What To Do (Or Not Do) Upon Waking Up In A Car "Driving Through A House," Part II

Back in May, we had a frank discussion about drinking with colleagues and/or clients after work. Specifically, how many drinks one should put away in order to have a good time but not cross any unfortunate lines. At the time, we used a young lady named Sophia Anderson as our guide and said that, assuming you have the tolerance of a 21 year-old female and considered being arrested post-Happy Hour for driving your through a stranger's house one of those lines, no more than a dozen beverages should be consumed, with fourteen being the absolute max. Today we have just a quick update, to those for whom it bears mentioning, that if you're going to ignore said guidelines and have that fifteenth cocktail shortly before accepting a ride home from an equally sloshed coworker who confuses someone's front lawn/foyer/kitchen/backyard patio with the road, you should probably not agree to lie to the police and say you were the one driving. Not even if you're secretly in love with him or her; not even if he or she promises to take take you on vacation after all of this blows over; not even if you were passed out the whole ride and a bit disoriented after "[waking] up as the incident occurred and the car drove through the house." The sneaky punk who conned his drunk and coked-up girlfriend into taking the DWI rap for crashing through, and trashing, a Long Island home in his mom’s Mercedes convertible, was finally charged today with the May 28 crash and ordered held without bail. Suffolk DA Tom Spota said Dan Sajewski, 23, tricked Sophia Anderson, 21, into telling cops that she was behind the wheel when he crashed through the Huntington home of a 96-year-old woman – taking a 30-foot tree with him from the front to the back yard. Spota said the incredible demolition derby was the end result of a night of boozing and cocaine snorting at the $1.7 million mansion of Sajewski’s parents in exclusive Lloyd Harbor – when Sajewski and Anderson took a high speed joyride for more beer. ``We know what really happened that day,’’ said Spota at a press conference after the court session. He said the couple, along with three pals, were doing shots of Jack Daniels and snorting coke at Sajewski’s doctor dad’s home until 4 a.m. The crash occurred during a trip for more Heineken beer, while Sajewski was driving, said Spota. He said Anderson was passed out in the passenger seat and ``told us she wakes up as the incident is occurring and they were driving through the house.’’ Spota said Anderson ``was in love with him’’ and agreed to take the rap, after he promised to pay her bail and legal bills – and take her on a vacation. He broke his word and she revealed it was all a lie. The DA said that when an x-ray technician at the hospital told her she could not have been the driver because of her injuries, Anderson told him ``it’s a little too late for that.’’ LI punk held without bail for May 28 crash that destroyed elderly woman's home [NYP via DI] Earlier: Area Drunk Offers Handy How To Guide Re: Not Being Labeled “That Guy (Who Uses The Front Door Of A House As A Garage Door)” At The Office
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Back in May, we had a frank discussion about drinking with colleagues and/or clients after work. Specifically, how many drinks one should put away in order to have a good time but not cross any unfortunate lines. At the time, we used a young lady named Sophia Anderson as our guide and said that, assuming you have the tolerance of a 21 year-old female and consider being arrested post-Happy Hour for driving your car through a stranger's house one of those lines, no more than a dozen beverages should be consumed, with fourteen being the absolute max. Today we have just a quick update, to those for whom it bears mentioning, that if you're going to ignore said guidelines and have that fifteenth cocktail shortly before accepting a ride home from an equally sloshed coworker who confuses someone's front lawn/foyer/kitchen/backyard patio with the road, you should probably not agree to lie to the police, say you were the one driving, and have them breathalyze you with 370 ounces of alcohol (and some cocaine) in your body. Not even if you're in love with him or her; not even if he or she promises to take take you on vacation after all of this blows over; not even if you were passed out the whole ride and a bit disoriented after "[waking] up as...the car drove through the house."

The sneaky punk who conned his drunk and coked-up girlfriend into taking the DWI rap for crashing through, and trashing, a Long Island home in his mom’s Mercedes convertible, was finally charged today with the May 28 crash and ordered held without bail. Suffolk DA Tom Spota said Dan Sajewski, 23, tricked Sophia Anderson, 21, into telling cops that she was behind the wheel when he crashed through the Huntington home of a 96-year-old woman – taking a 30-foot tree with him from the front to the back yard. Spota said the incredible demolition derby was the end result of a night of boozing and cocaine snorting at the $1.7 million mansion of Sajewski’s parents in exclusive Lloyd Harbor – when Sajewski and Anderson took a high speed joyride for more beer.

