$$$ Central banks ready to combat Greek market storm [Reuters] $$$ Things to know about the London Whale and capital models [DEM] $$$ Things to know about TARGET2 balances [Felix Salmon] $$$ Things to know about EFSF and ESM leverage and guarantees [TF] $$$ Here is a behavioral economics paper with the keywords "anti-social behaviour, nastiness, money-burning" [Universitat Jaume via Robin Hanson] $$$ "I have been a judge in the Miss Universe pageant three times, and I assure you it is not fixed. Even though Donald Trump made it very clear to us whom he would vote for, I always voted my conscience. ... I voted for the contestant I thought was the most beautiful." [The Daily] $$$ You should really think about becoming a credit analyst for BNP Paribas in New York [DBCC] $$$ Quest Software Brings in Competing Bid Using Clever Corporate Engineering [Dealpolitik] $$$ Maiden Lane Loans Repaid, but Assets Still Need to Be Sold [DealBook] $$$ Ray Dalio Is Building a Baseball Card Collection [NYM] $$$ The Nobel Foundation lost some money in the stock market [Fortune] $$$ Man Who Saved Mouse from Being Eaten By Cat Catches Black Plague [Gawker]

$$$ Swelling Bond Yields Add to EU Pressure [WSJ] $$$ Goodbye Smith Barney [DealBook] $$$ A Marxist take on the European Central Bank [Slack Wire] $$$ Izzy Kaminska: "If it is true that the system can increasingly provide a base level of existence for ever more people for almost no cost, should we be surprised that those western countries where a base level of existence is adequate — because of weather, surroundings and general environment — are the first to opt out of unnecessary human productivity?" [FTAV] $$$ Corporate political giving is negatively correlated with market performance for most companies, positively correlated with performance for firms in highly regulated industries [Rice via WonkBlog] $$$ Mitt Romney and "Sport," a Continuing Saga [MoJo] $$$ CRT Capital Group is looking for a credit product sales assistant in Stamford [DBCC] $$$ SEC Charges 14 Sales Agents In $415 Million Long Island-Based Ponzi Scheme [SEC] $$$ Greek Antiquities, Long Fragile, Are Endangered by Austerity [NYT] $$$ The Volume Clock: Insights into the High Frequency Paradigm [SSRN via MR] $$$ Someone at ISDA appears to have the job of pointing out when Gretchen Morgenson is wrong about derivatives [ISDA] $$$ The explosion of the yacht named Blind Date was a hoax [NYP]

$$$ Cliff Asness: The Hidden Tax Behind Wall Street Reform [WSJ] $$$ Banks’ Debt Addiction Said to Face Scrutiny at Basel Group [Bloomberg] $$$ Citigroup Joins Roster of Banks Advising Dell Buyout [Deal Journal] $$$ Bloomberg: still really into the $83bn TBTF subsidy [Bloomberg, earlier, etc.] $$$ Ms. White got a warmer welcome from some members of the panel, which is set to vote on her nomination before it moves to the full Senate. "The more I find out about you, the more I like you," said Sen. Tom Coburn (R., Okla.), adding that he had already decided to support her nomination. Sen. Charles Schumer (D., N.Y.), introducing Ms. White at the beginning of the hearing, described the lighter side of a woman known mostly for locking up terrorists and mobsters. He told the packed hearing room that Ms. White served as chairman of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, likes to "crack open a cold can of Bud" and was effective on the basketball court as a member of a New York women's basketball league. [WSJ] $$$ A sinkhole swallowed a golfer on the 14th fairway [DM] $$$ A resource focused boutique investment bank is looking for an associate in New York [DBCC] $$$ An Asset Manager’s Guide to Swap Trading in the New Regulatory World [DPW] $$$ SEC asked Goldman to disclose more about illiquid assets - filings [Reuters] $$$ Funds pick Credit Suisse over UBS on revamp risks [Reuters] $$$ "There is nothing funny about these photos, in which Mitt Romney celebrates his 66th birthday by eating fluffernutter cupcakes and wearing a stupid birthday hat." [DI] $$$ 'Wolf of Wall Street' Gets $1M Pay Day for Movie Rights [FBN]

