$$$ Standard Chartered Accused of Hiding Transactions With Iranians $$$ Banks Say Loan Applications Rise [WSJ] $$$ Chesapeake asset sale lifts profits, shares rise [Reuters] $$$ Swiss Brace for Talks with US on Secret Accounts [Reuters] $$$ U.S. judo Olympian kicked out for "accidentally" eating pot [NYDN] $$$ Harvard Management is looking for a quantitative risk analytics senior associate and a position management associate [DBCC] $$$ Magnetar synthetic CDO construction and marketing: the emails [ProPublica] $$$ German bank has CDO case against Aladdin, court says [Reuters] $$$ Facebook Bears Garner 500% Profit From Structured Product Bets [Bloomberg] $$$ What Mitt Romney Bought at the Hardware Store [DI]

$$$ How Morgan Stanley sank to junk status [Reuters] $$$ Rosengren Says Renewing Operation Twist Would Spur Growth; in other news the 10-year hit 1.437% today [Bloomberg] $$$ Defiant Spain to test the bond market [FT] $$$ Egan-Jones cuts Italy to B+, says economy "miserable" [Reuters] $$$ Rajat Gupta’s Wealth in Spotlight at Trial [DealBook] $$$ Man Sentenced For Abandoning Teen Daughter Due to Her Poor Calculus Grade $$$ A highly regarded advisory firm is looking for a life sciences investment banking associate [DBCC] $$$ Bankruptcy Court Approves Dynegy Settlement With Creditors [WSJ] $$$ Chesapeake Oil Well Is Biggest Gusher In Company History [Bloomberg] $$$ A central-bank failure of epic proportions [Economist / Free Exchange] $$$ The National Review runs an article endorsing NGDP targeting [NR] $$$ Hockey Mom Madam wants bail reduced so she can care for her son

$$$ U.S. To Sell $4.5 Billion In AIG Stock In Public Offering [Bloomberg] $$$ Hiring Climbs but Jobless Rate Ticks Up [WSJ] $$$ Bloomberg wants to develop a Libor alternative and call it Blibor [WSJ] $$$ What's the Exxon Valdez up to these days? [Bloomberg] $$$ "I think there's just something about getting into chlorine water that you just automatically go." - Ryan Lochte [AP] $$$ An investing bank is looking for a Ph.D. quant for their derivatives modeling team, if that's of interest [DBCC] $$$ Or consider supporting a second edition of Doug Henwood's book Wall Street, "the best leftwing book on actually-existing-capitalism that’s been written in the last couple of decades," if that's more your thing [Crooked Timber] $$$ Financial weapons of mass irony [Reuters] $$$ Futures are swaps in reality but not in regulatory arbitrage [Streetwise Professor] $$$ Mustaches keep you safe from radiation [WaPo]

$$$ Alcoa Swings to a Profit [WSJ] $$$ SAC Capital Said to Raise Portfolio Managers’ Bonuses [Bloomberg] $$$ Titan's taste for small funds seen behind its SAC exit [Reuters] $$$ Dimon Leaves New York Fed Board as His Term Ends [DealBook] $$$ What The Simpsons Taught Us About the Dangers of a Trillion-Dollar Platinum Coin [DI] $$$ An investment manager is looking for a senior portfolio analyst in Seattle [DBCC] $$$ Dealpolitik: How AIG Board Works Its Way Out of the Hot Seat [Deal Journal] $$$ Lawmakers Warn A.I.G. Not to Join Lawsuit Against U.S. [DealBook] $$$ Why AIG Suing America Isn't as Crazy as You Think [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Clearwire Receives $5.15 Billion Buyout Bid from Dish [WSJ] $$$ Oregon Man Arrested for Choking Girlfriend With His Own Dreadlocks [Gawker]

$$$ Hedge fund chief Einhorn disappoints, Loeb has big 2012 [Reuters] $$$ JPMorgan Faces Sanction for Withholding Madoff Documents [Bloomberg] $$$ Ackman's Herbalife thesis: someone from the government will help poor people and billionaire hedge fund managers ... [Bronte Capital] $$$ Connections are key for the careers of male Wall Street analysts. For females, it’s education and forecast accuracy [AEI] $$$ Tom Wolfe: "Up until 2006 a spirit of manly daring had pervaded Wall Street’s investment bankers" but apparently not any more [Newsweek] $$$ ‘Teens’ Caught Egging Suburban Home Turn Out to Be Off-Duty Police Officers [Gawker] $$$ Mosaic Financial Markets is looking for a capital markets business analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ You should buy a lot of Turkish stocks because they're guaranteed to go up! [Bloomberg, FTAV] $$$ New rule could turn U.S. hedge funds into informers on fraud [Reuters] $$$ Cerberus Close to Supervalu Deal [WSJ] $$$ How the World Has Changed [Alea] $$$ Historical Echoes: The Origins of the Piggy Bank [NY Fed] $$$ Finally, the Accessory We’ve Been Waiting For: A Wearable Cat Tail That Wags In Response to Your Heartbeat [Fashionista]

