $$$ Due to recent regulatory requirements, a top bank in Charlotte is looking for a counterparty credit risk manager to be a Basel expert [DBCC] $$$ Libor scandal makes it more costly for bankers to get insured [Reuters] $$$ Europe Aims to Make Rate Manipulation a Criminal Offense [DealBook] $$$ Fund managers to lose securities lending profits [FT] $$$ The Securities and Exchange Commission drew sharp criticism from a federal judge who said they have failed to properly oversee a $55 million investor education fund created by a nearly decade-old settlement with Wall Street banks. The fund had been created as part of a roughly $1.5 billion regulatory accord in 2003 with Citigroup Inc, Goldman Sachs Group Inc, JPMorgan Chase & Co and other banks accused of publishing biased analyst research. U.S. District Judge William Pauley in Manhattan said the SEC has shown a "lack of oversight" and "indifference" toward how a nonprofit organization charged with distributing the money has been managed. ... Pauley pointed as an example to a two-year, $91,500 grant to the Genesee District Library in Flint, Michigan, that appeared to have resulted in just two events, one of which concerned "spending, sharing, and saving" for children ages two to five. "While there may be benefits to starting investor education early, toddlers seem beyond the pale," the judge wrote in an order issued Wednesday. [Reuters] $$$ Mitt Romney would restore 'Anglo-Saxon' relations between Britain and America [Telegraph]