"At first I thought it was a friend of mine pulling a prank. I thought it was Lloyd Blankfein,” Jamie Dimon said yesterday in Germany, re: the time Tom Brady called to cheer him up about JPMorgan's $6.2 billion trading loss. He didn't elaborate but it's pretty obvious that the day Goldman was sued over Abacus, Dimon called over to GS pretending to be Aretha Franklin, telling Lloyd "no one's got any R-E-S-P-E-C-T for clever investment products," while months after JPMorgan bought Bear Stears, JD received a call from someone claiming to be "Jimmy Cayne" calling from the lobby with a sample of 90210 kush that he insisted Dimon had to come down and try but "A-SAP, 'cause Big J had to double park his truck." [Bloomberg]
Lloyd Blankfein, Jamie Dimon Singing A Oddly Similar Tune On Dodd-Frank
No need to kill the poor law, just rough it up a little.
Lloyd Blankfein Finally Gets To Be The Prettiest Girl At The Ball
Time was, Jamie Dimon was the most popular CEO on Wall Street and America's "Least Hated Banker," for reasons that included the fact that the man has soulful blue eyes, charisma out the ass, and was in charge of one of the banks that a) didn't go out of business during the financial crisis, like Lehman and Bear and b) supposedly didn't actually need the bailout money the government made it take (as JD has said previously), like Bank of America and Citigroup. The man, in the hearts of many and especially the adoring press, could do no wrong. Which is why it probably stung a lot that Lloyd Blankfein, a Wall Street CEO who also possesses more charm than a person would know what do do with, who was also in charge of a bank that neither went out of business during the financial crisis nor required the bailout money it was forced to take (according to GS), and who is also the owner of a pair of baby blues, though in his case ones that sparkle, could only do wrong. And while LB is not one to gloat at another's misfortune, especially that of a friend, he's obviously feeling pretty good about being living proof of the old saying, "only one Wall Street CEO's balls can be in a vise at a time," and right now it's JD's turn. Dimon did not attend the annual Robin Hood Foundation party [last night], but Blankfein was there, enjoying a rare night out of the spotlight. He shook hands, introduced his wife and, grinning broadly, posed for pictures. For months, Goldman Sachs has been portrayed as the callous Wall Street behemoth whose executives collected giant bonuses while America's housing crisis worsened and unemployment rose. But Monday night was different. "No one cares about Lloyd tonight. It is Jamie against the world, and that's got to feel good for Lloyd," another hedge fund manager said. And this is just the beginning. First, they stop calling you Satan and claiming you poisoned their food, next glowing profiles and cover stories devoting major column inches to your rippling biceps and the throngs of women you beat off with a stick. Dimon Pushes Blankfein Off Hot Seat At Charity Gala [Reuters] Robin Hood Scene: Blankfein, Soros, Rihanna [Bloomberg/Photo]