$$$ Eurozone deal over bank bailout in doubt [FT] $$$ U.K. Bankers Group to Stop Overseeing Libor [WSJ] $$$ The Smith Barney Name Still Lives (Sort of) [Deal Journal] $$$ Mason Capital may lose money on its delightful Telus trade [DealBook] $$$ Actually, business and political leaders aren't that stressed [LAT] $$$ “I’ve had to sit here all night staring at a whale,” [Jes] Staley said last night, a few hours into a gala for the NYU Langone Medical Center’s Hospital for Joint Diseases and Center for Musculoskeletal Care. He was accepting an award for corporate leadership. Staley then suggested the whale could be replaced with the squid in the room, which, he clarified afterward, meant Goldman Sachs Group Inc., represented by his friend Gary D. Cohn, chairman of the dinner and the hospital’s advisory board. Rolling Stone writer Matt Taibbi called Goldman a “vampire squid.” All this took place about 20 feet from a diorama depicting a battle between a sperm whale and a giant squid. Which creature will triumph is unclear, though squid have been found in whales’ stomachs. [Bloomberg] $$$ Macquarie's Credit Solutions Group, a distressed and special situations financing group, is looking for a 2nd or 3rd-year analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ Or just be an event coordinator for Breaking Media [Fashionista] $$$ Uber Bear Sees S&P at 800...Just Not Yet [CNBC!] $$$ Eighth Grader Says He Vandalized Congressman’s Office [NYT] $$$ Mitt Romney Stops Supporters from Chanting ‘Ryan’ to Ensure They Say His Name Too [Gawker] $$$ Police launched investigation into the 'suspicious' moon [Telegraph]

$$$ Spain rating slashed 3 notches by Moody's [Reuters] $$$ Citigroup was once worse than it is now [Bloomberg] $$$ Gupta Prosecutors Draw ‘Secret Pipeline’ Pattern; Defense Asks, ‘Where’s the Beef?’ [DealBook] $$$ JPMorgan doomsday scenario revealed [FT, FTAV] $$$ Large Institutions Discuss New Marketplace for Bonds [WSJ] $$$ George W. Bush’s decapitated head appeared on Game of Thrones [io9] $$$ Lombard Street Research is looking for a senior institutional sales executive in New York [DBCC] $$$ Crédit Agricole Girds Greek Unit for Greece Euro Exit [WSJ] $$$ Two PMs leave Taconic to form value equity shop [AR] $$$ Should lawyers have stopped the London Whale? [ATL] $$$ Endless QE? $6 trillion and counting [Reuters] $$$ Cops: Man on drugs rammed Stamford police cruisers [Stamford Advocate]

$$$ Crédit Agricole Posts Record Loss After Greek Sale [WSJ] $$$ Dimon: America Still The Best There Is [CNBC] $$$ Regulators Postpone Some Basel Rules [DealBook] $$$ Jury Is Told Ex-UBS Trader Was Made a Scapegoat for Bank’s Woes [DealBook] $$$ U.S. judge insists Argentina must pay holdout creditors [Reuters] $$$ Charles Darwin Gets 4,000 Votes in Georgia Congressional Race [DI] $$$ The SEC is looking a financial economist in the Division of Risk, Strategy, and Financial Innovation, Office of Risk Assessment and Interactive Data in DC [DBCC] $$$ Exec Who Allegedly Enabled Fraud Runs Chase’s Effort to Compensate Foreclosure Victims [ProPublica] $$$ A Run on Groupon’s Shares as Growth Slows Again [DealBook] $$$ Judge: Kodak Didn’t Mislead Market By Keeping Mum on Bankruptcy Prep [Deal Journal] $$$ "The IMF, on the other hand, is an old hand at bailouts and has learned a lot of expensive lessons. It isn’t willing to throw money into Greece without an actual, credible plan, as opposed to the tissue of optimistic assumptions and politically conditioned forecasts that the EU habitually uses to disguise the true state of affairs from itself and the voters." [Via Meadia] $$$ A trip to outer space (that will "qualify you as an official astronaut") — for just $95,000 [MW]