Before anyone takes to Twitter to give the UK a piece of her mind, though, breathe easy: the misconduct is related to funds used to pay for breast augmentations and other cosmetic enhancements and could even take some of the heat off of Bob Diamond et al, who've yet to be accused of using customer money to pay for lipo. A bank clerk stole £46,000 to fund a boob job, liposuction and hair extensions to help her achieve her dream of becoming a model. Rachael Claire Martin admitted taking the money over an eight-week period from Barclays Bank in Liskeard, Cornwall, where she worked. The 24-year-old, from St Austell, Cornwall, is thought to have spent £4,000 on breast enlargement and £1,700 on dental work, which included teeth whitening treatment. The mother of one also travelled to Bristol on wild shopping sprees - buying make up and other items before enjoying nights out on the town back at home. While working at the bank, she regularly stole relatively small sums of £2,000 and £1,000, which she siphoned into her own account. On one occasion she managed to take £6,000. She initially denied 25 separate counts of theft from the bank between September 1 and October 3 in 2010. But the prosecution charged her with just one count of stealing £46,000 over the same period at Truro Crown Court yesterday and she pleaded guilty...She will face a jail term when she returns to court in September. Police were called when the theft was realised - but she had apparently already spent most of the stolen cash on her appearance, in the hope of realising her modelling dream. Barclays bank clerk stole £46,000 and spent it on boob job, liposuction and wild shopping sprees to fulfill her dream of becoming a model [DM]

Some people are happy with raises Barclays junior bankers are set to receive. Others, like the people just above them on the totem pole, who can only sleep at night knowing the pissants they work with are being paid significantly less money, are not as thrilled.

Breaking the speed limit in a school zone, for example, will cost you a couple mill, while volunteering with your local Boy Scouts chapter to help the troops earn their "Libor Manipulation" badges will translate to a few extra zeros on payday. Barclays' new chief executive said he will pay employees based in part on whether they are good citizens, as the British bank tries to restore its tarnished reputation. Within the next six to 12 months, Barclays will devise a "balance scorecard" with metrics that measure performance across a range of areas, including how the actions of executives affect the environment, Antony Jenkins said in a brief interview on Sunday at the Clinton Global Initiative...Jenkins, who previously ran Barclays' business and retail banking division, said he managed the unit with a scorecard that rated employees on how their actions affected all stakeholders, including investors, customers, other employees and "society." The scorecard includes a "citizenship" component, according to a bank spokesman. Barclays New Chief Ties Compensation To Societal Goals [Reuters]

Have you ever had construction going on nearby your home? Was it loud? Annoying? Did keep it keep you up in the middle of the night? Did you seriously consider opening your window and screaming "Hey! Shut the hell up down there!" or even confronting the people making all that racket face to face? Olivier Desbarres can relate. Or at least he can half relate. Because while most of you were probably talked out of making some sort of scene, either by your significant other or your own impulse control, on October 20th Desbarres decided to go in another direction, the one that involved introducing himself to the construction workers building a house near his own by screaming "I'm gonna go after you, I will haunt you, I'm gonna burn your fucking house down, I will find your fucking family," a task he noted would be fairly simple and straightforward ("I can find [them] very easily," he explained, "I'm a man with resources"), in case there were doubts (a fairly reasonable concern, as there are a lot of people in Singapore and how were these guys supposed to know he had an army of Barclays researchers at his disposal?). Still worried that the group wasn't taking his threats seriously on account of the casual look he was sporting that morning-- shorts and sandals-- Desbarres then picked up some sheet metal and launched it in their direction, presumably to demonstrate he meant business.* Although that would have been a good time to make his exit, at that point Desbarres noticed that one of the men had been recording him without his consent, leading to: “You’re filming me? You think that’s good? Put your fucking phone down because I’m going to wait for you to come out and take that phone and shove it up your fucking ass.” According to one local publication, this whole thing started because the construction crew began working at 8:45am one day in October instead of 9am, the time Desbarres preferred. In related news, according to a person familiar with Barclays' policies concerning construction site meltdowns, "We consider such behavior and language unacceptable. It does not meet the high standard of conduct that we expect of our employees." Desbarres, who is no longer with the bank, has not yet returned Dealbreaker's call for comment.** Foul-mouth foreigner threatens workers and warns he will hunt down their families [Stomp] Barlcays Far Too Candid Camera [Sunday Times via Ian Fraser] Barclays Capital Appoints Olivier Desbarres as Head of FX Strategy, Asia-Pacific Ex-Japan [BarCap] Related (re: Barclays employees losing their shit in public): Barclays Global Head of Investment Banking Writes Tear-Stained Letter To Son’s School, Demands Teacher’s Firing For Trash Talking Barclays, Making Son Cry *Insane ranting + shorts + sandals can leave room for interpretation re: is this guy serious or not; insane ranting + shorts + sandals + grabbing whatever shit from a construction site is within arm's reach and throwing at people is generally-- though not always!-- pretty clear. **Possibly because we called in the middle of the night local time and he is on his way to New York to throw a piece of sheetrock at us; you know how he gets when his sleep is interrupted.