``We know what really happened that day,’’ said Spota at a press conference after the court session. He said the couple, along with three pals, were doing shots of Jack Daniels and snorting coke at Sajewski’s doctor dad’s home until 4 a.m. The crash occurred during a trip for more Heineken beer, while Sajewski was driving, said Spota. He said Anderson was passed out in the passenger seat and ``told us she wakes up as the incident is occurring and they were driving through the house.’’ Spota said Anderson ``was in love with him’’ and agreed to take the rap, after he promised to pay her bail and legal bills – and take her on a vacation. He broke his word and she revealed it was all a lie. The DA said that when an x-ray technician at the hospital told her she could not have been the driver because of her injuries, Anderson told him ``it’s a little too late for that.’’

Alternatively, if you are the one trying to cut a deal for someone else to take the blame, think about actually making good on that vacation, lest the x-ray tech go all CSI on your fall guy/girl's injuries.

LI punk held without bail for May 28 crash that destroyed elderly woman's home [NYP via DI]
Earlier: Area Drunk Offers Handy How To Guide Re: Not Being Labeled “That Guy (Who Uses The Front Door Of A House As A Garage Door)” At The Office

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Area Drunk Offers Handy How To Guide Re: Not Being Labeled "That Guy (Who Uses The Front Door Of A House As A Garage Door)" At The Office

Planning to knock off work early every evening from now through Labor Day and/or take the edge off life with some adult beverages during lunch because it's summer and you deserve it? Want to have "fun" but not do anything "crazy"? If parking your car in a stranger's backyard via their house constitutes a line you don't want to cross, and you have roughly the same alcohol tolerance as a 21 year-old female, consider telling co-workers and friends you want to be cut off at a dozen drinks. Fourteen, max. A Long Island prosecutor said today that a preliminary field test indicated that the Brooklyn woman who crashed through a house had consumed about 15 drinks before the accident. Police arrested 21-year-old Sophia Anderson following the crash Monday at 4 a.m. in Huntington. Anderson is accused of DWI after her red Mercedes-Benz CLK 320 in the rear of 96-year-old Helen Indiere’s once-tidy home. The car smashed through the home, ending up in the backyard. She suffered scrapes and bruises, while an unidentified passenger was not injured. Indiere who was inside the house and her caretaker were miraculously not injured. Anderson pleaded not guilty on Tuesday. Bail was set at $50,000. A Suffolk County prosecutor said a preliminary field test at the crash scene indicated a blood-alcohol reading of 0.30. Each alcoholic drink raises the level by about 0.02. The legal limit is 0.08. Anderson's lawyer questioned the validity of the sobriety test. NY prosecutor: Woman drunk drove car through house [WSJ] B'klyn woman had 'over a dozen drinks' in her at time of crash: DA [NYP]

Four Years After Shuttering Fund, Long Island Asset Manager/Hooters Franchise Owner/Frederick's Of Hollywood Devotee Not Ready To Part With Investor Money Just Yet

In 2008, Fursa Strategic Alternatives, an asset management firm run by Massapequa resident William F. Harley III, informed investors that it would be closing its doors and returning everyone's money. As some money managers can likely attest though, making the decision to close up shop (and writing people to say as much), doesn't mean you're emotionally ready to do so. Harley, for example, couldn't shake the feeling that he was put on this earth to be an investor and, god damn it, he was going to invest until the day he died. So he did what any rational human being in his position would, and decided to just, you know, hang on to his clients' money for a while. Of course, the pesky little varmints kept calling, so he had to disconnect the phones and to avoid an awkward confrontation wherein they appeared at the firm's building demanding their cash in person, he moved HQ into the basement of one of his other businesses, a Hooters restaurant. That got people off his tail for a while but, unfortunately, they popped up again and this time are taking legal action. The Claude Worthington Benedum Foundation filed the lawsuit last month in the Court of Common Pleas in Allegheny County, Pa. It has since been moved to federal court in the western district of Pennsylvania. The charity said in its lawsuit that William F. Harley III continued operating Fursa Strategic Alternatives from the basement of a Hooters restaurant on Long Island after saying in 2008 the fund would close and the charity's money would be returned. Federal filings show Fursa in January was the largest investor in lingerie company Frederick's of Hollywood Group. A spokesman for Harley said lawyers for the fund sought unsuccessfully to contact the charity last year. Harley could not be reached for comment at his home Wednesday...The lawsuit points to Fursa's investment in Frederick's of Hollywood as evidence the company continued operating instead of returning its money. Fursa Alternative Strategies owns 46 percent of Frederick's, according to the company's proxy statement. While a spokesman for Harley has not denied most of the allegations, he does take issue with claim that Fursa has any sort of legitimate set-up at any of his four Hooters, telling Newsday that he "occasionally has business meetings at them, but doesn't run an office there." Charity lawsuit accuses Massapequa man of mishandling $2M investment [Newsday]

Exotic Dancer Turned Financial Services VP Wants Long Island To Pay $10 Million For Forcing Her To Have An Affair With Responsibility-Shirking Cop

Remember Tara Obernauer? For a quick refresher, Obernauer is vice-president at Forbes Private Capital Group, whose resume also includes an MBA from Hofstra, five years as a compliance officer at Guggenheim Capital Markets, and dancing gig at a now-defunct gentlemen's club called Stringfellows, where she earned "$1,000 a night or more." Last July she started having an affair with Nassau County police officer Mike Tedesco,* which involved Tedesco literally and figuratively "parking his cruiser in Obernauer's driveway" during his shift and "hanging out on the couch, watching TV, and taking naps" while letting younger cops, who Tedesco referred to "assist bitches," respond to calls. The reason we know all this is that Mike's bosses "compared reports by Obernauer's neighbors with GPS records from his squad car, [which] showed at least 57 visits" at times he was supposed to be working, and then cross-referenced them with Obernauer, who had no intention of covering for Tedesco after she learned he was married with kids.** Anyway, in April Obernauer got an order of protection against the guy, fearing retaliation for not telling Internal Affairs that he was "just a friend who stops by once in a while," as per his request,** and now she wants Nassau County to cough up a few million for unleashing this animal on her. The mistress of a married Nassau County cop — who enjoyed more than 100 nights with him while he was on duty — is threatening to sue the county for $10 million because it didn’t prevent the couple’s steamy romance. Sexy Wall Street exec Tara Obenauer, 42, has filed a notice of claim saying that she intends to sue Nassau County and the Police Department because officials were “negligent” for not keeping Officer Mike Tedesco from visiting her house while he was on duty. “As a result of the County and Tedesco’s negligent and intentional acts, Claimant has suffered and sustained severe and substantial emotional damages,” the notice of claim said. Here's what Nassau County Attorney John Ciampoli had to say about that: “I just think it’s rather ironic that she’s filing a notice of claim against the county. Because, based on what has been reported in the press, she was receiving from the county Police Department a lot more than others were receiving.” *Who showed up to her house claiming he'd received a report of loud music, after a colleague who knew Obernauer piqued Tedesco's interest by telling him "she was good-looking." **To which she responded "They have your GPS records, you moron. I'm not perjuring myself for you. We're over and I want my key back."

Area Big Time Banker Can't Get Laid In A Whorehouse, Wants People To Know About It

What would posses a person to do an as-told-to article about the fact that after "failing miserably" at trying to pick up women in bars while working late for a "big name investment bank in New York," he turned to a "sugar daddy dating site" to bang hookers on his nights away from the wife and kids only to fall for one who ultimately broke his heart, because she was a prostitute and didn't actually care about him? The answer, quite, obviously, is love. Love, and a hope that a certain someone will see your story and upon reading that you're completely and totally over her and beating off call girls with a stick, COME RUNNING BACK. I met a girl who said she was a senior at Columbia University. She was so hot. Long brown hair, light eyes, perfect little body. We started an affair and I would give her a $4,000 "allowance" each month to meet once a week for dinner, or just to sleep together if I had a deal or a really late night in the office. Sometimes it was an hour of "small talk and sex," which, really, isn't a bad deal for her. $1,000 for an hour to spend time with me. I felt like a stud, there's no denying that, and I knew that she didn't want anything from me but money. She would come and go away when I made the signal I was tired. Soon though, I started liking her more than I wanted to. She was smart and kind of had a sarcastic sense of humor I found funny. I asked to see her more and she asked for more money. I said I couldn't do any more than that, and she said she couldn't give more time. It was the first time I felt a little hurt, like: "This person just wants my money and probably thinks I'm some gross horny old dude." The next month, I gave her the envelope of $4,000 upfront instead of $1,000 each time. We had sex, chatted, drank some wine and she left. I never saw her again. She wouldn't pick up her phone, then her phone was disconnected, my emails to her went unanswered, and her profile on the site was gone. It was such a blow. Though, really, what the hell did I expect? I guess some warning. Yes, some warning would have been nice but whatever. It's not like you're still upset about it. It's not like there isn't a moment of the day when she's not on your mind. It's not like you lie in bed at night thinking about her holding you. No, no sweat off your sack, which you use to bang hookers six at a time now that whatshername is out of the picture. Working girls line the street to get paid to have sex with you! You don't even have time to respond to all their propositions! The Jiltee has become the jilter! You can't even remember [theloveofyourlife]'s name you're so busy plowing prosties. After that, I decided I was going to go for quantity and not quality. I want hot girls, but a lot of them and substance isn't a huge deal. I have been with dozens of girls, and I give them money each time I meet them. The funny thing is often these girls are chasing me to sleep with them again, because it's easy money, but I just scroll through and delete or ignore the messages most of the time. Men want to be with a lot of women; it is just the truth...Maybe that first girl was a wake-up call. I'm already married. I don't need a steady mistress. But I have one or two I always go back to if I can't find someone I like, which happens a lot....I'm not hurting anyone by doing this. I'm always safe and upfront if I meet someone and know it won't happen. I just pay for the drink and let them know and leave, like "No deal, sorry." It is just like any deal. You have to know how to close it and have to know when you're not interested in putting in the effort to see it through. Why This Married Wall Street Banker Pays For Sex [Buzzfeed]

