Recent events might have had you thinking otherwise, but Credit Suisse does more than just layoff its employees-- sometimes it promotes them, too! Earlier this morning, in fact, the Swiss bumped a whole bunch of guys and girls up to managing director. And even though it's not grundle-to-face level exciting, it's still something.

As promised, new CEO Mike Corbat will be firing a few thousand people as part of the bank's weight reduction program.

Uncle Vik may or may not be getting a little something extra in his stocking, depending on how generous Citi is feeling. Vikram Pandit, who stepped down yesterday as Citigroup’s chief executive officer, stands to forfeit almost $33 million in cash and stock from a retention package unless the board gives him a payout to ease his exit. Citigroup formulated a plan last year that, based on the firm’s performance so far, would have given Pandit $19 million through a profit-sharing agreement, deferred stock now valued at $9 million and $4.6 million in options, according to the terms of a May 2011 regulatory filing and data compiled by Bloomberg. The plan required Pandit, 55, to be employed at the bank through various payment dates, most of which haven’t been reached. It’s typical for CEOs who resign to forfeit previously negotiated severance and to work out an alternative payout agreement with the board, said Steven Hall, managing director of Steven Hall & Partners, a New York-based executive compensation consulting firm. Pandit getting nothing would signal that “he stood up and said, ‘I’m resigning,’” Hall said. If he gets a payout, “then the question is, did they give him that in order to smooth the path to his resignation or termination? Or did they look at him and say, ‘You know what, you did a hell of a good job during a very, very rough time, we’d like to do something nice for you,’” Hall said. Pandit Could Forgo $33 Million as Exit Voids Retention Plan [Bloomberg]

Just because they unceremoniously threw him out on his ass doesn't mean the board wants to see Vikram go home empty handed. Vikram Pandit, Citigroup' ousted chief executive officer, will get about $6.7 million in 2012 compensation and will forfeit some awards tied to a $40 million retention package granted last year. John Havens, who resigned last month as Citigroup’s chief operating officer on the same day as Pandit, will get about $6.8 million for 2012 and also forfeit some awards, the New York-based lender said today in a regulatory filing. Citigroup is the third-largest U.S. bank by assets. “Based on the progress this year through the date of separation, the board determined that an incentive award for their work in 2012 was appropriate and equitable,” Chairman Michael E. O’Neill said in the filing. “While Citi will also honor all past awards that they are legally entitled to, there are no severance payments. Awards to which they are not legally entitled have been forfeited.” Citigroup's Pandit $6.7 Million Compensation For 2012 [Bloomberg]

For those worried they'd fallen behind.

Unlike the life-changing partnership ritual that takes place every two years, the managing director promotions, announced today, are more of a light pat on the ass that says, you’re doing a pretty okay job so far, but don’t get cocky. You've graduated from VP (a title which is now, amazingly, described to the layman as "the level attained by the disgruntled former employee Greg Smith"), and that's something to be proud of, but stay hungry for the reach-around.