Back in March, a young man named Greg Smith published an Op-Ed in the Times called "Why I Am Leaving Goldman Sachs." Greg wrote that despite joining a firm that, in the beginning, cared about "teamwork, integrity, a spirit of humility, and always doing right by clients" and not "just about making money," he'd ultimately come to be sickened by a place that, twelve years later, he couldn't even recognize. A place that, on Lloyd Blankfein and Gary Cohn's watch, had lost its way. A place that, he'd come to see, was devoid of any sort of morals, whatsoever. A place that needed to take a long hard look at what it had become. A place that, he predicted, was not long for this earth. Because unlike Smith, whose proudest moments in life-- "being selected as a Rhodes Scholar national finalist and winning a bronze medal for table tennis at the Maccabiah Games in Israel, known as the Jewish Olympics," respectively-- involved hard work and no short cuts, "Goldman Sachs today," Smith wrote, is all "about the shortcuts and not enough about achievements." Goldman Sachs 2.o, one might say, hasn't worked an honest day in its life and that didn't feel right to Smith anymore. The piece, which was said to come as shock to Goldman, did not please many people on the inside, nor did the $1.5 million deal Smith scored shortly thereafter to write Why I Left Goldman Sachs: A Wall Street Story, out October 22. Here's how Greg's publisher describes WILGS: From the shenanigans of his summer internship during the technology bubble to Las Vegas hot tubs and the excesses of the real estate boom; from the career lifeline he received from an NFL Hall of Famer during the bear market to the day Warren Buffett came to save Goldman Sachs from extinction-Smith will take the reader on his personal journey through the firm, and bring us inside the world's most powerful bank. And while higher-ups at GS may have been initially worried about the potentially damaging revelations that would appear in the book, apparently time, a slap in the face and an order to 'get it together you pustulant milquetoasts' by the ghost of Lucas van Praag has resulted in this delightfully bitchy, exceptionally underminery comment from 200 West: “Every day, some young professional, after a decade in a post-collegiate job, reassesses his or her career and decides to move on and do something else,” David Wells, a Goldman Sachs spokesman said Dealbook in an e-mailed statement. “Others can better judge whether Mr. Smith’s particular career transition is of unique interest.” Regardless of whether or not Goldman is correct in its assessment that Greg's sounds like the story dozens of analyst finishing their first year would tell of the "epic" stuff they witnessed during their 12 months of banking (+previous summer internship, during which things got pretty crazy) or if his particular career transition is indeed of unique interest, Dealbreaker will be hosting an evening of dramatic readings of select chapters, with yet-to-be secured GS alum/raconteur/boulevardier Lucas van Praag standing in for the part of Mr. Smith. Venue and ticket pricing to follow. Former Banker Promises A Peek At Goldman Sachs [Dealbook] Earlier: Resignation Letter Reveals Goldman Sachs Is In The Business Of Making Money, Hires People Who Don’t Know How To Tie Their Shoes; Jewish Ping-Pong Tournament Participant / Sixth-Year Goldman Sachs Vice President Is Looking For His Next Challenge; Goldman Sachs Accuser Greg Smith (Might Have) Lied About That Which He Holds Most Sacred