$$$ Manufacturing Slowdown Reaches U.S. [WSJ] $$$ Eurozone unemployment hits record high [FT] $$$ The Fishing Guide Who Hooked Hedge-Fund Titan Bill Ackman [Forbes] $$$ Finns, Dutch cast first doubt on euro zone deal [Reuters] $$$ Old Mitt’s Investment in a Fetus-Disposal Company Is Not a Great Thing for New Mitt [DI] $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for an executive director to manage its Latam FX options market-making book [DBCC] $$$ JPMorgan Tightens Bond Grip As Whale Loss Weighs [Bloomberg] $$$ Esma probes agencies’ views on banks [FT] $$$ Physicists Inch Closer to Proof of Higgs Boson [NYT] $$$ Justin Bieber Graduates High School [NYT]

$$$ Google Shares Fall on Premature Earnings [WSJ] $$$ Google and the send button ... [footnoted] $$$ "To be fair, we released our earnings yesterday afternoon on Google Plus." [@PendingLarry via Deal Journal] $$$ Smallest Stock Traders Hardest Hit as Commissions Decline [Bloomberg] $$$ Blackstone Swings to Profit of $622 Million in 3rd Quarter [DealBook] $$$ "Americans who say they work 75 hours a week tend to be exaggerating by 25 hours." [Qz] $$$ BlackRock is looking for a Sales Training Program Manager for their iShares division in San Francisco [DBCC] $$$ Sprint Nextel assumes majority stake in Clearwire [Reuters] $$$ In Insider Trading Case, Drawing In David Ganek [DealBook] $$$ Ex-GE Bankers Jailed in Rigged Muni Bond Case [CNBC] $$$ William Cohan on Greg Smith: "He conned Grand Central Publishing, which paid him a reported $1.5 million for his 'tell-all' book about how the culture at Goldman Sachs had deteriorated during his 12-year tenure into something he no longer recognized, when really Goldman has always been a stinging scorpion. (Disclosure: my wife is the editor-in-chief of Grand Central Publishing, although she had nothing to do with editing Smith's book, and neither of us has read it.)" [Bloomberg] $$$ Republicans Pulling Money Out of Soup Kitchen Where Paul Ryan Pretended to Wash Dishes [DI]

$$$ Fed Minutes Suggest Action Likely [WSJ] $$$ Ainslie Up 20% As Stock Hedge Funds Defy Four-Year Slump $$$ Best Buy shareholders caught in the crossfire [Term Sheet] $$$ FTC Clears Facebook’s Instagram Purchase [Deal Journal] $$$ "Bain is a financial firm, but Romney wasn’t some Wall Street bank-monkey with a pitch book. He was the guy who fired you." [National Review] [!!] $$$ Wharton-Bound Goat Trainer Failed To Get Her Pet Goat To Perform On National Television [IvyGate] $$$ A middle market private equity firm is looking for a senior associate in South Florida [DBCC] $$$ Bernanke ‘More Popular Than Justin Bieber’? [CNBC] $$$ Broken Brokerages: Finance Luminaries Join Fight Over Uniform Fiduciary Standard [NYO] $$$ Chinese acquisitions in US near record [FT] $$$ Obama Says First Dog Bo Is on a Diet [DI] $$$ Man Convicted of Assault for Punching McDonald’s Employee After Sundae Arrived with Hot Fudge on the Bottom [Gawker]

$$$ Cohn Says Banks Other Than Goldman, JPMorgan Retrenching [Bloomberg] $$$ Ex-Goldman trader Taylor pleads guilty to wire fraud [Reuters] $$$ Bundesbank launches Deutsche probe [FT] $$$ Bank of Canada searches far and wide for Carney's successor [Reuters] $$$ Huey Lewis and Weird Al Reenact Classic American Psycho Scene in Honor of Sports’ 30th Birthday [Gawker] $$$ Government Watchdog Faults Regulators Over Foreclosure Review [DealBook] $$$ Royal Bank of Scotland faces $6 billion investor action [Reuters] $$$ Money Is Memory [Izabella Kaminska] $$$ A man caught beating down a 56-year-old woman during a subway robbery in Borough Park wore a college fraternity sweatshirt with his nickname on it, law enforcement sources said. Aidan Folan, 21, was caught on camera wearing his favorite Alpha Phi Delta hoodie with custom lettering on the back that reads, "Stugotz 27," sources added. The Italian slang term roughly translates to "testicles" and is so loved by the suspect he chose it and the number "27" for his Facebook page, sources added. [NYP] $$$ Justin Bieber’s Pet Monkey Quarantined in Germany [Time]

