Write-Offs: 01.14.13

$$$ Dell Shares Surge After Report of Possible Buyout [DealBook] $$$ Herbalife Rises to Highest Price Since Ackman Pyramid Allegation [Bloomberg] $$$ Guy prefers startups to banking [Pando Daily] $$$ Obama Said to Consider Morgan Stanley’s Porat at Treasury [Bloomberg] $$$ Nudists Seek Corporate Sponsor Looking for Greater Exposure [WSJ] $$$ A multi family office is looking for a senior private banker to cover LatAm markets or US onshore clients from Miami [DBCC] $$$ Skowron Fights Bank $$$ "Bank robbers have made off with an unknown amount of loot after digging a 100-foot tunnel into a Berlin bank from a nearby parking garage. To get into the building, they broke through two concrete walls. Police have no leads." [Der Spiegel] $$$ The Wall Street Journal Has Bedbugs [DI] $$$ Holy Crap, These Dogs Interrupting A Soccer Match Are Adorable [Deadspin]

Author:: Dealbreaker
Updated:: Jan 14, 2019
Original:: Jan 14, 2013

$$$Dell Said to Be in Buyout Talks With Private-Equity Firms [Bloomberg]

$$$Herbalife Rises to Highest Price Since Ackman Pyramid Allegation [Bloomberg]

$$$ Guy prefers startups to banking [Pando Daily]

$$$Obama Said to Consider Morgan Stanley’s Porat at Treasury [Bloomberg]

$$$Nudists Seek Corporate Sponsor Looking for Greater Exposure [WSJ]

$$$ A multi family office is looking for a senior private banker to cover LatAm markets or US onshore clients from Miami [DBCC]

$$$Skowron Fights Bank

$$$ "Bank robbers have made off with an unknown amount of loot after digging a 100-foot tunnel into a Berlin bank from a nearby parking garage. To get into the building, they broke through two concrete walls. Police have no leads." [Der Spiegel]

$$$The Wall Street Journal Has Bedbugs [DI]

$$$Holy Crap, These Dogs Interrupting A Soccer Match Are Adorable [Deadspin]

$$$ Greek left attacks ‘barbarous’ austerity [FT] $$$ Facebook Facebook Facebook Facebook [WSJ/FT/CNBC/Reuters] $$$ Freddie Mac Chooses CEO [WSJ] $$$ After McClendon's trades, Chesapeake board gave blessing [Reuters] $$$ Tim Sykes is still doing things [BetaBeat, earlier] $$$ "A bank robbery, in our imagination, provides the robber with a one-off high-risk opportunity to become incredibly wealthy, in comparatively guilt-free fashion: No one but the corporation loses any money, so, what the fuck? That used to be the case, but due to inflation — as well as a host of other factors — it no longer is." [The Billfold] $$$ CIBC Global Asset Management is looking for a high yield VP in Toronto [DBCC] $$$ House Republicans are complaining that the Fed is helping the economy too much, causing House Republicans not to want to help the economy [Real Time Economics] $$$ Could a Stock ETF Cloak Its Portfolio? [WSJ] $$$ Green Mountain Chairman Replaced After Stock Sales [WSJ] $$$ Nomura is growing headcount [Bloomberg] $$$ “It lived alongside our ancestors, and it probably ate them,” said Christopher Brochu, an associate professor of geoscience at the University of Iowa and a study author. “We don’t actually have fossil human remains with croc bites, but the crocs were bigger than today’s crocodiles, and we were smaller, so there probably wasn’t much biting involved.” [Bloomberg]

$$$ Spain finalises bank recapitalisation plan [FT] $$$ Bank of America's Moynihan tops list of worst performing CEOs [Fortune] $$$ "Nearly 46 percent of the revenue received by Merrill Lynch's Global Wealth Management unit last year came from just 21 percent of its top-producing brokers, about 2,500 people, according to copies of the reports reviewed by Reuters," which seems sort of low no? [Reuters] $$$ Goldman's trading "huddles" won't disqualify it from doing private placements [SEC.gov, earlier] $$$ Lawsuit Claims Texas Constable Forced Deputy to ‘Motorboat’ Her Breasts [ATL] $$$ A bank in New York is looking for a Basel II modeler - could it be you? [DBCC] $$$ Hedge Fund Inflows Slowing, a Report Indicates [DealBook] $$$ Peter Orszag seems to think strange things about the marginal utility of money [Bloomberg, earlier] $$$ Carlyle Falls Below Offer Price as Rubenstein Plan Fails. FYI the plan was "have stock go up." [Bloomberg] $$$ Space-Taxi Race Gets a New Player [WSJ] $$$ Accused madam yelled at by judge after attempting to switch defense team again [NYP]

