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Write-Offs: 11.23.12

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$$$EU Budget Talks Collapse [WSJ]

$$$Citigroup, Morgan Stanley Sued Over Overseas Shipholding [Bloomberg]

$$$SAC Insider Case Rides Finra Referral to Cohen’s Backyard [Bloomberg]

$$$ Police say a Massachusetts man left his girlfriend’s 2-year-old son in a car while he went shopping for Black Friday bargains, then went home with his new 51-inch flat screen television and left the toddler behind. [AP]

$$$The Jetsiest Jets Play Ever: Mark Sanchez Fumbles After Getting Floored By His Lineman’s Ass [Deadspin]

$$$UBS Said to Face Fine in Rogue Trader Scandal [Dealbook]

$$$ A lawyer for the trustee seeking money for Bernard Madoff’s victims asked an appeals court yesterday to restore nearly $30 billion in claims against JPMorgan Chase and other banks, saying it would force those who furthered the fraud to “pay their fair share.” [NYP]

$$$Naked Lady Gaga stumbles on 35 fans hiding in garage [NYP]

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$$$ Euro zone discussed capital controls if Greek exits euro [Reuters] $$$ Spain's Bailout Boost Quickly Turns to Rout [WSJ] $$$ Fed Says U.S. Wealth Fell 38.8% In 2007-2010 On Housing [Bloomberg] $$$ Bankers Complain of Tension With Fed Over Pay Restrictions [Real Time Economics] $$$ David Cameron left his 8-year-old daughter alone in a pub [AP] $$$ The world's oldest animal marriage looks set to have turtley ended after an incredible 115 years when the two Giant Turtles at an Austrian zoo refused to share their cage anymore. Zoo management have called in animal experts to try and give the pair counselling - feeding them romantic good mood food and trying to get them to join in joint games - but so far without effect. Zoo boss Helga Happ said: "We get the feeling they can't stand the sight of each other anymore." Bibi and Poldi have been a pair since before anyone alive today can remember - they have been together at the Austrian zoo in Klagenfurt for 36 years and before that they lived at Basel zoo in Switzerland. Zoo boss Helga added: "They are both 115 years old - they have been together since they were young and grew up together, eventually becoming a pair. But for no reason that anyone can discover they seem to have fallen out, they just can't stand each other." [Austrian Times] $$$ Intrepid Investment Bankers LLC is looking for an M&A vice president in LA [DBCC] $$$ U.S. high court to hear Amgen securities lawsuit case [Reuters] $$$ A stupid CNBC chart [Felix Salmon] $$$ A stupid Bloomberg headline [Strange Bloomberg Headlines] $$$ A yacht named the Blind Date exploded and sank in the Atlantic Ocean off Sandy Hook, New Jersey [nj.com] $$$ Jerry Sandusky's lawyer tells a jury: "You saw those 8 photos, cute kids" [Penn Live via Deadspin]

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Write-Offs: 02.07.14