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Goldman Sachs Changes 70 People's Lives

The following employees successfully made it through the "vigorous cross-ruffing" process and were inducted into the Brotherhood of the Sach this morning.
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The following employees successfully made it through the "vigorous cross-ruffing" process and were inducted into the partnership this morning, after receiving a congratulatory call from Lloyd and an extra special visit by Gary, wherein the chosen few got to stick their grundles in his face.

* Vivek Bantwal
* Heather Bellini
* Brian Bolster
* Jill Borst
* Michael Brandmeyer
* Jason H. Brauth
* Stuart Cash
* Alex Chi
* Kent Clark
* Richard Cormack
* Jack Daly
* Anne Marie B. Darling
* David Dase
* Olaf Diaz-Pintado
* Robert Drake-Brockman
* Alessandro Dusi
* Edward A. Emerson
* Antonio F. Esteves
* Pat Fels
* Pete Finn
* David Fishman
* Sheara Fredman
* Jacques Gabillon
* Francesco Garzarelli
* Nick Giovanni
* Brad Gross
* Anthony Gutman
* Leland Hensch
* Russell W. Horwitz
* Roy Joseph
* John Kim
* Marie Louise Kirk
* Hugh Lawson
* Scott Lebovitz
* Ericka Leslie
* Luca M. Lombardi
* John Mallory
* Joseph S. Mauro
* Charles M. McGarraugh
* Xavier C. Menguy
* Amol Naik
* Jo Natauri
* Una Neary
* Gregory G. Olafson
* Lisa Opoku
* Gerald Ouderkirk III
* Francesco Pascuzzi
* Anthony W. Pasquariello
* Huw Pill
* Dmitri Potishko
* Sean Rice
* Francois J. Rigou
* Scott M. Rofey
* Jeroen Rombouts
* Michael Ronen
* Jami Rubin
* Yann Samuelides
* Joshua S. Schiffrin
* David Schwimmer
* Gaurav Seth
* Michael Siegel
* Michael Smith
* Josh Struzziery III
* Damian Sutcliffe
* Michael Swell
* Ryan Thall
* Bobby Vedral
* Simon Watson
* Toby C. Watson
* Yoshihiko Yano

Goldman Sachs Announces New Partners [GS]
Goldman Sachs Names 70 Partners, Fewest as Public Company [Bloomberg]


Goldman Sachs To Offer More Would-Be Partners Opportunity To Go David Tepper On An Executive's Ass This Year

Each year, after a long and very comprehensive background check, a lucky group of Goldman employees are abducted from their desks, blindfolded, gagged, and led by candlelight through a dark hallway and into a subterranean conference room. Standing on the table before them are Lloyd Blankfein, Gary Cohn and the rest of the management committee, who ask if they are prepared to pledge their devotion to the firm above all else. Those who agree have their nether regions dipped in a vat of gold, genuflect before Cohn's groin, and, at the stroke of midnight, are inducted into the Brotherhood of the Sach. While there are many ways that becoming a member of the club will change one's life, the most important one involves the partaking of astronomical profits on payday. As a result, when people are not invited to join the group, they tend to get very upset. For instance, hedge fund manager David Tepper, who became a billionaire many times over after leaving the firm, was still so upset about the snub twenty years later that he bought and bulldozed the house of the guy who passed him over. Others probably wouldn't have even gone to the trouble of buying the place first, and operated the wrecking ball themselves. Which is why we say in full seriousness that the Partnership Committee might want to watch its back. Goldman Sachs has begun vetting potential new partners and is expected to appoint a smaller number of bankers to its upper echelons this year, according to senior executives involved in the process... The nomination process for new partners ended during the summer. The internal vetting process began earlier this month and is expected to last until mid-November when the new class of partners will be announced. The vetting process is known within the bank as “cross-ruffing”, in reference to a manoeuvre from the card game bridge and typically sees a team of partners deployed to every division to talk to employees who know the candidates. [FT, related]

Goldman Sachs Makes 266 People's Mornings

Unlike the life-changing partnership ritual that takes place every two years, the managing director promotions, announced today, are more of a light pat on the ass that says, you’re doing a pretty okay job so far, but don’t get cocky. You've graduated from VP (a title which is now, amazingly, described to the layman as "the level attained by the disgruntled former employee Greg Smith"), and that's something to be proud of, but stay hungry for the reach-around.

Goldman Sachs Can Fix This

A week ago today, a man named Greg Smith resigned from Goldman Sachs. As a sort of exit interview, Smith explained his reasons for departing the firm in a New York Times Op-Ed entitled "Why I Am Leaving Goldman Sachs." The equity derivatives VP wrote that Goldman had "veered so far from the place I joined right out of college that I can no longer in good conscience say I identify with what it stands for." Smith went on to note that whereas the Goldman of today is "just about making money," the Goldman he knew as a young pup "revolved around teamwork, integrity, a spirit of humility, and always doing right by our clients." It was a culture that made him "love working for the firm" and its absence had stripped him of "pride and belief" he once held in the place. While claiming that Goldman Sachs has become virtually unrecognizable from the institution founded by Marcus (Goldman) and Samuel (Sachs), which put clients ahead of its own interests, is hardly a new argument, there was something about Smith's words that gave readers a moment's pause. He was so deeply distraught over the differences between the Goldman of 2012 and the Goldman of 2000 (when he was hired) that suggested...more. That he'd seen things. Things that had made an imprint on his soul. Things that he couldn't forget. Things that he held up in his heart for how Goldman should be and things that made it all the more difficult to ignore when it failed to live up to that ideal. Things like this: