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Write-Offs: 01.15.13

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$$$ There was a guy at SAC who wasn't insider trading [DealBook]

$$$ Herbalife tastes terrible but works [John Hempton]

$$$ "... organisations that make a virtue out of the cleverness of their staff and sell intangible services – accountancy firms, consultancies, banks – are particularly prone to stupidity." [FT]

$$$It’s Bonus Week on Wall Street [DealBook]

$$$Cleaning Lady Steals Train, Slams It Into Apartment Building [Gawker]

$$$We're sorry for the technical difficulties today and are crossing all our fingers that we'll have a functioning site tomorrow.

$$$ Facebook has some sort of new search thing [Bloomberg]

$$$ John Kinnucan got four years in prison for insider trading and threatening prosecutors [Reuters]

$$$Secretary Convicted In Theft From Ex-Wall Street Executive [Law Blog]

$$$Sydney Vomiting Bug Poses Risk for Cruise-Line Passengers [Bloomberg]

$$$Miss America's Boyfriend Works At JPMorgan [BI]

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$$$ Schaeuble Declares Markets Wrong As Europe Heads To Vacation [Bloomberg] $$$ Don't Force Banks Into 'Draconian' Breakups: Whitney [CNBC] $$$ Morgan Stanley Stock May Be Worth $32 In Breakup, Mayo Says [Bloomberg] $$$ The Merkley plan to refinance underwater mortgages sounds pretty good [Reuters / Felix Salmon] $$$ Outspoken Analyst Kinnucan Pleads Guilty in Insider Case [WSJ] $$$ Man who rescued a 17-pound lobster "felt the nearly 100-year-old crustacean did not deserve to die with its parts soaked in butter. 'If he was 100, he saw World War I, World War II, man on the moon,' he said. 'Being in New England, he even saw the Red Sox win the World Series. So, he didn’t deserve the boiling water.'" [CBS] $$$ Due to recent regulatory requirements, a top bank in Charlotte is looking for a counterparty credit risk manager to be a Basel expert [DBCC] $$$ Libor scandal makes it more costly for bankers to get insured [Reuters] $$$ Europe Aims to Make Rate Manipulation a Criminal Offense [DealBook] $$$ Fund managers to lose securities lending profits [FT] $$$ The Securities and Exchange Commission drew sharp criticism from a federal judge who said they have failed to properly oversee a $55 million investor education fund created by a nearly decade-old settlement with Wall Street banks. The fund had been created as part of a roughly $1.5 billion regulatory accord in 2003 with Citigroup Inc, Goldman Sachs Group Inc, JPMorgan Chase & Co and other banks accused of publishing biased analyst research. U.S. District Judge William Pauley in Manhattan said the SEC has shown a "lack of oversight" and "indifference" toward how a nonprofit organization charged with distributing the money has been managed. ... Pauley pointed as an example to a two-year, $91,500 grant to the Genesee District Library in Flint, Michigan, that appeared to have resulted in just two events, one of which concerned "spending, sharing, and saving" for children ages two to five. "While there may be benefits to starting investor education early, toddlers seem beyond the pale," the judge wrote in an order issued Wednesday. [Reuters] $$$ Mitt Romney would restore 'Anglo-Saxon' relations between Britain and America [Telegraph]

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$$$ David Einhorn is at the final table of the $1mm buy-in no-limit hold-em event at the World Series of Poker [ESPN] $$$ Police search Sarkozy home and offices [FT] $$$ JPMorgan’s Role in Power Market Comes Under Scrutiny [DealBook] $$$ Fink Says Diamond ‘Emotion’ May Have Aggravated Regulator [Bloomberg] $$$ The culture of CEO-punching runs deep at BarcLeh [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ That’s it for us today. Enjoy the 4th and we'll see you on Thursday. $$$ A $10 billion NY-based asset manager is looking for an ADR arbitrage trader - interested? [DBCC] $$$ Welcome back Ireland! [FTAV] $$$ SEC Loses Bid to Get SIPC to Pay Stanford Ponzi Claims [WSJ] $$$ In Maine, lobster that is cheaper than bologna [MSNBC] $$$ Tom Cruise prevented a Dawson's Creek reunion [NYP]

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