Write-Offs: 08.16.12

$$$ Facebook Falls To Record As Lockup End Frees Shares [Bloomberg] $$$ Best Buy Founder Presses Case for Takeover Talks [DealBook] $$$ Hall Of Fame Football Coach Donnan Accused In Ponzi Scheme [Bloomberg] $$$ Dealpolitik: Muddied Waters Complicate Focus Media Buyout [Deal Journal] $$$ “Struck By Blow Dart”: A Brief Index Of Recent Terrible Events Involving Joggers [Deadspin] $$$ Macquarie Capital is looking for a restructuring and M&A vice president in New York, if you're available [DBCC] $$$ BlackRock Tiptoes Into Spain's Sovereign Debt [WSJ] $$$ Bain Capital was good at investing when Mitt Romney ran it [PEHub] $$$ Romney Says He Paid at Least 13% Taxes for 10 Years [CNBC] $$$ New Ray Gun Used to Fight High Sea Pirates [CNBC]
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Write-Offs: 09.25.12

$$$ Eurozone deal over bank bailout in doubt [FT] $$$ U.K. Bankers Group to Stop Overseeing Libor [WSJ] $$$ The Smith Barney Name Still Lives (Sort of) [Deal Journal] $$$ Mason Capital may lose money on its delightful Telus trade [DealBook] $$$ Actually, business and political leaders aren't that stressed [LAT] $$$ “I’ve had to sit here all night staring at a whale,” [Jes] Staley said last night, a few hours into a gala for the NYU Langone Medical Center’s Hospital for Joint Diseases and Center for Musculoskeletal Care. He was accepting an award for corporate leadership. Staley then suggested the whale could be replaced with the squid in the room, which, he clarified afterward, meant Goldman Sachs Group Inc., represented by his friend Gary D. Cohn, chairman of the dinner and the hospital’s advisory board. Rolling Stone writer Matt Taibbi called Goldman a “vampire squid.” All this took place about 20 feet from a diorama depicting a battle between a sperm whale and a giant squid. Which creature will triumph is unclear, though squid have been found in whales’ stomachs. [Bloomberg] $$$ Macquarie's Credit Solutions Group, a distressed and special situations financing group, is looking for a 2nd or 3rd-year analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ Or just be an event coordinator for Breaking Media [Fashionista] $$$ Uber Bear Sees S&P at 800...Just Not Yet [CNBC!] $$$ Eighth Grader Says He Vandalized Congressman’s Office [NYT] $$$ Mitt Romney Stops Supporters from Chanting ‘Ryan’ to Ensure They Say His Name Too [Gawker] $$$ Police launched investigation into the 'suspicious' moon [Telegraph]

Write-Offs: 08.23.12

$$$ Gawker acquires semi-public audited financials of Bain Capital funds, orgasms all over them [Gawker, related] $$$ Bain Capital's conversion of management fees into carry may have been tax aggressive [Victor Fleischer] $$$ Republicans eye return to gold standard [FT] $$$ New York Fed Sells Last of AIG Bonds, at a Profit [WSJ] $$$ "Hedge Funds, Grimacing, Open the Kimono" [Bloomberg] $$$ BlackRock would like to hire a securities lending accounting associate in San Francisco, if that's your cup of tea [DBCC] $$$ The Downsizing of the American Butler [CNBC] $$$ What's up with Best Buy? [DealBook] $$$ Citi passed its make-up stress test [Reuters] $$$ Seven-Year-Old Wins Iceland Ram Groping Contest [Iceland Review via MR]

