$$$ Bank Earnings: J.P. Morgan and Wells Fargo Preview [Deal Journal] $$$ JPMorgan Analysts Say Big Investment Banks Are ‘Uninvestable’ [Bloomberg] $$$ The state of investment banking today: Morgan Stanley’s definitive guide [eFC] $$$ To trade or not to trade, when the Fed sends you inside info [Reuters] $$$ How Do You Run Goldman Sachs Out of Town? [DI] $$$ The Winklevii have a lot of bitcoins [DealBook] $$$ Top Bankers Agree with Obama: Recovery Coming [FBN] $$$ Lisbon struggles to avoid second bailout [FT] $$$ Singer Denial Failing to Quell Win-Win Charge: Argentina Credit [Bloomberg] $$$ A New Look at the Role of Sovereign Credit Default Swaps [IMF] $$$ UBS cap intro chief Rob Sachs jumps to Bank of America [HFI] $$$ Man Tries to Saw Off His Arms at California Home Depot [ABC]

$$$ Markets are building up a tolerance to Eurozone blather [Sober Look, RTE] $$$ Germany set to allow eurozone bailout fund to buy troubled countries' debt [Guardian] $$$ EU official says Greek bailout terms up for talks [Reuters] $$$ Goldman Stuck With a Defense Tab, and Awaiting a Payback [DealBook] $$$ College graduates with arts majors are pretty employed [Gawker] $$$ Mark Ruffalo Joins Call for a Tax on Wall Street [DealBook] $$$ Surely you'd like to join Morgan Stanley's Structured Secured Funding desk in New York as an Executive Director? [DBCC] $$$ Walgreen to Spend $6.7 Billion on Alliance Boots Stake [WSJ] $$$ Jefferies profits hit by trading slump [FT] $$$ Nelson Peltz’s Trian Partners Takes Lazard Stake [II] $$$ BNY Mellon settles with Prudential Fin over forex trades [Reuters] $$$ Stay-Rich-Quick Schemes [McSweeney's]

$$$ Facebook Adds Citi, Credit Suisse, Deutsche Bank on IPO [Bloomberg] $$$ Goldman CEO Blankfein deposed in insider case [Reuters] $$$ Greek Official Warns Debt Holdouts [DealBook] $$$ Yelp Stock Price Jumps 60 Percent In Its Debut [CNBC] $$$ Here is a fashion writer's detailed critique of Dominique Strauss-Kahn's lawyer's claim that it's hard to recognize a naked prostitute [Slate, earlier] $$$ You could be a Senior Director covering REITS for Fitch Ratings [DBCC] $$$ Iceland is considering adopting the Canadian dollar [Globe and Mail] $$$ U.S. seeks dismissal of Hank Greenberg's lawsuit on AIG takeover [Reuters] $$$ John Lanchester talks about why there's so little fiction about money [FT] $$$ And when making such comparisons between economics and physical science, there’s yet another point: what we call “microfoundations” are not like physical laws. Heck, they’re not even true. Maximizing consumers are just a metaphor, possibly useful in making sense of behavior, but possibly not. [Paul Krugman] $$$ Hoboken Steels for Wave of Drunken Revelers [Bloomberg] $$$ "You can all start creating a beautiful grey market now. Enjoy the weekend." [Overheard]

$$$ Spain rating slashed 3 notches by Moody's [Reuters] $$$ Citigroup was once worse than it is now [Bloomberg] $$$ Gupta Prosecutors Draw ‘Secret Pipeline’ Pattern; Defense Asks, ‘Where’s the Beef?’ [DealBook] $$$ JPMorgan doomsday scenario revealed [FT, FTAV] $$$ Large Institutions Discuss New Marketplace for Bonds [WSJ] $$$ George W. Bush’s decapitated head appeared on Game of Thrones [io9] $$$ Lombard Street Research is looking for a senior institutional sales executive in New York [DBCC] $$$ Crédit Agricole Girds Greek Unit for Greece Euro Exit [WSJ] $$$ Two PMs leave Taconic to form value equity shop [AR] $$$ Should lawyers have stopped the London Whale? [ATL] $$$ Endless QE? $6 trillion and counting [Reuters] $$$ Cops: Man on drugs rammed Stamford police cruisers [Stamford Advocate]

$$$ Geithner plans financial crisis book [CNN, earlier] $$$ Former Top Media Banker Sues Los Angeles and 2 Police Officers [DealBook, earlier] $$$ LionTree Advisors zooms up the M&A league tables [Bloomberg] $$$ "In his closely watched annual letter, Tilson said his Kase Fund - formerly T2 Partners before he split with Glenn Tongue last year - lost 1.7 percent compared to the Standard & Poor's 500 total return of 16 percent. He attributed the weakness to a highly correlated market that made divergences difficult to find." [CNBC] $$$ Ask Matt Taibbi anything on Reddit tomorrow [RS] $$$ Employment Agency Apologizes For Hooking Teen Up with Brothel Job [Gawker] $$$ PSEG is looking for a quantitative analyst to join its Energy Resource and Trade business in Newark [DBCC] $$$ RBS didn't admit to systematically lowering Libor during the crisis [Bloomberg] $$$ TIPS spreads remain correlated with equities [Money Illusion] $$$ Money Market Funds Intermediation, Bank Instability, and Contagion [FRBNY] $$$ The Risk Ownership Society [Dissent / Steve Randy Waldman] $$$ Christie Calls Doctor Who Raised Weight Concerns a ‘Hack’ [Bloomberg]

