Jeffrey Gundlach's Babies Come Home

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Just a week after putting out an AMBER alert that several of his beloved pieces of art had gone missing during a heist on his home and a mere four days after an emotional press conference pleading with the public to help him find them, bond manager Jeffrey Gundlach's most prized possessions, after his Sexy Slave KitTM, have been recovered.

Police recovered the nearly $10-million collection of contemporary art — which included works by Piet Mondrian, Jasper Johns and Richard Diebenkorn — that was stolen this month from Gundlach's Santa Monica home. He had offered a near-record $1.7-million reward for the collection's safe return...The big break in the case came Wednesday when Pasadena police officers received a tip that the stolen art was held at an automobile stereo shop, Santa Monica police said in a news release. Officers raided the Al & Ed's Autosound store on South Rosemead Boulevard, recovered all but one of the stolen paintings and arrested the store's manager — Jay Jeffrey Nieto, 45, of Canyon Country — on suspicion of possessing stolen property. A second suspect, Wilmer Cadiz, 40, was arrested at his home in Rosemead, also on suspicion of possessing stolen property. The final painting was recovered at a residence in Glendale. The person who was in possession of that painting has not been arrested and is cooperating with investigators, police said.

Gundlach did not know who, if anybody, would get the reward. He had offered $1 million for the return of a Mondrian painting called "Composition (A) En Rouge Et Blanc." The offer is said to be the highest-ever reward for a single painting. That was the painting Gundlach said the thieves had been trying to unload. One lesson Gundlach learned from the burglary was to beef up protection for his collection: "I will continue to take good care of it," he said. "There have been many upgrades to security, and armed guards are now on the property."

Let this be a lesson to you all: you can fuck The Godfather, you can fuck in his presence, you can fuck on a DVD that he will purchase and keep in his office, but you cannot fuck with him. And to any filmmakers out there that are thinking this would make for a great story but are stumped on a name, consider Happy Endings, Jasper In Her Johns, Big Tips, or The Bondage Nookie Court 2. Finally, the answer is yes-- he will take a small role if you ask.

Art Stolen From Jeffrey Gundlach Recovered; 2 Arrested [LA Times]

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You Can Add The FBI To The (Long) List Of People Impressed With Jeffrey Gundlach's Brain

There is no denying that Jeffrey Gundlach is a hugely talented man whose IQ would rank among the highest in the world if he ever had it tested. "What's it like having lunch with a genius," he once asked a colleague, who presumably answered, "To be honest, it's giving me an inferiority complex just breathing the same air as you, knowing that your brain is the standard for how intelligence will be measured from now until the end of eternity." Until recently, however, the application of Gundlach's brilliance was largely confined to bond management. According to a new profile by Bloomberg Markets, though, Gundlach's intellectual prowess is just as if not more impressive when it comes to crime solving.

Want To Earn $100,000 The Hard Way, You Dirty Little Bitch? Give Jeffrey Gundlach A Call

As you may have heard, at some point last week, bond manager Jeffrey Gundlach was robbed. Thieves took $10 million worth of stuff from the Doubleline founder's Santa Monica pad, including a couple of paintings, a few watches, some high-priced wine, a 2010 Porsche Carrera 4S, and whatever cash was lying around. While it's unclear if the burglars made away with Gundlach's collection of priceless pornographic films and sexual apparatus; if he was targeted specifically because the thieves knew they could get their hands on the original copy of Dr. Fellatio 16; or if they were tipped off by JG's regular pizza delivery guy, cable repairman, or pool boy, what is clear that Gundlach is pissed, pissed like a man who is no longer in possession of Ass Traffic Volume 2: The Director's Cut.  And that's where you come in. Mr Gundlach has reportedly offered a $100,000 reward for the return of his property. $1,000 is also being offered for information leading to the arrest and conviction of those who carried out the raid, according to Santa Monica police. And to the burglars, if you're reading this, Gundlach will see your asses in court (the real kind, unless you want to settle this in Bondage Nookie Court in which case, get in touch with this lawyer). Multimillionaire financier victim of $10-million heist [LA Times] Thieves snatch $10million haul of fine art, jewellery and a Porsche from home of wealthy banker dubbed the 'Bond God' [DM] Related (...?): Jeffrey Gundlach NOT Set Up By TCW, Big Fan Of “Dr. Fellatio” Series