$$$ Wells Fargo Banker, Two Others Indicted on Insider-Trading Charges [WSJ] $$$ Bank of America claims MBIA in default on senior notes [Reuters] $$$ The Queen of England seems to have had a fun tour of her Bank [Telegraph] $$$ DealBook Conference Was Impressive, Lucrative and Chummy, but it was no DBDRN [NYT] $$$ "Lloyd Blankfein … wears a suit that is notably baggy in its cut. The bagginess is unflattering. But it is a pinstripe suit, which is the Bat Signal of men of great influence, Wall Street's version of a rapper's Jacob the Jeweler medallion." [Gawker] $$$ Plot to castrate and kill Justin Bieber at Madison Square Garden is foiled [NYP] $$$ How would you like to be a TIAA-CREF wealth management advisor in Fargo, ND? [DBCC] $$$ Obama’s Bet on GM Hangs on Revamped Silverado Pickup [Bloomberg] $$$ Hostess Said to Attract Bids From Wal-Mart, Kroger [Bloomberg] $$$ "But the decisions in the Argentine litigation do seem to go a long way toward transforming the pari passu clause from a rule of rank into a prohibition on preferences. And if this is right, is there any reason to think the holdings will be confined to the sovereign context?" [DealBook / Stephen Lubben] $$$ U. Chicago Receives Weird Mystery Package Addressed to Indiana Jones [NYO] $$$ "Afterward, the employees — chosen by lottery — nibbled on pigs in blankets and sushi rolls and met with Tyson Chandler of the New York Knicks. But one employee apparently was more interested in an autograph from his boss, coming up to ask Mr. Dimon to sign his ticket. The chief executive complied." [DealBook]

$$$ Gawker acquires semi-public audited financials of Bain Capital funds, orgasms all over them [Gawker, related] $$$ Bain Capital's conversion of management fees into carry may have been tax aggressive [Victor Fleischer] $$$ Republicans eye return to gold standard [FT] $$$ New York Fed Sells Last of AIG Bonds, at a Profit [WSJ] $$$ "Hedge Funds, Grimacing, Open the Kimono" [Bloomberg] $$$ BlackRock would like to hire a securities lending accounting associate in San Francisco, if that's your cup of tea [DBCC] $$$ The Downsizing of the American Butler [CNBC] $$$ What's up with Best Buy? [DealBook] $$$ Citi passed its make-up stress test [Reuters] $$$ Seven-Year-Old Wins Iceland Ram Groping Contest [Iceland Review via MR]

$$$ U.K. Loses Top Aaa Rating From Moody’s as Growth Weakens [Bloomberg] $$$ Panic-driven austerity in the Eurozone and its implications [VoxEU] $$$ Judge extends freeze on account linked to Heinz trades [Reuters] $$$ "I asked ... if Citigroup had a policy of providing financial incentives to senior executives to encourage them to seek high-level federal jobs." [Bloomberg] $$$ "The bankrupt city of San Bernardino has hired a new city manager who, according to court filings, has twice declared personal bankruptcy ..." [Reuters] $$$ Pope Also Abandoning 1.5 Million People on Twitter [DI] $$$ Macquarie is looking for a structuring and risk management analyst for its energy markets division in Houston [DBCC] $$$ “Herbalife is bound by our self-regulatory code that prohibits [crimes]. Obviously, they wouldn’t be members of the association if we believed they were in violation.” [DealBook] $$$ Societe Generale planning CVA securitisation [Reuters] $$$ Don't Fix It, Call It a Risk Factor! [Credit Slips] $$$ Ex-SEC officials to risk council: Back off on money funds [Reuters] $$$ Resume includes "Drug dealer 2003-2005 small time supplier" [Gawker]

$$$ Fed Officials Weigh More Stimulus, Minutes Show [WSJ] $$$ Investors get lowest-ever Treasury yields [FT] $$$ Spain steps up austerity amid protests [FT] $$$ San Bernardino becomes third California city seeking bankruptcy [Reuters] $$$ Wall Street Recruiter Suing the City After Being Arrested for Giving Cops the Finger [NYO] $$$ Financier Leon Black Is Mystery Buyer of 'The Scream' [WSJ] $$$ Russell Investment Group is looking for a head of fixed income research in Seattle or London [DBCC] $$$ CME to Open Fund Set Up After MF Global for Peregrine Clients [Deal Journal] $$$ SEC approves database plan to audit stock trades [Reuters] $$$ Silvio Berlusconi set to run again to become Italian prime minister [Telegraph] $$$ Romney Says He’ll Release 2011 Tax Return When It’s Ready [Bloomberg] $$$ Crazy Clause in McDonald’s’ Olympics Sponsorship Deal Bans All Other Vendors From Selling French Fries to Attendees [Gawker]