$$$ Author of the spectacularly wrong ‘Dow 36,000′ has new thoughts on the stock market [Wonkblog] $$$ Fitch Downgrades Italy's Credit Ratings [WSJ] $$$ SEC: Goldman cannot ignore proposal to split chairman, CEO roles [Reuters] $$$ Talk of US high-yield 'bubble' is overdone [Reuters] $$$ "Even as some venture-capital firms have become skittish after the disappointing initial public offerings of Facebook, Groupon Inc. and Zynga Inc. - all of which were venture-backed — a number of hedge funds, private-equity firms and other asset-management firms are pouring money into closely held startups." [WSJ] $$$ George W. Bush’s Art Teacher Says He’s Painted 50 Dogs [Gawker] $$$ A boutique multi-strategy hedge fund in San Francisco is looking for a C++ programmer to help build an HFT platform [DBCC] $$$ AIG to Redeem $1.1 Billion of Debt in Path to Dividend [Bloomberg] $$$ "The Fed said the median loss from commercial and industrial loans across the 18 banks tested would be 6.5 percent under the severely adverse scenario. But Goldman's loss would be a stunning 49.6 percent." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Identifying Term Interbank Loans from Fedwire Payments Data [FRBNY] $$$ S&P Ratings Debate Doesn’t Show Fraud, Peterson Says [Bloomberg] $$$ Q. Do you ever throw your weight around during Internet arguments? Like, "I knew you were going to compare me to Hitler because I AM MIKE GODWIN." A. I never do that. [DI]

$$$ Spain to inject up to €19bn into Bankia [FT] $$$ New Democracy, Syriza Tied In Greek Race For First, Poll Says [Bloomberg] $$$ "Banks get to play a fun game every quarter that could be called Guess the Value of Your Assets! JPMorgan Chase plays it more than its peers." [DealBook] $$$ "This study proposes a novel framework for capital regulation that addresses banks’ incentives to take on excessive risk and leverage. The framework consists of a special capital account in addition to a core capital requirement. The special account would accrue to a bank’s shareholders as long as the bank is solvent, but would pass to the bank’s regulators — rather than its creditors — if the bank fails." [FRBNY] $$$ "Barry also had a knack for interceptions. When a joint was making the rounds, he often elbowed his way in, out of turn, shouted "Intercepted!," and took an extra hit. No one seemed to mind." [DI] $$$ That’s it for us today. We’re off Monday for the holiday, enjoy the long weekend and see you on Tuesday! $$$ Fortress Investment Group is looking for a treasury analyst in San Francisco [DBCC] $$$ Marc Faber: 100% Chance of Global Recession [CNBC!] $$$ Prosecutors gain early edge in Raj Gupta trial [Breakingviews] $$$ Despite Doubts, Lehman Charges Still Possible [DealBook] $$$ "A penguin on the run from a Tokyo aquarium since early March was adjusting to life back on the inside yesterday after being recaptured on a riverbank. The Humboldt penguin, one of 135 kept at Tokyo Sea Life Park, was recaptured after 82 days of freedom that had even seen it outwit Japan’s well-resourced coast guard. ... The hunt for the bird, which the aquarium said did not have a name, began in early March after it was spotted bathing in a river that runs into Tokyo Bay. Keepers believe the creature made its break for freedom after being startled into climbing over a rock twice its size." [AFP]

