CNBC Is Nobody's Sloppy Seconds!

*DJ CNBC Tells Wall Street Execs To Go Back To Their Ready Made Whores At FBN, Bloomberg TV *DJ CNBC 'If You Go On Bloomberg We'll Fucking Cut You' *DJ CNBC 'Brian Moynihan Knows What He Did' *DJ CNBC 'Will Tell Everyone That Walks In This Building That in 2R, Cohn, You're Nothing But A Whore' *DJ CNBC Suggests It Won't Hesitate To Throw A Drink In The Face Of Anyone Seen Running Around Town With Another Network *DJ No, CNBC Doesn't Think It's Overreacting *DJ CNBC Will Show You Crazy
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*DJ CNBC Tells Wall Street Execs To Go Back To Their Ready Made Whores At FBN, Bloomberg TV

*DJ CNBC 'If You Go On Bloomberg We'll Fucking Cut You'

*DJ CNBC 'Brian Moynihan Knows What He Did'

*DJ CNBC 'Will Tell Everyone That Walks In This Building That in 2R, Cohn, You're Nothing But A Whore'

*DJ CNBC Suggests It Won't Hesitate To Throw A Drink In The Face Of Anyone Seen Running Around Town With Another Network

*DJ No, CNBC Doesn't Think It's Overreacting

*DJ CNBC Will Show You Crazy

Pro-tip for financial executives and billionaire investors: If you want to appear on CNBC on Tuesday, do not give an interview to Bloomberg TV on Monday. CNBC, until recently the only player in the financial television news game, has established a strict, some say ruthless, policy for its guests: Come to us first, or don't come to us at all. In interviews with POLITICO, current and former CNBC guests, including financial executives from major American companies, said that they had to decline booking requests from rival networks, including Bloomberg TV and Fox Business, due to "CNBC rules." Some said their appearance on a rival network had resulted in CNBC cancelling a previously scheduled booking.

"CNBC always wants to be first, so they will insist on having the first interview or they will not cover you," one financial services executive told POLITICO. "That's true even if it's a day later on a totally different topic. It's juvenile." "If they see you on a competing channel they won't invite you back for a week or so," said one source who was formerly a regular guest on CNBC. "They'll call and ask if you've been on another network. If you say, 'Yes,' then they won't invite you. If you say, 'No,' they'll book you and ask you to hold a time. But then they might cancel the booking at the last minute. I don't know of any other channel that does this." The extent of the freeze-out varied, according to sources who had experienced it. Some said it was only for a 24-hour period, others a 48-hour period. One said he was forced to turn-down a Thursday booking with a rival network because he was scheduled to appear on CNBC the Tuesday of that same week.

At CNBC, A Strict Guest Policy [Politico]

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Step 1: Come up with story idea, say, about how small businesses are being hurt due to the NBA lockout Step 2: Reach out to Twitter followers, ask them to corroborate said story Step 3: Wait. Step 4: Practice asking Kate Upton to be your Valentine. ["Will you, Kaaa" voice cracks. "Will you, Kate Upton.." No, that's stupid. "Kate I would be most honored if you.."] Step 5: Daydream about how you and "Katie" will tell your families you eloped. Step 6: Marvel at your good fortune when a guy, who in real life is a bored teenager but over the internet seems like a legit businessman, emails you to say that he runs an escort service in New York, "mostly for away team players after games but some Knicks and Nets too; they are high rollers and I'm not getting the constant business I that I need to stay running." Step 7: Double fist pump the air and shout "Yes, D-Rove, you got this!" Step 8: Breathe, tell yourself to calm down and reel it in. Step 9: Put on your reporter hat and ask "Henry James" some questions like, "How much money would say you're losing? What cut do you then get? What is the cheapest woman and what is the most expensive woman? I assume it's by the hour and what is the typical # of hours?" Step 10: Make no attempt to verify source is who he says he is, that his business exists, that you're not being taken for a ride. Step 11: Cut, print. How A Teenager With A Fake Escort Service Duped Darren Rovell And CNBC [Deadspin] Related: SI Swimsuit Model Doesn’t Have To Worry About Things Getting Weird With CNBC Reporter Because He’s Known Her Since She Was 17

SI Swimsuit Model Doesn't Have To Worry About Things Getting Weird With CNBC Reporter Because He's Known Her Since She Was 17

Something you may have picked up on when watching CNBC interviews is that if an anchor or a reporter has fond feelings for their interviewee, they often find it difficult to suppress. Joe Kernen, for example, more or less fellated David Tepper when the hedge fund manager appeared on Squawk Box a while back, telling Tepper his "entire body had chills" at the thought of having him on set (Bill Murray received the same treatment last Friday). To that end, perhaps you saw Darren Rovell's interview with Kate Upton?