$$$ Goldman Fined for Failing to Block Trader’s $8.3 Billion Bet [Bloomberg] $$$ Key SEC Holdout in Money-Fund Overhaul Reverses Stance [WSJ] $$$ Canada Approves Cnooc-Nexen Deal [WSJ] $$$ JPMorgan nears £500m bonus tax deal [FT] $$$ Rant: At Top Law Firms, a Class Conflict During Bonus Season [BBW / Elie Mystal] $$$ Lloyd bought a house [DealBook] $$$ The 200 West Street Goldman cafeteria (1) is really very good, (2) features food from a former banker [DealBook] $$$ 100 Women in Hedge Funds names Ivanka Trump to its board, consists of 10,000 women, mostly not in hedge funds [AR] $$$ UBS is looking for a credit officer for securities backed lending in New Jersey [DBCC] $$$ Morgan Stanley's 2013 adviser pay to reward new loans [Reuters] $$$ Brokers Must Disclose Bonuses to Clients in Finra Proposal [Bloomberg] $$$ "It’s always a mistake to use microeconomic intuition in macro," quantitative easing edition [Scott Sumner] $$$ Whale’s Trade in Comeback as Junk Fervor Fades [Bloomberg] $$$ "If Harvard wishes to retain its primary existence as a gigantic profit-maximizing hedge fund ..." [American Conservative via John Carney] $$$ Ivy League Cracks Down as Students Spiral Out of Control [Bloomberg] $$$ "I am tired of fooling around, he said. I’m forming a legal team. We have case studies, an office outside Lexington. He swept the strips off the table and held the beak in the air. We’re looking for a poet to write our anthem!" [The Awl]

$$$ Schaeuble Declares Markets Wrong As Europe Heads To Vacation [Bloomberg] $$$ Don't Force Banks Into 'Draconian' Breakups: Whitney [CNBC] $$$ Morgan Stanley Stock May Be Worth $32 In Breakup, Mayo Says [Bloomberg] $$$ The Merkley plan to refinance underwater mortgages sounds pretty good [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Outspoken Analyst Kinnucan Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ Man who rescued a 17-pound lobster "felt the nearly 100-year-old crustacean did not deserve to die with its parts soaked in butter. 'If he was 100, he saw World War I, World War II, man on the moon,' he said. 'Being in New England, he even saw the Red Sox win the World Series. So, he didn’t deserve the boiling water.'" [CBS] $$$ Due to recent regulatory requirements, a top bank in Charlotte is looking for a counterparty credit risk manager to be a Basel expert [DBCC] $$$ Libor scandal makes it more costly for bankers to get insured [Reuters] $$$ Europe Aims to Make Rate Manipulation a Criminal Offense [DealBook] $$$ Fund managers to lose securities lending profits [FT] $$$ The Securities and Exchange Commission drew sharp criticism from a federal judge who said they have failed to properly oversee a $55 million investor education fund created by a nearly decade-old settlement with Wall Street banks. The fund had been created as part of a roughly $1.5 billion regulatory accord in 2003 with Citigroup Inc, Goldman Sachs Group Inc, JPMorgan Chase & Co and other banks accused of publishing biased analyst research. U.S. District Judge William Pauley in Manhattan said the SEC has shown a "lack of oversight" and "indifference" toward how a nonprofit organization charged with distributing the money has been managed. ... Pauley pointed as an example to a two-year, $91,500 grant to the Genesee District Library in Flint, Michigan, that appeared to have resulted in just two events, one of which concerned "spending, sharing, and saving" for children ages two to five. "While there may be benefits to starting investor education early, toddlers seem beyond the pale," the judge wrote in an order issued Wednesday. [Reuters] $$$ Mitt Romney would restore 'Anglo-Saxon' relations between Britain and America [Telegraph]

$$$ S&P cuts Spain credit rating to BBB-minus, near junk [Reuters] $$$ E-Mails Appear to Back Lawsuit’s Claim That Equity Firms Colluded on Big Deals [DealBook] $$$ Tarullo Calls for Cap on Bank Size [WSJ] $$$ Political backlash over BAE deal collapse [FT] $$$ First-week Bain Capital analyst sort of attempts to buy Gawker, Gawker explains birds and bees, analyst concludes "This is awkward." [Gawker] $$$ A financial services firm is looking for an enterprise risk manager in Philadelphia [DBCC] $$$ Stocks Skid Into Earnings Pothole [WSJ] $$$ Narula Masters Fed, Beats Funds With 500% Gain [Bloomberg] $$$ Citing Deep Data Collections, Senator Opens Inquiry of Information Brokers [NYT] $$$ Pro-Life Congressman Recorded Himself Convincing Mistress to Get an Abortion [DI]

$$$ JPMorgan is the best place to work, according to the Vault Guide [DealBook] $$$ "Morgan Stanley's wealth management chief, Greg Fleming, has just concluded a seven-city tour of the firm’s brokerage offices in an attempt to stem a broker revolt over the company’s new technology system that contains so many glitches that brokers often cannot sign-up new clients." [FBN, earlier] $$$ Ex-Jet Chrebet Among Top Wealth Managers Leaving Morgan Stanley for Barclays [Deal Journal] $$$ A fourth trader under scrutiny in JPM "Whale" probe [Reuters] $$$ "What the ECB is doing, in essence, is setting itself up as the shadow government of Italy, Spain, Portugal, and perhaps Ireland." [Slate / Matt Yglesias] $$$ Court to decide if lap dancing is a tax-exempt art form [USAT] $$$ Morgan Stanley Smith Barney is looking for a suspicious activity monitoring and investigations analyst [DBCC] $$$ Greenhill Expands Capital Advisory Group [DealBook] $$$ Investors are buying California school district bonds [WSJ] $$$ The ‘mystery Libor’ precedent [FTAV] $$$ Why Yes, It Is Time for Homemade Satellites [BBW] $$$ What Famous People Smell Like [The Awl]