$$$ Markets Cheer Europe Plan, Await Details [WSJ] $$$ Merkel Secures Vote for Euro Treaties [Der Spiegel] $$$ Icahn Takes Aim at Forest Lab’s Succession Plan [DealBook] $$$ Area man has no name, big idea: don't let poor people vote [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ [Mike Tyson] raised a few eyebrows when he tweeted: "Holyfield's ear would've been much better with his new BBQ sauce." Holyfield had used the social media forum to promote his new Real Deal BBQ Sauce on Twitter earlier in the day. "My realdealbbqsauce.com will make you take a bite out of someone's ear! Ask Mike Tyson – Luv ya bro!" [NYDN] $$$ Citi's alternative asset management platform Citi Capital Advisors is looking for an associate-level research analyst for its event-driven fund [DBCC] $$$ Counterparties feel effect of bank downgrades [FT] $$$ AB InBev, Modelo in $20.1 Billion Deal [WSJ] $$$ RIM’s Plunge Adds Pressure To ‘Sell, Break Up Or Die’ [Bloomberg] $$$ Gary Maggetti, general manager of food and beverage at [Disney theme park] California Adventure, says the chili cones are part of an effort by the world’s largest theme park operator to create dining options as special as its rides. Consumers, he says, are looking for “signature items that create unique food memories.” [BW]

$$$ European Economic Outlook Dims Amid Leaders’ Impasse [NYT] $$$ U.S. Bank Lending Falls, Profits Rise [WSJ] $$$ Buffett’s Goldman Deal Is Topic in an Insider Case [DealBook] $$$ Study Finds Germans Incapable of Enjoying Life [Der Spiegel] $$$ This happened: New York nun asks Blankfein if he'll hire her, Blankfein says "I don't think I couldoutbid your current employer" #godswork— Tracy Alloway (@tracyalloway) May 24, 2012 $$$ Man who formerly claimed to be a "certified member of the quiet society of pimps" and asked to be certified as an expert witness in pimpology now says "I was a failure as a pimp. I was a much better car salesman, I was a much better telemarketer, I was much better when I was selling mortgages by phone. I really wasn't very good at it. A lot of it was exaggerated." [NYP, earlier] $$$ A leading electronic trading platform is looking for a CDS / fixed income sales associate [DBCC] $$$ Big European funds dump euro assets [FT] $$$ Facebook market makers' losses total at least $100 million [Reuters] $$$ This is some enjoyable Eliot Spitzer schadenfreude [Concurring Opinions] $$$ "The festival features 10 different types of bacon, plus all things bacon — bacon sausage, bacon meatballs, bacon doughnuts, bacon butterscotch cupcakes — even a walking slab of bacon! There’s a bacon-eating contest, bacon lectures and a bacon song contest — and yes, there’s a crowning of the Bacon Queen! Contestants are asked questions like their favorite memory of bacon, their favorite kind of bacon and their favorite way to cook bacon (the most common answer is “naked,” incidentally)." [CNBC] $$$ Unabomber lists self as ‘prisoner’ in Harvard directory [Boston Globe]

$$$ J.C. Penney Ousts Ron Johnson, Rehires Myron Ullman [WSJ] $$$ Capital markets: Is Citi the new golden child of Wall Street? [Euromoney] $$$ White Confirmed as SEC Chairman [WSJ] $$$ A.I.G. Seeks to Bar Greenberg From Suing U.S. on Its Behalf [DealBook] $$$ David Stockman's dystopia [Fortune] $$$ Wrestling’s Private Equity Champion [DealBook] $$$ Google Glass Already Being Banned from Strip Clubs [BetaBeat] $$$ The Fine Line Between Political Intelligence and Insider Trading [DealBook] $$$ Hedge Funds Wagering on Fannie Reincarnation [Bloomberg] $$$ As Deadline Looms, Few Companies Sign Up to Trade Swaps [WSJ] $$$ Costs of derivatives clearing stack up for buy-side [Reuters] $$$ Volcker: Central banks are too aggressive [CNN] $$$ Market Crash Likelihood Goes Up If Stocks Continue to Rally: Marc Faber [CNBC] $$$ Science proves women like men with bigger penises [NBC]