Write-Offs: 06.18.12

$$$ Clogged Credit Weighs on Fed Policy Makers [WSJ] $$$ Ex-Expert Network Consultant Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ TCI is trying to guilt the FSA into forcing Lloyds to redeem TCI's holdings of Lloyds contingent capital bonds at above-market prices [FT] $$$ Homeowner Aid Boosts Big Banks [WSJ] $$$ World's population is 17 million tons overweight [MSNBC] $$$ Do you have plans on July 17? Do you fancy yourself a poker player? A really good poker player? Do you think you could beat David Einhorn, even if he’s working the table like it's Lehman Brothers circa 2007/2008? Do you think it would not be so awkward that the two of you could then enjoy a meal together and talk shop after which he picks up the tab? If David's not your thing, do you think you could envision yourself in the same scenario but with Bill Ackman? If you answered yes to most of the above and also consider yourself a fan of humanity, helping others and all that jazz, you should most definitely clear your schedule next Wednesday and sign up for a World Poker Tournament benefiting the Rewarding Achievement (REACH) program, which was co-founded by Bill Ackman and Whitney Tilson and gives inner-city high school students academic support and scholarships for passing AP exams. The event is taking place at Gotham Hall in New York and Einhorn (your competition) will be playing, as will Ackman and Tilson. Prizes for winners include the aforementioned meal (a lunch), with Bill, David or Seth Klarman, five nights at a “world-class private beach home in Lamu, Kenya,” a private poker lesson with 2011 WSOP bracelet winner and 2011 WPT Player of the Year, Andy Frankenberger and more. Alternatively, if you’re not one for cards but still want to help kids, you can also just register for the cocktail hour. $$$ Would you be interested in a job as a credit team director at a distressed-focused private equity firm in New York? What if I told you it's at Patriarch Partners? [DBCC, also available] $$$ Likelihood of Grexit Still 50-75%: Citi [CNBC] $$$ Alvarez Says Fed Hasn’t Seen Other JPMorgan Risk Problems [Bloomberg] $$$ Millionaire Parents Say Their Kids Are Unfit to Inherit [CNBC] $$$ New Jersey Man Allegedly Calls 911 From His Pillow Fort, Demands To Speak To Tim Tebow [DeadSpin]

Write-Offs: 08.02.12

$$$ Draghi kills hope of instant action [FT] $$$ Mario Draghi's rescue plan for the euro: So that's what he meant [Economist] $$$ Goldman to Invest in City Jail Program, Profiting if Recidivism Falls Sharply [NYT] $$$ BofA in talks with Fannie Mae over mortgage dispute [Reuters] $$$ Missile Defense Staff Warned To Stop Surfing Porn Sites [Bloomberg via DI] $$$ New York Yankees Facebook Page Announces Derek Jeter To Miss Rest Of Season Due To Sex Change [Deadspin] $$$ Want to decide how much people at BlackRock get paid? They're looking for a Senior Compensation/Total Rewards Analyst in New York [DBCC] $$$ Facebook: The Stock That Keeps on Dropping [BBW] $$$ Europe Keeps Weighing on GM's Results [WSJ] $$$ Pimco’s El-Erian Says World in Serious Slowdown [Bloomberg] $$$ Romney's Horse Ranks 13th In Olympic Debut [WSJ] $$$ "Some account holders want to withdraw their money. I ask them why and give it to them if other children approve. Everyone earns five per cent interest on their savings." [Kottke]

Write-Offs: 06.11.12

$$$ Euro zone discussed capital controls if Greek exits euro [Reuters] $$$ Spain's Bailout Boost Quickly Turns to Rout [WSJ] $$$ Fed Says U.S. Wealth Fell 38.8% In 2007-2010 On Housing [Bloomberg] $$$ Bankers Complain of Tension With Fed Over Pay Restrictions [Real Time Economics] $$$ David Cameron left his 8-year-old daughter alone in a pub [AP] $$$ The world's oldest animal marriage looks set to have turtley ended after an incredible 115 years when the two Giant Turtles at an Austrian zoo refused to share their cage anymore. Zoo management have called in animal experts to try and give the pair counselling - feeding them romantic good mood food and trying to get them to join in joint games - but so far without effect. Zoo boss Helga Happ said: "We get the feeling they can't stand the sight of each other anymore." Bibi and Poldi have been a pair since before anyone alive today can remember - they have been together at the Austrian zoo in Klagenfurt for 36 years and before that they lived at Basel zoo in Switzerland. Zoo boss Helga added: "They are both 115 years old - they have been together since they were young and grew up together, eventually becoming a pair. But for no reason that anyone can discover they seem to have fallen out, they just can't stand each other." [Austrian Times] $$$ Intrepid Investment Bankers LLC is looking for an M&A vice president in LA [DBCC] $$$ U.S. high court to hear Amgen securities lawsuit case [Reuters] $$$ A stupid CNBC chart [Felix Salmon] $$$ A stupid Bloomberg headline [Strange Bloomberg Headlines] $$$ A yacht named the Blind Date exploded and sank in the Atlantic Ocean off Sandy Hook, New Jersey [nj.com] $$$ Jerry Sandusky's lawyer tells a jury: "You saw those 8 photos, cute kids" [Penn Live via Deadspin]

