Chart alleges ENORMOUS pay for traders at Bank of America Merrill Lynch; Herbalife reaches preliminary settlement with FTC; Casey Anthony allegedly paid her lawyer with sex; and more.

Yellen just about ready to do this; Alleged spoofers charged; JPM buries whale; "Pennsylvania Officials Stumped Why Town Smelled Like Cat Pee"; and more.

$$$ Paul Singer wants Mitt Romney to regulate banks more [FT] $$$ JPMorgan, UBS Said Among Banks Queried In Libor Probe [Bloomberg] $$$ Apollo Said To Seek Up To $12 Billion For Flagship Fund [Bloomberg] $$$ Consider taking trading advice from a 23-year-old who day-trades equities in Dallas for his own account and talks about it with Business Insider [BI] $$$ Police Seize Pimping Rules During Raid [TSG] $$$ Shitterton named most unfortunate place name in UK [Scotsman] $$$ Legg Mason is looking for a US product strategist in Baltimore [DBCC] $$$ Standard Chartered eyes joint deal after backing down in U.S. [Reuters] $$$ Jana Disappointed With Agrium Talks [WSJ] $$$ The Harvard Business Review is pro-reading [HBR] $$$ Locals faced with medieval tax to pay for castle renovations [DutchNews] $$$ Lifeboats kill more people than they save [Brendan Koerner]

$$$ Tables turn on Spain with pressure to seek bailout [Reuters] $$$ Maybe David Viniar will be Goldman's chairman when Lloyd retires and Gary is CEO? [WSJ] $$$ "The study found that for a sample of modifications to securitized subprime mortgages, a 10 percent reduction in the monthly payment was associated with a 4.5 percentage point reduction in the twelve-month redefault rate." [New York Fed] $$$ "If Apple continues on its current trajectory, something remarkable might happen on April 9, 2015, at around 11 a.m. That is, statisticians and investors I've spoken with say, a conservative estimate of when Apple could become the first company ever to be valued at $1 trillion." [NYT!] $$$ Welcome to the world Quartz! [Qz] $$$ "To call the Berenstains anthropomorphized bears insults both humans and bears." [NetNet / John Carney] $$$ Credit Suisse is looking for a research analyst for commodity strategies in asset management in New York [DBCC] $$$ U.S. Corporate Bond Tally Could Top $100 Billion in September [WSJ] $$$ Meredith Whitney is still pretty sure banks will fire a lot of people [CNBC] $$$ William Cohan confuses himself horribly about Whaledemort [Bloomberg] $$$ Mario Batali is paying $1.15mm to Del Posto employees to settle a lawsuit over wages, tips, overtime and discrimination [Diner's Journal] $$$ Hillary Clinton Aide Tells Reporter To “Fuck Off” And “Have A Good Life” [BF] $$$ Mitt Romney Doesn’t Get Why Airplane Windows Don’t Open [DI]

$$$ Ben Bernanke is pretty sure the thing he's doing is not a horrible idea [FRB] $$$ Four Charged in U.K. Insider-Trading Probe [WSJ] $$$ Hedge Fund Jana Partners Takes Aim at Agrium [WSJ] $$$ In Goldman Programmer Case, a Way Around Double Jeopardy [DealBook] $$$ "The idea is that while equity owners - management - are like owners of call options on the assets of a firm (aka the Merton Model), banks are like down-and-out call option owners, because if their book equity goes down too far they will be forced into a fire-sale or liquidated by regulators. This is a barrier option, and has the interesting property that its vega - the derivative of the value of the equity with respect to asset volatility - is negative when it gets close in value to its barrier." [Falkenblog] $$$ Looking at cats on the internet makes you more productive at playing games on the internet [Wonkblog] $$$ Shia LaBeouf rescues sea lion [tv3.ie] $$$ Citi Capital Advisors is looking for a director of hedge funds risk management in New York [DBCC] $$$ DVA, one half of Dealbreaker will miss you [WSJ] $$$ LIBOR may converge with CD rates [Sober Look] $$$ Equity Trading and the Allocation of Market Data Revenue [FRB] $$$ "A Miami-bound American Airlines flight made an emergency landing at JFK when a row of passenger seats became unbolted and dangerously slid around like a carnival ride ..." [NYP] $$$ In urban Taiwan, indoor shrimp fishing is booming [LAT] $$$ "Queens teacher suing city claiming he was beaten up by a first-grader"; the pictures are superb [NYP]

Goldman women gain ground; Economists see rate rise coming in December; Gundlach says buy India; "Man Says Buying Hot Pockets Saved Him From Plane Crash"; and more.

Iceland PM resigns over offshore investments; New inversion rules test pending deals; United flight attendant leaves packed plane in Houston on emergency slide; and more.

Houlihan Lockey fizzles; Shake Shack slides; GM ramps up; Minions are smuggling cocaine; and more.