$$$ Buffett: My Succession Plans Have Not Changed [CNBC] $$$ Meredith Whitney upgraded Citigroup [MarketBeat] $$$ Should you worry that all the big banks are growing their assets? [DealBook] $$$ Canadian approached for top BoE job [FT] $$$ Sallie Krawchek: "I've thought a lot about the issue of stereotypes, particularly on Wall Street. I can't count the number of times I have seen men slam something on a table, even throw something. You sort of do a mental eye roll and move on. I can count on one hand — on one finger — the number of tantrums I've seen a woman have. As she was having it, I remember thinking to myself, Bitch." [Marie Claire] $$$ The Ira Sohn Investment Idea Contest seeks to identify a great investment idea to help benefit children with cancer. This year's contest will be judged by an incredible group including Michael Price, Bill Ackman, David Einhorn, Joel Greenblatt and Seth Klarman. The winner will be selected based on the judges’ determination of the most compelling investment idea submitted with a one-year horizon, and will then get to present their investment idea at the Ira Soch Investment Conference itself in May. $$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a market risk regulatory capital vice president [DBCC] $$$ London Goes After Trading in Yuan [WSJ] $$$ Bank of America Said to Put Foreign Wealth Management Unit Up for Sale [DealBook] $$$ Derivatives Lobby Has U.S. Regulators on the Run [Bloomberg / Roger Lowenstein] $$$ "We are in a depression, but not because we don’t know how to remedy the problem. We are in a depression because it is our revealed preference, as a polity, not to remedy the problem. We are choosing continued depression because we prefer it to the alternatives." [Interfluidity] $$$ "A Michigan lottery winner was charged with fraud Tuesday for collecting food stamps and public health insurance despite pocketing a $735,000 jackpot."

$$$ Facebook Earnings Beat; Profit Margin Falls Sharply [CNBC] $$$ U.S. Economy Unexpectedly Contracts in Fourth Quarter [WSJ] $$$ Is Renaissance Technologies Falling off the Mark? [II Alpha] $$$ Draghi Bank of Italy Knew of Monte Paschi Missteps in ’10 [Bloomberg] $$$ New BlackBerry won't have BrickBreaker [DealBook] $$$ Deutsche Bank is looking for a sales officer for trade finance solutions in New York [DBCC] $$$ Venezuela's bonds have had a 14.7% annual return [Bloomberg] $$$ Goldman Sachs braces for bond market blow up [Fortune] $$$ Treasury Posts Losses on TARP Auctions [WSJ] $$$ "What is the problem with Internet trolls? Why do people dislike them so much? Is it just an example of following-the-herd mentality? Some kind of deeper prejudice? A love of bridges? What is the source of this animosity? Why does it perpetuate itself? Where did this prejudice come from?" [The Awl]

$$$ Participation in Greek Bond Swap Seen Falling Short [WSJ] $$$ Brazil becomes sixth biggest economy. Parabéns! [FT] $$$ The Lone Tweeter of Deutsche Bank [BW] $$$ Market Correction 'No Big Thing': Ken Langone [CNBC] $$$ Watson follows the well-worn path from endearing computer geek to fratty banking analyst [DI] $$$ A global investment bank is looking for mid level experienced equity derivatives marketers - apply before Matt does! [DBCC] $$$ Goldman Sachs: Social Security and Medicare Are 'Weaker' Promises Than Debt [Bloomberg] $$$ Former Porsche CFO charged with fraud [FT] $$$ Russian millionaire seeks mansion approval [Greenwich Time] $$$ Centerbridge Bridge Boss Jeff Aronson Buys Stress-Free Central Park West Roost [NYO] $$$ Consider the numéraire. Or don't, gah. [CNBC] $$$ Apparently "Wall Street's favorite lunch spot" is on 29th Street [BI]

$$$ Ex-UBS Traders Offered Deal by U.S. in Rate Probe [WSJ] $$$ The history of the invention of Libor [Reuters] $$$ British MPs accuse US of anti-City agenda [FT] $$$ Why investors should avoid hedge funds [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ "Brazilian central bank employees staged their first work stoppage in five years today ... demanding an average pay increase of 23 percent to compensate for inflation since June 2008." [Bloomberg via Slate] $$$ Pole Vaulter Realizes It’s Not His Day As His Pole Shatters Mid-Vault [Deadspin] $$$ J.P. Morgan is looking for a Java developer to work on interest rates derivatives pricing [DBCC] $$$ Carbon Credits Gone Awry Raise Output of Harmful Gas [NYT] $$$ "I propose an expanded system of company registration under which companies would have to trade in private markets for a seasoning period, with mandatory disclosure, before they would be allowed to sell their shares to the public at large." [Harvard Law] $$$ On retail vs. institutional investors: "As for small investors vs. little guys, there’s a difference. If you have enough money that you’re investing it through brokers, I personally don’t count you as small, even if you appear small to Goldman Sachs." [Mathbabe] $$$ A Hundred Horses Are Ford’s Pride After Flipping Tainted Banks is really a Bloomberg headline [Bloomberg] $$$ Beck's next album will be released only as sheet music [McSweeney's]