Dealbook reports that Mary Schapiro has given official notice and come December 14th, she's out of there. Names being floated as possible successors are said to include Sallie Krawcheck and the SEC's director of enforcement, Robert Khuzami, but on the off-chance they're not interested, want to throw yours or a loved one's C.V. in the mix? Update: Apparently Obama plans to nominate Elisse Walter, an SEC commissioner and former FINRA VP, to take over. So you've probably got less of a shot at this point but anything can happen!

The mirror is your friend.

Back in May, we had a frank discussion about drinking with colleagues and/or clients after work. Specifically, how many drinks one should put away in order to have a good time but not cross any unfortunate lines. At the time, we used a young lady named Sophia Anderson as our guide and said that, assuming you have the tolerance of a 21 year-old female and considered being arrested post-Happy Hour for driving your through a stranger's house one of those lines, no more than a dozen beverages should be consumed, with fourteen being the absolute max. Today we have just a quick update, to those for whom it bears mentioning, that if you're going to ignore said guidelines and have that fifteenth cocktail shortly before accepting a ride home from an equally sloshed coworker who confuses someone's front lawn/foyer/kitchen/backyard patio with the road, you should probably not agree to lie to the police and say you were the one driving. Not even if you're secretly in love with him or her; not even if he or she promises to take take you on vacation after all of this blows over; not even if you were passed out the whole ride and a bit disoriented after "[waking] up as the incident occurred and the car drove through the house." The sneaky punk who conned his drunk and coked-up girlfriend into taking the DWI rap for crashing through, and trashing, a Long Island home in his mom’s Mercedes convertible, was finally charged today with the May 28 crash and ordered held without bail. Suffolk DA Tom Spota said Dan Sajewski, 23, tricked Sophia Anderson, 21, into telling cops that she was behind the wheel when he crashed through the Huntington home of a 96-year-old woman – taking a 30-foot tree with him from the front to the back yard. Spota said the incredible demolition derby was the end result of a night of boozing and cocaine snorting at the $1.7 million mansion of Sajewski’s parents in exclusive Lloyd Harbor – when Sajewski and Anderson took a high speed joyride for more beer. ``We know what really happened that day,’’ said Spota at a press conference after the court session. He said the couple, along with three pals, were doing shots of Jack Daniels and snorting coke at Sajewski’s doctor dad’s home until 4 a.m. The crash occurred during a trip for more Heineken beer, while Sajewski was driving, said Spota. He said Anderson was passed out in the passenger seat and ``told us she wakes up as the incident is occurring and they were driving through the house.’’ Spota said Anderson ``was in love with him’’ and agreed to take the rap, after he promised to pay her bail and legal bills – and take her on a vacation. He broke his word and she revealed it was all a lie. The DA said that when an x-ray technician at the hospital told her she could not have been the driver because of her injuries, Anderson told him ``it’s a little too late for that.’’ LI punk held without bail for May 28 crash that destroyed elderly woman's home [NYP via DI] Earlier: Area Drunk Offers Handy How To Guide Re: Not Being Labeled “That Guy (Who Uses The Front Door Of A House As A Garage Door)” At The Office

Planning to knock off work early every evening from now through Labor Day and/or take the edge off life with some adult beverages during lunch because it's summer and you deserve it? Want to have "fun" but not do anything "crazy"? If parking your car in a stranger's backyard via their house constitutes a line you don't want to cross, and you have roughly the same alcohol tolerance as a 21 year-old female, consider telling co-workers and friends you want to be cut off at a dozen drinks. Fourteen, max. A Long Island prosecutor said today that a preliminary field test indicated that the Brooklyn woman who crashed through a house had consumed about 15 drinks before the accident. Police arrested 21-year-old Sophia Anderson following the crash Monday at 4 a.m. in Huntington. Anderson is accused of DWI after her red Mercedes-Benz CLK 320 in the rear of 96-year-old Helen Indiere’s once-tidy home. The car smashed through the home, ending up in the backyard. She suffered scrapes and bruises, while an unidentified passenger was not injured. Indiere who was inside the house and her caretaker were miraculously not injured. Anderson pleaded not guilty on Tuesday. Bail was set at $50,000. A Suffolk County prosecutor said a preliminary field test at the crash scene indicated a blood-alcohol reading of 0.30. Each alcoholic drink raises the level by about 0.02. The legal limit is 0.08. Anderson's lawyer questioned the validity of the sobriety test. NY prosecutor: Woman drunk drove car through house [WSJ] B'klyn woman had 'over a dozen drinks' in her at time of crash: DA [NYP]

Last Thursday afternoon, hedge fund manager Daniel S. Loeb, who is waging a proxy battle against Yahoo, made a simple request: that the board of directors fire CEO Scott Thompson, who had lied about having a computer science degree from Stonehill College, when in fact the academic fraud only graduated with a degree in accounting. Loeb wanted the job done by Monday at 12 noon, EST and as the deadline passed, it was clear the request was would not be honored. As a result, Loeb was forced to demand every single document related to Thompson's hiring at the company. Emails, heading hunting referrals, thoughts, feelings, the works. Most importantly, the résumé Thomspon submitted when applying for the gig. Did Loeb enjoy dragging this out? No. Did he take pleasure in watching the "carnage" unfold? Certainly not, and he's shocked and offended anyone would ever think that. Nevertheless, a computer science degree had been fabricated out of thin air and Loeb felt he owed it to shareholders to get some answers. And while Yahoo! has presumably not yet faxed over the documents he asked for, they did offer this: Apparently the Yahoo chief says he's being honest when he tells us no fake résumés were submitted to Yahoo because they never got any résumés, period. Yahoo‘s embattled chief executive, Scott Thompson, told the company’s senior management on Thursday that he never submitted a résumé or falsified his academic credentials, a person briefed on the matter said. [Dealbook]