Running Bank Of America Is Like Trying To Summit A Mountain Without So Much A Fucking Carabiner, Or Something, Says Brian Moynihan

Author:
Updated:
Original:

“As we look left and right, we’re right with the other climbers, in terms of competitiveness and how we approach the market,” Moynihan told Bloomberg Television’s Erik Schatzker in an interview today at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland. Rivals aren’t “working as hard as we are,” he said. “They have a CamelBak and a water, and we have a 250-pound backpack.” [Bloomberg]

Related

Bank Of America Protester Gives Brian Moynihan A Mouthful

Today at the Citi Financial Services conference at the Waldorf: a woman in a low-cut dress came down the aisle during Moynihan's presentation and started chanting "bust up Bank of America before it busts up America" (she also had the slogan written across her shirt). They cleared her out and then another one came onto the stage, elbowed Moynihan out of the way and took the microphone to do the same thing-- security hauled here away before she could strip. Then a third one jumped on a table in front of the stage, pulled off her top-- had the slogan written across her rack-- and started chanting. It took a good 1-2 minutes to get her out of there.

Are You A Financial Services Company Stuffed To Gills With Toxic Assets And/Or On The Verge Of Bankruptcy? Don't Hold Your Breath For Brian Moynihan's Call

Time was, Bank of America loved buying companies. Bonus points if there was a not-so-subtle suggestion by the target's CEO that BofA would one day be very sorry for doing so, or that they would've been better off picking up an asbestos manufacturer, or that they were looking at roughly $40 billion (and counting) in legal fees associated with fuck-ups that were to become Bank of America's problem, or that they would have night terrors for the rest of their lives about signing those papers. As it's been a while since BofA went shopping, some in the financial services industry have been wondering if we can expect any announcements re: big deals anytime soon or if Ken Lewis's unsolicited suggestions (Groupon, Sino Forest, The Thirsty Beaver, and most recently: "a P&C insurer with outsized exposure to the Northeast") are or have ever been under consideration? Sadly for fans of the Lewis Era/style of doing business, not so much. Mr. Moynihan said in response to an audience question [at the bank's two-day investor presentation conference for financial companies at the Plaza hotel] that the bank has "no acquisition plan at all." BofA's Moynihan Says Fiscal Cliff Impact Already Happening [WSJ]

Brian Moynihan Is Walking On Sunshine

The BofA chief is pretty much having the best day ever. Not to get ahead of ourselves, but his IT guys are THISCLOSE to registering www.brianmoynihnanDOESNTsuck.com before one of his fans can.