Write-Offs: 06.05.12

$$$ European Union Proposes Central Banking Regulator [NYT] $$$ Spain says markets closing on it, seeks help for banks [Reuters] $$$ Ken Lewis's script to tell John Thain he was worried about Merrill's losses [Deal Journal] $$$ Using Confidential Information in a Hostile Offer [Harvard Law] $$$ Mitt Romney Surprised That Tall Man ‘Wasn’t in Sport’ [DI] $$$ Alpine Woods Capital Investors is looking for an experienced equity income Associate Portfolio Manager/Analyst in Westchester [DBCC] $$$ Hedge Funds Failing To Deliver Taxes To Connecticut [Bloomberg] $$$ Have a Bad Boss? Treat Him Like a Toddler [CNBC] $$$ Thomas H. Lee to Take Control of Party City [WSJ] $$$ Lax bros. Lax bros. [Boston Globe]

Write-Offs: 05.25.12

$$$ Spain to inject up to €19bn into Bankia [FT] $$$ New Democracy, Syriza Tied In Greek Race For First, Poll Says [Bloomberg] $$$ "Banks get to play a fun game every quarter that could be called Guess the Value of Your Assets! JPMorgan Chase plays it more than its peers." [DealBook] $$$ "This study proposes a novel framework for capital regulation that addresses banks’ incentives to take on excessive risk and leverage. The framework consists of a special capital account in addition to a core capital requirement. The special account would accrue to a bank’s shareholders as long as the bank is solvent, but would pass to the bank’s regulators — rather than its creditors — if the bank fails." [FRBNY] $$$ "Barry also had a knack for interceptions. When a joint was making the rounds, he often elbowed his way in, out of turn, shouted "Intercepted!," and took an extra hit. No one seemed to mind." [DI] $$$ That’s it for us today. We’re off Monday for the holiday, enjoy the long weekend and see you on Tuesday! $$$ Fortress Investment Group is looking for a treasury analyst in San Francisco [DBCC] $$$ Marc Faber: 100% Chance of Global Recession [CNBC!] $$$ Prosecutors gain early edge in Raj Gupta trial [Breakingviews] $$$ Despite Doubts, Lehman Charges Still Possible [DealBook] $$$ "A penguin on the run from a Tokyo aquarium since early March was adjusting to life back on the inside yesterday after being recaptured on a riverbank. The Humboldt penguin, one of 135 kept at Tokyo Sea Life Park, was recaptured after 82 days of freedom that had even seen it outwit Japan’s well-resourced coast guard. ... The hunt for the bird, which the aquarium said did not have a name, began in early March after it was spotted bathing in a river that runs into Tokyo Bay. Keepers believe the creature made its break for freedom after being startled into climbing over a rock twice its size." [AFP]

Write-Offs: 12.06.12

$$$ IIF Bank Group: Greek Debt Buyback Likely To Reach Target [WSJ] $$$ Doing the Shareholder Sidestep [DealBook] $$$ Netflix CEO Hastings Faces SEC Action Over Facebook Post [Bloomberg] $$$ Rush to set up ‘ultra-short’ bond funds [FT] $$$ Bain leads private equity firms in use of low-tax payouts [Reuters] $$$ Financial Times Discovers Hip-Hop Slang From Last Century [DI] $$$ A multi-billion-dollar asset management firm is looking for a quantitative execution junior equities trader in New York [DBCC] $$$ Partners’ Stake in Goldman Sachs Rises [DealBook] $$$ Defaulted Bondholders Undeterred as Gains Hold [Bloomberg] $$$ Will JPMorgan's 'Jes' Staley Jump Ship? [CNBC] $$$ Brooklyn couple makes breakup video to announce split to their friends [NYDN via Kevin Roose] $$$ Snoop [Lion] Asked Himself a Question About His Own Weed Habits on Reddit [NYO]