$$$ Spain to inject up to €19bn into Bankia [FT] $$$ New Democracy, Syriza Tied In Greek Race For First, Poll Says [Bloomberg] $$$ "Banks get to play a fun game every quarter that could be called Guess the Value of Your Assets! JPMorgan Chase plays it more than its peers." [DealBook] $$$ "This study proposes a novel framework for capital regulation that addresses banks’ incentives to take on excessive risk and leverage. The framework consists of a special capital account in addition to a core capital requirement. The special account would accrue to a bank’s shareholders as long as the bank is solvent, but would pass to the bank’s regulators — rather than its creditors — if the bank fails." [FRBNY] $$$ "Barry also had a knack for interceptions. When a joint was making the rounds, he often elbowed his way in, out of turn, shouted "Intercepted!," and took an extra hit. No one seemed to mind." [DI] $$$ That’s it for us today. We’re off Monday for the holiday, enjoy the long weekend and see you on Tuesday! $$$ Fortress Investment Group is looking for a treasury analyst in San Francisco [DBCC] $$$ Marc Faber: 100% Chance of Global Recession [CNBC!] $$$ Prosecutors gain early edge in Raj Gupta trial [Breakingviews] $$$ Despite Doubts, Lehman Charges Still Possible [DealBook] $$$ "A penguin on the run from a Tokyo aquarium since early March was adjusting to life back on the inside yesterday after being recaptured on a riverbank. The Humboldt penguin, one of 135 kept at Tokyo Sea Life Park, was recaptured after 82 days of freedom that had even seen it outwit Japan’s well-resourced coast guard. ... The hunt for the bird, which the aquarium said did not have a name, began in early March after it was spotted bathing in a river that runs into Tokyo Bay. Keepers believe the creature made its break for freedom after being startled into climbing over a rock twice its size." [AFP]

$$$ Santander, BBVA Among Spanish Banks Downgraded By Moody’s [Bloomberg] $$$ Spain denies bank run reports [FT] $$$ Big banks need extra $566bn, says Fitch [FT, FTAV] $$$ Icahn Takeover of CVR Gets Support From 55% of Holders [Bloomberg] $$$ JPMorgan's Dimon says will testify before Congress [Reuters] $$$ Occupy Wall Street is staging an intervention with Jamie Dimon [NC] $$$ BlackRock is looking for a performance analyst in Princeton [DBCC] $$$ At CME, an Uproar Over Trading Hours [WSJ] $$$ SEC Probes Role of Hedge Fund in CDOs [WSJ] $$$ Which Biglaw Firm Accidentally Released Embarrassing, Unredacted Documents About Goldman Sachs? [ATL] $$$ Floyd Norris: "For market makers, who may buy unwanted securities that customers want to sell, hedging may be wise and prudent. But it will also be short term, until the bank trades out of whatever position it took on in the course of making the market. But if banks hedge long-term investments, as JPMorgan evidently did, the hedge is also likely to be long term. It will consist of buying something that, in normal times, should move in the opposite direction of their investment. The result is that they will be making convergence trades that are indistinguishable from what Long Term Capital Management did. Given the size of the big banks, they will have to do so in huge volumes that can come back to haunt them if markets move the wrong way." [NYT] $$$ The Boldface Names on the Witness List for Gupta’s Trial includes Lloyd Blankfein, Gary Cohn, Ken Chenault, Raj Rajaratnam, James Barnacle, and Adam Smith [DealBook]

$$$ EU could rewrite eurozone budgets [FT] $$$ Moody's Cuts Ratings on 28 Spanish Banks [WSJ] $$$ Do-it-yourself currency devaluation [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Greek Finance Minister Quits Days Into The Job [Bloomberg] $$$ RBS computer failure condemns man to spend weekend in jail [Telegraph] $$$ Feeding your pet rabbit carrots could be bad for him [NYP] $$$ A leading tech focused M&A boutique investment bank would like to hire a senior associate or VP - could it be you? [DBCC] $$$ Mapping and Sizing the U.S. Repo Market [Liberty Street Economics] $$$ Downgrade of Funds to Have Broad Effects [WSJ] $$$ Banks fight Fed's push to make them less entwined [Reuters] $$$ "Breastaurants" Experiencing a Mini-Boom [AP] $$$ A Jew-Hating Elmo In Central Park [Gawker]