Husband's Lack Of Interest In Recreating 50 Shades Of Grey Scenarios Straw That Broke The Camel's Back For British Banker

The couple is getting a quickie divorce that should be wrapped up shortly, if you know anyone both familiar with the plot lines and interested. The wife, a 41-year-old banker earning more than £400,000 a year, claims her husband’s ‘boring attitude’ to sex is evidence of ‘unreasonable behaviour’. In her grounds for divorce, filed at the High Court, she refers to the novel, which tells of the sadomasochistic affair between billionaire Christian Grey and naive student Anastasia Steele. The woman in the court case bought the raunchy book almost as soon as it was published last year and hoped it would encourage her husband to be more adventurous in bed. The wife’s solicitor, Amanda McAlister, a family law expert, believes the case is the first where the new phenomenon of ‘mummy porn’ has triggered a divorce. She said: ‘The woman had been reading the book and wanted to spice up her love life. ‘She thought their sex life had hit a rut – he never remembered Valentine’s Day and he never complimented her on her appearance. So she bought sexy underwear in an attempt to get her husband more involved. She said, “Let’s make things more interesting." ‘But when he still didn’t take any notice she told him he had a boring attitude to sex and she was fed up. ‘He went ballistic when he found out the name of the book she was reading and told her, “It’s all because you have been reading that bloody book”.’ The husband is admitting ‘unreasonable behaviour’ so the divorce can be granted quickly without a contested hearing in which his alleged low libido would be discussed in court. 50 Shades of Divorce: Wife 'inspired' by erotic book says husband failed to meet her expectations [DM] Fifty Shades Of Grey Leads Woman To Divorce Her Husband [NYDN]

In Wake Of Exec "Accidentally" Stabbing A Cab Driver, Morgan Stanley Insists You Ask, "What Would The Post Say?"

A year ago this Friday, a Morgan Stanley banker named William Bryan Jennings attended a couple holiday parties, drank a few Coors Lights, and around 10:30PM hailed a cab and asked the driver, Helmy Ammar, to take him home to Connecticut. On the way, a hungry WBJ requested they stop at G&G Deli off 10th Avenue, where he bought "a 20 oz. bottle of Aquafina water, a sandwich and some Burger King cheesy fries." As the cab entered approached Jennings' hometown of Darien, a dispute reportedly broke out as to what the fare for the ride would be. Ammar claims that they'd agreed on $204 before leaving Manhattan, but once in Connecticut, Jennings said he'd only pay $50. Jennings claims that Ammar jacked the price up to $300 and was unhappy when the banker offered $160. Another matter of he said/he said is whether or not Jennings started shouting racial slurs at Ammar and told him, "I'm going to kill you. You should go back to your country!" (Jennings denies this happened and says that Ammar locked the doors and wouldn't let him out of the cab.) The one aspect of the story that is not in dispute is that as tensions flared, WBJ whipped out a pen knife he had in his pocket. For those of you reading from Morgan Stanley, this is where the teachable moments occurs: if you ever find yourself in a situation wherein you're winding up to stab a cab driver in the hand, stop and ask yourself, "Is this going to look bad in the Post tomorrow morning?" Jennings did not and now this is happening: