Kleinhenz Capital Shuttering Leaves Void In The "Hedge Fund Managers Who Have No Qualms About Driving Their Adversary's Kia Sorento Into A Pond" Field

Last Friday, Bloomberg reported that Kleinheinz Capital Partners had written investors to inform them that the firm would be closing up shop, on account of founder John Kleinheinz's no longer "enjoying running running the fund" as much as he used to. And while JK is certainly not the first hedge fund manager to throw in the towel or to blame "central bank and government intervention for reducing volatility and making macro investing more difficult," and there are obviously enough people left in the industry to manage people's money, this particular account of calling it quits should leave you slightly misty-eyed, for one reason: the hedge fund community has lost the guy that did this (and, noting the less than apologetic apology, would do it again?):
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Last Friday, Bloomberg reported that Kleinheinz Capital Partners had written investors to inform them that the firm would be closing up shop, on account of founder John Kleinheinz no longer "enjoying running running the fund" as much as he used to. And while JK is certainly not the first hedge fund manager to throw in the towel or to blame "central bank and government intervention for reducing volatility and making macro investing more difficult," and there are obviously enough people left in the industry to manage people's money, this particular account of calling it quits should leave you slightly misty-eyed, for one reason: the hedge fund community has lost the guy that did this (and, noting the less than apologetic apology, would do it again?):

Kleinheinz faced a third degree felony charge after the incident took place near his Fort Worth Texas home nearly seven years ago, according to a report in the Star-Telegram. The photographer, David “Smiley” Irvin, had been taking pictures of Kleinheinz’s wife and two children from property that Irvin said belonged to the nearby River Crest Country Club. But Kleinheinz accused Irvin of trespassing on his $10 million dollar property which is near the club, and threatened to call the police. As the dispute escalated, Kleinheinz jumped into Irvin’s rented Kia SUV, put it in gear and jumped out before it drove into a pond, as his family looked on. Police determined that Kleinheinz had caused $16,000 worth of damage to the vehicle, which also contained more than $25,000 worth photographic equipment. He was charged with criminal mischief because of the amount of money involved. The charge came with a potential two to 10 year prison sentence At the time, Kleinheinz told the Star-Telegram that he regretted the incident. “This was not an isolated incident, but it was regrettable,” Kleinheinz said.

Kleinheinz, Corriente Return Client Money as Funds Close [Bloomberg]
Related: $1M donor once wanted for 'criminal mischief'

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Area Hedge Fund Manager: Leave Harry Alone!

As you may have heard, earlier this week the lovable scamp that is Prince Harry of Wales got in a bit of hot water when he was photographed ass naked in Las Vegas, with a bunch of equally ass naked ladies, following some sort of swim meet with Olympic gold medalist Ryan Lochte. Those photographs, some of which involved a billiards table and pool cues, were subsequently run on the covers of various newspapers and the Queen, being none too pleased, told her grandson to get on the first flight back to London (apparently in a tone so scary he knew she meant business and "did not mingle with other passengers," instead remaining "in the upstairs cabin of the 747" to think about what he'd done). While it's unclear what kind of punishment the Queen has in mind, or if she's yet delivered the sort of tongue lashing generally reserved for naughty Corgis and her subjects at RBS, in the meantime many have come to the prince's defense and advised the old lady to back off, like the hedge fund manager the Times found on the tube who thinks the Queen should relax and have a good laugh about it. She'd be doing the same thing if Prince Philip ever gave her a weekend off. Among people surveyed at random in central London, including subway commuters reading about the Las Vegas incident on the front page of the tabloid the Evening Standard, the verdict was mostly thumbs-up. “I think it’s quite funny,” said John Daniels, 46, a hedge fund manager. “I’m sure most people would like to be doing exactly the same thing, especially in Vegas. This is his own private time and people shouldn’t be taking photographs of him.” For Prince Harry, Vegas Exploits Didn't Stay There [NYT]

Zoe Cruz To Shutter Hedge Fund

Don't cry for the Cruz-Missile, though. Apparently she's already strategizing her next move. Cruz is said to have been struggling to raise anything beyond the initial $200 million she obtained from Voras Capital investors, the source said. The source said the decision to return investor money was made recently and all clients would get their money "promptly." Cruz's hedge fund, which began raising money and recruiting employees in 2009 formally opened in 2010, was down 8 percent last year, the sources added...The source said Cruz is fielding job inquiries in the finance industry, but has not made any decisions. Zoe Cruz's Voras Capital To Close [Reuters/Katya Wachtel]

Hedge Fund Manager Who Faked His Own Death Has A Few Theories About Other Famous Murders, Real And Imaginary

Remember Samuel Israel III? For those with short memories, SI3 is a former hedge fund manager who faked his own death in June 2008 with the help of his girlfriend, Debra Ryan, who later wrote an article explaining her actions by noting that she and Israel had "a blazing sex life" that was hard to walk away from (Ryan shared colorful anecdotes that included all the times Israel would "[jokingly] sneak up on her, once while wearing sunglasses on his penis"). For Israel's part, he had pretended to kill himself, incorporating a line from M*A*S*H into his fake suicide note, in an attempt to avoid the prison stay that was coming his way, on account of having taken Bayou Group investors for more than $450 million. At the time, he became something of a minor celebrity, whose business card, prominently featuring an egret, was auctioned off on eBay but since ultimately being sentenced to twenty years behind bars we'd heard nary a peep from the guy. Luckily, Andrew Ross Sorkin recently flew down to Butner, North Carolina for a little chat and it's a good thing he did because Israel had a lot he wanted to get off his chest. After offering ARS an "orange Life Saver," discussing his own version of a playoffs beard ("Mr. Israel...was wearing a tan prison uniform with his hair grown out, a mass of silver and brown curls sprouting from the sides of his bald head. 'I’m never going to cut it until I get out,' he exclaimed"), and talking Ponzi schemes, SI3 got down to the real matter at hand. About halfway through, the interview turned bizarre when Mr. Israel, on the verge of crying, announced: “I took a man’s life. I shot him twice.” I asked for more details. The story is recounted in “Octopus,” but the author, Mr. Lawson, doesn’t appear to believe it. In the supposed slaying, Mr. Israel describes himself defending a known con man, Robert Booth Nichols, who claimed to have once worked for the Central Intelligence Agency and has since died. Mr. Nichols was undertaking a secret trade at a German bank and was ambushed outside by a cockeyed “Middle Eastern guy.” Mr. Israel says he shot the ambusher in the hip and then in the head. He looked at me, shaking, and said, “I’ve seen someone with their head blown off maybe two feet back — as close as I am to you.” Mr. Israel recognized my skepticism. When I asked him what happened to the body, he said, “Bob made a couple of calls.” Again, I looked at him quizzically. “These people can do anything. They can get rid of a body,” he said. “Come on,” he added, looking at me as if I didn’t understand. “They can kill presidents.” I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. “The J.F.K. thing,” he said. He went on to tell me that he had videotapes of Kennedy’s assassination and that one was stolen by the F.B.I. “I know it makes me look like a crackpot,” he said. “But I know it’s real. Look into my eyes — I don’t care if people think I’m crazy.” Egrets. A Con Man Who Lives Between Truth And Fiction [Dealbook]

UK Hedge Fund Manager's Chickens To Maintain The Lifestyle They've Grown Accustomed To In 2013

