Want To Wake Up With Mandy Drury?

Or Becky Quick? Or Andrew Ross Sorkin? Joe Kernen? Jim Cramer? Because you think it would be a pleasant way to start the morning or, alternatively, a horrifying way sure to get you out of bed without delay? Now you can!
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Or Becky Quick? Or Andrew Ross Sorkin? Joe Kernen? Jim Cramer? Because you think it would be a pleasant way to start the morning or, alternatively, a horrifying way sure to get you out of bed without delay? Now you can!

CNBC has launched an alarm clock app that allows you to select your anchor of choice for a daily wake-up call. Sadly, they are not personalized to the user but each host does wake you up in his or her own distinctive way (Sorkin says "It's go time," while Jim Cramer shrieks "WAKE UP AND BUY 100 SHARES OF BEAR STEARNS").* Joe Kernen was very disappointed to hear Becky Quick's line is not "Wake up, baby" but you can download the dulcet tones of Rick Santelli, so it's not all bad.

Chairs: CNBC Launches Alarm Clock App [CNBC]
*Actually just "WAKE UP!" but a girl can dream. While we're dreaming, perhaps "They know nothing!"? For version 2.0?

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This Is Warren Buffett Telling A CNBC Anchor How Difficult It's Been To Bang The Guy's Wife

As some of you may have noticed over the years, Warren Buffett has carved out a pretty unique niche for himself in using analogies about whorehouses, porn shops, one-night stands, taking Viagra, fondling inanimate objects (or simply laying the ground work to do so) when discussing business. Regardless of the topic, no matter the setting, he's prepared to go out of his way marry aberrant sex fetish with folksy business wisdom. So naturally, when asked by Andrew Ross Sorkin on Squawk Box this morning if a $22 billion acquisition by Berkshire Hathway that didn't pan out earlier this year might happen at some point in the future, Buffett told the gang "It's always possible. When a girl hangs up on me, I try again," rather than "Sure," or "Yeah, anything can happen," or "Never say never, Andy." At this point, the anchors could have moved on but Joe Kernen saw an opening for a little repartee and went for it, not realizing that he was dealing with a professional. [8:45