$$$ Greek Aid Payment Call Won’t Be Made Next Week, EU Official Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Dexia Gets a New Bailout [DealBook] $$$ Obama Victory Leads Wealthy to Make Quick Pre-2013 Moves [Bloomberg] $$$ "The ECB is playing a more complicated game than old fashioned 'loose money to counteract downturns, tight money to counteract inflation' monetary policy. And you have to ask yourself: Is it working? Has this delivered prosperity?" [Slate / Matt Yglesias] $$$ The guy who was going to fire all of his employees if Obama got elected, gave them a 5% raise [BBW] $$$ Priceline.com Impulsively Buys Kayak During Mini Existential Crisis [VF] $$$ JPMorgan is looking for a high-net-worth banker in Chicago [DBCC] $$$ JPMorgan Cleared for $3 Billion Stock Buyback [DealBook] $$$ Libor rates cull proposed for April [FT] $$$ Consulting Firm That Once Advised Gadhafi Enters Chapter 11 [WSJ] $$$ Here you will find a review of Atlas Shrugged [The Awl] $$$ "As he wended his way toward proposing an April trial date for Christopher's claims and Tory's counterclaims, Strine reflected on the (in his view) unwarranted popularity of 'duck boots,' the mysterious utility of the Topsiders his son just bought and the strangely bright colors of WASP-preferred styles." [Reuters] $$$ "'Paying bills,' Mr. Adelson said on Tuesday night when asked by a Norwegian reporter how he thought his donations had been spent. 'That’s how you spend money. Either that or become a Jewish husband — you spend a lot of money.'" [DI]

$$$ Goldman Banker Probed for Alleged Leaks to Galleon [WSJ] $$$ S&P cuts Spain ratings two notches to BBB-plus [Reuters] $$$ "AIG May Not Be As Healthy As It Looks" [Bloomberg] $$$ The Telus proxy fight is amazing [DealBook] $$$ Legalizing Spousal Necrophilia in Egypt, but only for the first six hours [Volokh Conspiracy] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a VP of Corporate Tax in Chicago - maybe you? [DBCC] $$$ Relax, America, the Bacon Crisis Has Passed [CNBC] $$$ CEO pay is inflated by faulty comp sets [Bloomberg] $$$ A strange data point on flows vs. inventories [FTAV] $$$ Bank bailouts, hedge funds, and foreign sovereign immunity [Economist] $$$ "We do not accept claims for elbow licking." [The Hairpin] $$$ Here is a baby anteater named Corndog hugging a stuffed animal [ZooBorns]

$$$ Wall Street Turns to Hurricane Relief [DealBook] $$$ UBS Appoints New Investment Bank Team [WSJ] $$$ Paul Taubman retired, leaving Colm Kelleher as sole head of Morgan Stanley's investment bank [Reuters] $$$ "Death rates spike when more than half of the moon is visible in the night sky, according to research by longevity analysts." [FT] $$$ Teacher Promises to Put On French Maid Outfit If Students Get Their Grades Up [Gawker] $$$ BlackRock is looking for a performance analyst in Seattle [DBCC] $$$ "Debt-crippled euro zone countries could see the yields on their sovereign bonds fall dramatically if they used their gold reserves as collateral for that debt issuance, according to Sylvester Eijffinger, professor of financial economics at Tilburg University." [CNBC] $$$ Stifel Financial to Buy KBW for $575 Million [DealBook] $$$ Mitt Romney steals Stephen Colbert's slogan [DI] $$$ Pony Up: First Ever Brony Commercial Airs Tonight During Primetime [NYO]

$$$ Treasury nominee wins over critics, says tax reform top priority [Reuters] $$$ Meet the Morgan Stanley C.F.O. Candidates [DealBook] $$$ Has a Restructuring Credit Event occurred with respect to SNS Bank NV? [ISDA, also FTAV] $$$ "Mr. Grantham, chairman of Boston-based GMO LLC, a global investment management firm, was not arrested, but his daughter, Isabel, was one of 48 protesters arrested for handcuffing themselves to the White House fence ..." [P&I Daily] $$$ Dogs! [NYT] $$$ A leading software company in New York is looking for a Senior Vice President; Equity Financial Engineer [DBCC] $$$ Best Buy Founder Schulze Considers Alternatives to Buyout Plan [WSJ] $$$ SEC to roll out ‘Robocop’ against fraud [FT] $$$ Underwater and Drowning? Some Facts about Mortgages that Could Be Targeted by Eminent Domain [Liberty Street / NY Fed] $$$ "[S]tudents in Fröhlich’s "Intermediate Programming", "Computer Science Fundamentals," and "Introduction to Programming for Scientists and Engineers" classes ... collectively planned to boycott the final. Because they all did, a zero was the highest score in each of the three classes, which, by the rules of Fröhlich’s curve, meant every student received an A." [Inside Higher Ed via Catherine Rampell]