What motivates a hedge fund manager to continue busting his ass to churn out profits year after year, once he's already amassed a fortune most people can't even fathom, when he could easily pack it all in and live more than comfortably without ever working another day? For some, it's the thrill. For others, it's the trophy's wife's shoe habit. For Crispin Odey, it's the chickens. The Odey Asset Management founder (and sausage brand ambassador)'s got a mess of high-maintenance ones and earlier this year, had architects draft blueprints of a "Palladian-style" mansion he intended to build them (seen at left), replete with a grey zinc roof, "pediments, cornice, architrave, and frieze in English oak," and columns "hewn from the finest grey Forest of Dean standstone." After finishing 2011 down 20.3%, things were no doubt more than a little tense over in Herefordshire, where questions of whether or not construction would have to be halted, or if they'd have to make the switch to [whispers] generic-brand feed. Certainly a moment of panic swept over Odey each day when he returned home, wondering as he turned the knob if he'd be entering an empty house, the chickens gone and a note explaining they couldn't do this anymore on the fridge. Ran off with the general contractor because what was the point of shacking up with a money manger if the money wasn't there? Luckily for all parties involved, it won't have to come to that; according to Bloomberg Markets' annual ranking of the top performing hedge funds, performing under pressure is one of Odey's specialities.

Who Wants To Invest In Phil Falcone's New Company?

Harbinger Global Corp is coming to an exchange near you. Phil Falcone, the embattled billionaire hedge fund manager, has put together an unorthodox IPO that will see his hedge fund firm contribute assets valued at $350 million to a blank check company that will trade publicly. In the deal, a special purpose acquisition company that is expected to trade on Nasdaq and be known as Harbinger Global Corp., will acquire a majority interest in an MGM-branded hotel and casino development in Vietnam and a minority interest in an iron ore producer working in Brazil. Funds run by Falcone’s Harbinger Capital Management that are contributing the assets will get an ownership stake that could be as high as 96% in Harbinger Global and Falcone is slated to become executive chairman of the company. Falcone’s move to become closely involved in a publicly-traded company is audacious given that he is currently facing securities fraud charges from the Securities & Exchange Commission. Yeah, well, people also thought it was audacious for him to invite a burlesque dancing pig he barely knew to come and live with him and she turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to him, so.

Louis Bacon Recruits Brother To Have Tough Conversations With Employees Re: The Fact That They No Longer Work At The Firm

One thing you may or may not know about hedge fund manager Louis Bacon is that he likes to keep his human interactions to a minimum. It's not a personal thing, just people in general thing. He doesn't like 'em and he doesn't want to talk to or look at 'em. For example, rather than taking five minutes to tell a subordinate he disagrees with a trade idea, Bacon has been known instead to "retreat to his office and place an opposing trade, a tactic known as 'fading' a colleague." Clients are treated similarly ("During meetings with...investors, Bacon, who often draws the blinds in his private office, frequently turns to his lieutenants to answer questions, often sitting silently through presentations") and if you thought that being, say the fruit of his loins meant special treatment, you were sorely mistaken ("One longtime assistant negotiates annual spending allowances with the elder of his children individually...Once they've agreed on the number, the assistant invites the child for a sit-down meeting with his or her father, during which Bacon usually signs off on the terms"). So it probably did not come as much of a surprise when LB hired his brother, the improbably named Zack Hampton Bacon III, to speak with a dozen or so members of the staff re: security waiting to escort them out of the building. Moore Capital Management LLC, the $15 billion hedge fund run by Louis Moore Bacon, cut 10 to 15 investment jobs as it restructures one of its equity teams, according to three people with knowledge of the matter. The portfolio managers and research analysts were let go on Sept. 11, said one of the people, who asked not to be identified because the information is private. Patrick Clifford, a spokesman for New York-based Moore, declined to comment. “Apart from a few hedge funds, it’s not that typical to see a large reduction in headcount in the industry,” said Ronen Schwartzman, founder of Ten Capital Advisors LLC, a New York- based firm that advises clients on investing in hedge funds. “Performance must be having an impact.” Bacon, 56, hired his older brother, Zack Hampton Bacon III, in February to oversee strategic planning, a person briefed on the matter said that month. Bacon told clients last month that he planned to return $2 billion, or about 25 percent of his main fund, to investors, saying it may be too big for him to generate returns in line with historic profits as “liquidity and opportunities have become more constrained.” On the bright side, no one was "sprayed in the face" with lead pellets, so not all bad. Moore Said to Reduce Positions Amid Equity Restructuring [Bloomberg] Related: Louis Bacon Has Better Things To Do Than Explain How Big An Idiot You Are