You Can Add The FBI To The (Long) List Of People Impressed With Jeffrey Gundlach's Brain

There is no denying that Jeffrey Gundlach is a hugely talented man whose IQ would rank among the highest in the world if he ever had it tested. "What's it like having lunch with a genius," he once asked a colleague, who presumably answered, "To be honest, it's giving me an inferiority complex just breathing the same air as you, knowing that your brain is the standard for how intelligence will be measured from now until the end of eternity." Until recently, however, the application of Gundlach's brilliance was largely confined to bond management. According to a new profile by Bloomberg Markets, though, Gundlach's intellectual prowess is just as if not more impressive when it comes to crime solving.
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There is no denying that Jeffrey Gundlach is a hugely talented man whose IQ would rank among the highest in the world if he ever had it tested. "What's it like having lunch with a genius," he once asked a colleague, who presumably answered, "To be honest, it's giving me an inferiority complex just breathing the same air as you, knowing that your brain is the standard for how intelligence will be measured from now until the end of eternity." Until recently, however, the application of Gundlach's brilliance was largely confined to bond management. According to a new profile by Bloomberg Markets, though, Gundlach's intellectual prowess is just as if not more impressive when it comes to crime solving.

In mid-September, thieves robbed the money manager’s Santa Monica home in a quiet residential neighborhood, taking more than $10 million in artworks as well as his red 2010 Porsche Carrera 4S, wine and watches. The robbers also snatched two works by Gundlach’s late grandmother, Helen Fuchs, who was an amateur painter. The money manager first offered $200,000 for tips leading to the recovery of his art and days later boosted the reward to $1.7 million. Santa Monica Police Department Sergeant Richard Lewis says the large sum of money was key to cracking the case, which the Federal Bureau of Investigation assisted on. In late September, two suspects were arrested and all of the stolen art was recovered. The cerebral Gundlach also gave investigators a tip for solving the crime. He says that while he was at home in his family room, it dawned on him that thieves would do a Google search using his grandmother’s name to find out more about the paintings and how much they might be worth. Gundlach told the authorities that they should check the Internet to see who might have googled the name Helen Fuchs. He says exactly two such searches were executed: one by him and one by the thieves.

Gundlach says his Internet idea impressed investigators. “The FBI,” he says, “thought it was brilliant.”

We've previously expressed skepticism re: the whole heist not being part of some kind of elaborate role-playing stunt for Gundlach and the "thieves" to play out in front of an audience (it's hotter that way) and that skepticism has grown even stronger today based on Google supposedly solving the crime, which seems just a bit too easy. Nevertheless, this whole saga will undoubtedly be recounted via Gundlach's favorite movie genre-- The Porno-- and it will need a name. When this story first began, we thought Happy Endings or Jasper In Her Johns would be apt but now, with the inclusion of Gundlach's part as amateur FBI agent, it doesn't feel quite right. F*cking Nancy Drew or BUSTED (On Your Face) seem more appropriate, but other ideas are welcome at this time.

Bond Investor Gundlach Buys Stocks, Sees 'Kaboom' Ahead [Bloomberg Markets Magazine]
Earlier: Want To Earn $100,000 The Hard Way, You Dirty Little Bitch? Give Jeffrey Gundlach A Call; You Wanna Play Hardball? Jeffrey Gundlach’s Game; Jeffrey Gundlach's Babies Come Home; Jeffrey Gundlach NOT Set Up By TCW, Big Fan Of “Dr. Fellatio” Series

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Want To Earn $100,000 The Hard Way, You Dirty Little Bitch? Give Jeffrey Gundlach A Call

As you may have heard, at some point last week, bond manager Jeffrey Gundlach was robbed. Thieves took $10 million worth of stuff from the Doubleline founder's Santa Monica pad, including a couple of paintings, a few watches, some high-priced wine, a 2010 Porsche Carrera 4S, and whatever cash was lying around. While it's unclear if the burglars made away with Gundlach's collection of priceless pornographic films and sexual apparatus; if he was targeted specifically because the thieves knew they could get their hands on the original copy of Dr. Fellatio 16; or if they were tipped off by JG's regular pizza delivery guy, cable repairman, or pool boy, what is clear that Gundlach is pissed, pissed like a man who is no longer in possession of Ass Traffic Volume 2: The Director's Cut.  And that's where you come in. Mr Gundlach has reportedly offered a $100,000 reward for the return of his property. $1,000 is also being offered for information leading to the arrest and conviction of those who carried out the raid, according to Santa Monica police. And to the burglars, if you're reading this, Gundlach will see your asses in court (the real kind, unless you want to settle this in Bondage Nookie Court in which case, get in touch with this lawyer). Multimillionaire financier victim of $10-million heist [LA Times] Thieves snatch $10million haul of fine art, jewellery and a Porsche from home of wealthy banker dubbed the 'Bond God' [DM] Related (...?): Jeffrey Gundlach NOT Set Up By TCW, Big Fan Of “Dr. Fellatio” Series

Jeffrey Gundlach Had A Little Party Last Night

December 7, 1941. November 22, 1963. December 4, 2009. All dates of such historical and cultural significance that if you asked someone where they were that day, they'd surely be able to tell you. Because they weren't just any old days; they were moments when everything changed. The bombing of Pearl Harbor; the assassination of JFK; and, perhaps most importantly, the firing of Jeffrey Gundlach from the TWC Group, which had taken issue with his decision to start his own firm, and choose to express that anger by first escorting him out of the building and second raiding his offices, where they found an amount of adult films and sexual devices that suggested Gundlach was operating an online wholesale sex shop distributor and keeping the inventory at work. TCW also sued its former employee and at the time, rather than roll over and take it which is something he would never do, Gundlach vowed to fight back and clear up the misconception that TCW was the victim in the situation. On the contrary, JG told people, the real victim was US taxpayers who were "promised" Gundlach's services and had to settled for a subpar bond manager when his relationship with the firm was terminated. Gundlach ultimately emerged victorious* and perhaps even more satisfying to The Pope was the number of TCW employees and clients who followed him en masse to his new company, the aptly named DoubleLine Capital. We're not sure how you celebrated last night's hugely significant anniversary, but we do know how Gundlach did: