One thing many tend to forget when thinking about multi-billionaires is that multi-billionaires are people too. People who just want to be loved. People who just want to feel good about themselves. People who just want to be beautiful. And just because they are worth mucho dinero does not necessarily mean that when they look in the mirror, they like what they see back. So they try and improve their appearances, thinking a tighter ass or more sculpted calves or higher cheekbones will make them happy and when things don't pan out like they'd hoped, they get a little upset. Take Jim Rogers, for instance. He supposedly wanted movie star teeth. So he went to his dentist in Singapore and had a new set put in and when they started falling out, well, can you really blame him for storming the office and making a scene? An American billionaire, a permanent resident here, is suing his dentist over a treatment that has left little for either party to smile about. Investment guru Jim Rogers, 69, wants a reimbursement of the $48,150 he spent on ceramic enhancements to his teeth recommended by Dr Ernest Rex Tan of Smile Inc Dental - and compensation on top of that. It is unclear how much compensation is being sought, but Chinese-language daily Lianhe Zaobao reported yesterday that the case is to be heard in the High Court, where only claims above $250,000 are dealt with. Dr Tan, 43, is fighting back, and counter-claiming for defamation. Zaobao reported court documents as saying that Mr Rogers is accusing Dr Tan and his practice of negligence for recommending partial-coverage ceramic restoration that turned out to be unsuitable for his teeth. The ceramic enhancements on his teeth later fell off. Dr Tan said Mr Rogers had not gone to him for treatment of temporomandibular joint disorder, but had wanted cosmetic enhancements to his teeth. The dentist said he had warned his patient about the potential problems, but Mr Rogers had decided to go ahead with it. He added that Mr Rogers had also ignored his advice to wear a dental splint. At a consultation to fix the fallen enhancements, the dentist said, Mr Rogers shouted at him in front of his staff and patients; he added that Mr Rogers also defamed him in a letter to six people. According to a spokesman for Rogers, a statement on the matter will be released "at an appropriate time." It's unclear when that is, or if it will be via a letter to investors, but we will of course keep you posted. American Investment Guru Sues Dentist [SLW]

Something we've long-maintained around the Dealbreaker office is that hedge fund manager Jim Simons would make a great fairy godmother, what with his soothing voice, white beard, and the fact that he's really just a lovable math teacher who happened to make a zillion dollars by tinkering away the computers in his garage and would be happy to lend the powers of his magic cigarette wand to those in need.  So we were extremely pleased to have our attention brought to an anecdote from Scott Patterson's Dark Pools, in which Simons seems to appear out of nowhere, just like a FGM would, sprinkles unexpected gifts on a young man and woman (of both hope* and nicotine), and then disappears as quickly as he came via golden carriage. (We also appreciate that Simons is the kind of FGM that will laugh in your face as you explain to him what a quant fund is, not realizing he's got some experience there.) One day in the summer of 2006, Fleiss was having lunch outdoors with his girlfriend at a restaurant on the Upper East Side. As they chatted in the sun after their meal, an elderly man dressed in a modest suit walked out of the restaurant and lit up a cigarette. Fleiss's girlfriend bummed a smoke off him, and they began to chat. "So what do you do?" he asked Fleiss. "I'm actually building a hedge fund that uses quantitative strategies to pick stocks," he said. "Oh really?" The man laughed. "Where did you go to school?" "Amherst." "Good school. You know, I'm also in the quant biz." Fleiss asked where he worked, but the man wouldn't answer. But Fleiss kept pushing. Finally, the man said he ran a fund called Renaissance Technologies. Fleiss nearly fell out of his chair. He wanted to talk more, but a gleaming Bentley had just pulled to the curb and Jim Simons quickly disappeared into it. Dark Pools [Scott Patterson] Related: Who Wants to Become A Rebellion Research Investor? *That some of his quant-i-ness would rub off on the guy.

Remember Debra Ryan? For those who need a refresher, she was the woman behind the man that was Sam Israel III, the hedge fund manager who, with the help of DR, faked his own death in 2008 to avoid the prison time that was coming his way as a result of scamming investors in the Bayou Group out of $450 million. Several months after Israel was caught, Ryan penned an article for Marie Claire, explaining that she'd gone to great, illegal lengths to help him stay out of the big house because of all the "blazing sex life" they had, which see wasn't ready to give up. Though she was clearly not ready to move on ("I should just see it at face value and say he [screwed] me," she noted. "But I can’t let go") one would have thought that time and the three years probation Ryan was sentenced to would have helped her get over the guy who used to sneak up on her "while wearing glasses on his penis."  Apparently, though, such is not the case, as evidenced by Debra's contribution to a new book about Israel by Guy Lawson called Octopus, in which we learn that she is still carrying a torch for the guy the burns nearly as the fire in both their loins. "The next morning was Debra's birthday. She and Sam woke and made love-passionate, frantic, intense love. But as soon as they joined up with the Nicholses the atmosphere turned claustrophobic once again. Debra wanted alone time with Sam. But the Nicholses wouldn't leave them be for even a moment. Left with no choice, the two couples went for a stroll through the historic section of Zurich...wandering the old city was pleasant and exciting for Ryan. "I was starting to have a nice time," Ryan recalled. "Sam always wanted to spend money on me but I wouldn't let him. but this time he took me to a nice clothing store and bought me a bunch of new clothes. He was a great shopper- he could pick out clothes from the rack and they'd fit me perfectly. As we walked in one store, Sam turned me around and grabbed my face and kissed me with so much passion. We started to make out in the store, on the spur of the moment. I had never done that before, and I have never done it since. It was the best kiss ever." Octopus: Sam Israel, the Secret Market, and Wall Street's Wildest Con [Amazon] Related: Claim: Sam Israel’s Investors Gave Him Money Because They Liked Animal-Loving Cokeheads Who Looked Good In Women’s Underwear And Cowboy Boots Related: Hedge Fund Manager Who Faked His Own Death Has A Few Theories About Other Famous Murders, Real And Imaginary

In response to Icahn telling Bloomberg he neither likes, nor respects the Pershing Square founder, Bill Ackman got a couple important points of his chest, the first being that 1. The feeling's mutual, buddy! And 2. You can tell Carl Icahn is lying if his lips are moving.

What would posses a person to do an as-told-to article about the fact that after "failing miserably" at trying to pick up women in bars while working late for a "big name investment bank in New York," he turned to a "sugar daddy dating site" to bang hookers on his nights away from the wife and kids only to fall for one who ultimately broke his heart, because she was a prostitute and didn't actually care about him? The answer, quite, obviously, is love. Love, and a hope that a certain someone will see your story and upon reading that you're completely and totally over her and beating off call girls with a stick, COME RUNNING BACK. I met a girl who said she was a senior at Columbia University. She was so hot. Long brown hair, light eyes, perfect little body. We started an affair and I would give her a $4,000 "allowance" each month to meet once a week for dinner, or just to sleep together if I had a deal or a really late night in the office. Sometimes it was an hour of "small talk and sex," which, really, isn't a bad deal for her. $1,000 for an hour to spend time with me. I felt like a stud, there's no denying that, and I knew that she didn't want anything from me but money. She would come and go away when I made the signal I was tired. Soon though, I started liking her more than I wanted to. She was smart and kind of had a sarcastic sense of humor I found funny. I asked to see her more and she asked for more money. I said I couldn't do any more than that, and she said she couldn't give more time. It was the first time I felt a little hurt, like: "This person just wants my money and probably thinks I'm some gross horny old dude." The next month, I gave her the envelope of $4,000 upfront instead of $1,000 each time. We had sex, chatted, drank some wine and she left. I never saw her again. She wouldn't pick up her phone, then her phone was disconnected, my emails to her went unanswered, and her profile on the site was gone. It was such a blow. Though, really, what the hell did I expect? I guess some warning. Yes, some warning would have been nice but whatever. It's not like you're still upset about it. It's not like there isn't a moment of the day when she's not on your mind. It's not like you lie in bed at night thinking about her holding you. No, no sweat off your sack, which you use to bang hookers six at a time now that whatshername is out of the picture. Working girls line the street to get paid to have sex with you! You don't even have time to respond to all their propositions! The Jiltee has become the jilter! You can't even remember [theloveofyourlife]'s name you're so busy plowing prosties. After that, I decided I was going to go for quantity and not quality. I want hot girls, but a lot of them and substance isn't a huge deal. I have been with dozens of girls, and I give them money each time I meet them. The funny thing is often these girls are chasing me to sleep with them again, because it's easy money, but I just scroll through and delete or ignore the messages most of the time. Men want to be with a lot of women; it is just the truth...Maybe that first girl was a wake-up call. I'm already married. I don't need a steady mistress. But I have one or two I always go back to if I can't find someone I like, which happens a lot....I'm not hurting anyone by doing this. I'm always safe and upfront if I meet someone and know it won't happen. I just pay for the drink and let them know and leave, like "No deal, sorry." It is just like any deal. You have to know how to close it and have to know when you're not interested in putting in the effort to see it through. Why This Married Wall Street Banker Pays For Sex [Buzzfeed]