$$$ Schaeuble Declares Markets Wrong As Europe Heads To Vacation [Bloomberg] $$$ Don't Force Banks Into 'Draconian' Breakups: Whitney [CNBC] $$$ Morgan Stanley Stock May Be Worth $32 In Breakup, Mayo Says [Bloomberg] $$$ The Merkley plan to refinance underwater mortgages sounds pretty good [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Outspoken Analyst Kinnucan Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ Man who rescued a 17-pound lobster "felt the nearly 100-year-old crustacean did not deserve to die with its parts soaked in butter. 'If he was 100, he saw World War I, World War II, man on the moon,' he said. 'Being in New England, he even saw the Red Sox win the World Series. So, he didn’t deserve the boiling water.'" [CBS] $$$ Due to recent regulatory requirements, a top bank in Charlotte is looking for a counterparty credit risk manager to be a Basel expert [DBCC] $$$ Libor scandal makes it more costly for bankers to get insured [Reuters] $$$ Europe Aims to Make Rate Manipulation a Criminal Offense [DealBook] $$$ Fund managers to lose securities lending profits [FT] $$$ The Securities and Exchange Commission drew sharp criticism from a federal judge who said they have failed to properly oversee a $55 million investor education fund created by a nearly decade-old settlement with Wall Street banks. The fund had been created as part of a roughly $1.5 billion regulatory accord in 2003 with Citigroup Inc, Goldman Sachs Group Inc, JPMorgan Chase & Co and other banks accused of publishing biased analyst research. U.S. District Judge William Pauley in Manhattan said the SEC has shown a "lack of oversight" and "indifference" toward how a nonprofit organization charged with distributing the money has been managed. ... Pauley pointed as an example to a two-year, $91,500 grant to the Genesee District Library in Flint, Michigan, that appeared to have resulted in just two events, one of which concerned "spending, sharing, and saving" for children ages two to five. "While there may be benefits to starting investor education early, toddlers seem beyond the pale," the judge wrote in an order issued Wednesday. [Reuters] $$$ Mitt Romney would restore 'Anglo-Saxon' relations between Britain and America [Telegraph]

$$$ Hedge Fund Manager Found Guilty of Insider Trading [DealBook] $$$ Citi chief rejects calls for bank splits [FT] $$$ E.C.B. Rejects Speculation About Its Bond-Buying Intentions [NYT] $$$ Condoleeza Rice and Darla Moore became the first women admitted to Augusta National [USAT] $$$ Apple Market Value Hits Record High $$$ Kansas lawmaker apologizes for nude Sea of Galilee swim [AP] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for an anti-money-laundering due diligence manager in New York [DBCC] $$$ Banks Use $1.77 Trillion To Double Treasury Purchases [Bloomberg] $$$ UBS Seeing Moat Of Secrecy Run Dry Vows Results To Lure Wealthy [Bloomberg] $$$ "Inspired by Google’s PageRank, the authors of a new paper create DebtRank, a measure of connection centrality. The vertical axis in the following diagram shows DebtRank (centrality) the horizontal axis asset shows size relative to the total network and the color indicates fragility/leverage. Institutions such as Wachovia, RBS and Barclays were relatively small but because of their centrality and fragility they imposed big risks on the system." [MR] $$$ Would it be better if analysts started earnings call Q&As by saying "terrible quarter, guys"? [Overheard]